Reviews for Return of the Moonfang
p chapter 6 . 9/20/2014
8i
Edgar3t chapter 20 . 7/31/2014
Just as the story is about to take a level in epicness it stops?! WHHHHHHYYYYYYY? Great fic hope you get back to writing it soon
reads 10hrsday chapter 12 . 5/31/2014
I graduated philosophy and am now a law student. Hell, if it was made of mountains of cases you would be required to read and be asked for hours in an auditorium full of people, would be akin to being a law student. Now, whenever I get some free time I'd read Bleach and fan fictions about it in order to relax my mind. The whole point is an entertaining, thrilling, story that takes me back to my younger life.

I applaud you for the good work so far regarding the plot and the general idea of it all. But sadly, you miss the point of reading stories such as Bleach. They are meant to be FUN and LIGHT as to cater to the likes of children and teenagers, maybe even the adults on the side.

YOU ARE OVER THINKING THIS. YOU ARE MAKING THIS PAINFUL TO READ. THE CHARACTERS ARE TOO FAR OUT OF NORMAL HUMAN THINKING AND SPEAKING PATHS THAT THEY BECOME ALIEN.

I intentionally separated the above as to make it painfully clear. Though I am impressed by the writing, it is way too convoluted. Try simple sentences and it will be easier for both you and the reader. You write like a judge/justice does in jurisprudence back in the days when legalese was a mandatory style for them. It is not necessarily a bad thing but keep in mind who you expect to read this. The average reader would go through the first three paragraphs of chapter 1 and then leave.
Guest chapter 5 . 5/16/2014
awesome
Guest chapter 4 . 5/16/2014
beautiful
Guest chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
weird
Guest chapter 2 . 5/16/2014
amusing
Guest chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
interesting
TiffRedd1994 chapter 20 . 10/5/2013
update soon!
EquinePianist chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
Perhaps you could put the summary inside this chapter? I skipped over your fic the first time I came across it, and decided to try it after finding it again in one of my searches.
Guest chapter 20 . 1/14/2013
already evolved with his final fight against Eisen
Guest chapter 20 . 1/14/2013
with what we know about getsu now thanks to new chapters zangetsu can't remain being a royal guard anymore. in order to keep the story as realistic as possible I suggest merging the 2 spirits and truly making the moon Fang belong to the strawberry and not the spirit King. with this I also suggest changing his clothing and sword to their final appearance in the final Ark of the series. I'm sure you saw how OVERPOWERING he was only in his shikai state using getsuga tensho. Also since you acknowledge his humanity having a part in him being so strong I suggest keeping him human in other words being able to use his full power without THROWING away his flesh.

P.S. As strong as he is his shikai and bankai
Guest chapter 20 . 1/14/2013
after he regains his powers then your story can be even better
Guest chapter 20 . 1/14/2013
sorry about that I posted before I could finish. I like how strong the romance and the mature aspect of the story is but you putting so much of it's in and it's not bleach anymore. don't forget what makes a Shonen Series unique 2 young boys is the innocence and purity of the main character.

best worst example is Death Note. as dark as light becomes in the series when he returns ownership of the def note his innocence returns and his desire to hunt down Kiera is as strong as if not stronger then L's.

what I'm saying is that you can make your series as serious as you want and romantic as you want but don't forget it's not a seinen and its not a shojo it's a shonen. what made ichigo so popular out of all the Shonen characters is his blunt straightforwardness. your ichigo is missing the fire to his younger self has. if you can make him even have as similar to Canaan
Guest chapter 20 . 1/14/2013
you already screwed up with a story. like most other fan fiction writers you're forgetting whats type of viewers the story gets. it's a shonen not a seinen not a soujo a Shonen.
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