|Reviews for Fragile Clay: To Shape a Vessel 0:1|
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/2
Is this ongoing or Complete & if it's Complete can you please change the status to show that
| peinait chapter 5 . 2/15/2013
wtffanfiction dot tumblr dot com slash post/41884127354/fandom-ranma-1-2-she-persisted-with-her
Hey, your work is being mocked here which is where any haters are coming from... if it bothers you its a copyright violation and the complaint form to report is here:
tumblr dot com slash dmca
(It doesn’t let me put in actual links)
Keep up the good work!
| ijpowers92 chapter 5 . 10/14/2012
well the story has caught my interest. Don't know what to expect though. I've heard about the series but nothing to base an opinion on.
| Thrawnma chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
This is a story whose beginnings I recall many years back. I read the first two arcs years ago and, like others, have been delighted to discover that it is still being continued. I want to see a happy ending for Hiroshi, Daisuke, Ranma, and everyone else and it takes a good author to make someone want that. I want to see more.
And with that said, I'd also like to see less. I've seen at least one other review target the overwrought english and yes, that is a detractor in this story. Using ten words where two will suffice is not always a writing strength. The details soon become boring, everything is too much simile, too much analogy, too much to drink in for us to allow our own imaginations to truly immerse us in the story with the end result the reader feels separate and aloof from the story. Spelling and grammar are above average in any respect, and I have noted a marked improvement in those areas since you first started Fragile Clay. You're not a bad writed in any respect, but it seems like you're still trying to strike that balance between descriptive detail and stark, sanitized english. It's a hard balance to strike in any respect and I wish you the best of luck, but as the saying goes, "Less is more." Let the readers fill in some details, call attention to those details that should be noteworthy. Figure out where your balance is, and you'll not only be set for this fic, but as a writer in general.
As far as plot points go, while I'm not personally fond of grand, overarching tales dealing with supernatural entities of darkness looming over the world, poised and prepared to plunder our planet(!), I will concede this has all been foreshadowed since the very beginning, and that it's hardly like it's come out of nowhere. I will say that I became attracted to this fanfic for the fact that it broached the premise that Ranma's soul was fragile and s/he needed someone of great emotional strength to be a protector. It was the mundane that made me a fan, the moments where Hiroshi would impart some soulful wisdom, would offer the support that Ranma needed, craved, that made me a reader. It is seeing the protector, protected, loved, and cherished that has made me come back for more. And while you are entitled to your plot that you have developed for so long (as I stated before, while not personally fond I can't say as this hasn't been foreshadowed) I hope you can maintain that which kept my interest for so long, the simple budding love and relationship of two people with beautiful souls and large hearts. I wanna see a happy ending, for all involved. Please hold on to that special quality which made your fic so great in the first place.
The critique finished, on to my personal feelings. I wanna see more Hiroshi. Bring him back! Kuno can come too. God knows the buffoon needs credibility written into him whenever possible.
| Aki chapter 3 . 9/22/2007
is this supposed to be something different than fragile clay? like a reimagining of the story?
| faisdodo chapter 3 . 9/22/2007
Oh! This is a great story. I love the POV and the story & dialog is solid. Keep up the great work!
| Howard Russell chapter 3 . 9/19/2007
I too lust for colorful turns of phrase; you always supply them. You're a great author-far better than the average fanficcer. Thank you so much for writing "Ranma" and sharing these wonderful tales with us.
| Krimzonrayne chapter 3 . 9/18/2007
This part reinforce the idea of Hiroshi as a misunderstood genius. He's dealing with the relationship in a very mature (almost too mature, even) way. I mean, to me, he sounded like he's 35~ widower who's dealing with a budding affair.
| Keri McVean chapter 2 . 6/1/2007
This is good stuff. You've done a good job of showing Hiroshi's perspective. And I like his mom. She's funny. I kinda wondered about his parents in the other story. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of this.
| Krimzonrayne chapter 2 . 6/1/2007
The different POV was definitely refreshing, I nice break from the omnipresent 3rd person narrator you normally get these days.
A little bit on the short side but definitely enough to get me interested.
| Howard Russell chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
Well done. Not sure where this fits in the Fragile Clay continuity or if it's an AU of an AU, but it's a nice picture of Hiroshi, even if it makes him look a bit more perverted.
| Neverwinter chapter 1 . 5/31/2007
when are you going to update 3rd season? great prequel
| Tyme's Passage chapter 1 . 5/31/2007
Hey... just going to say this out right. I'm your biggest fan by far. I've read this story since you first wrote it, multiple times. I'm in love with it completely and utterly, you made this story so amazingly well that it's breath taking. I've laughed with it, cried with it, and read it at least once every other month all in a few sittings. Keep up the amazing work, and I can't wait for you to continue this, and the main cannon.
| KaeKei chapter 1 . 5/31/2007
Oh... very interesting. I've been following this whole thing for years... however many its been. Hah. Anyway, this seems like a prequel of sorts... I think. Good luck with it!