Reviews for Why Miss Carmichael
Tracey Claybon chapter 1 . 11/15/2007
Ah, dreams have a way of making you admit to yourself - even if you can't admit it to anyone else - how you really feel about things and people...

I like this story, and its sequel.


Metalchick36 chapter 1 . 10/25/2007
I liked it! Even though it didn't go as far as Adult, I can still use my imagination. Are you planning on writing anymore Law & Order fan fiction? I encourage you to keep it up!
Killer Moth chapter 1 . 6/4/2007
Before I start, I'm going to remove the personal side of the equation, or nothing will get done. Heh.

I'll split this into three topics:

Dialogue: For the dialogue half, you captured their banter wonderfully. You perfectly highlighted the nuances: Abbie's double-sided facade to Jack's tender cautious ness regarding her. I'm pleased you didn't overdo her sarcasm, either (as some writers do). It's as good as it gets, yessir.

Narration: For the narrative half (as the ending had taken), you had a more than proper finale. Despite any shippers (me), it was extremely realistic and the right course of action, suffice it to say. Although, if I were to take an issue, it would be a lack of body language on Jack's reaction to both Abbie's hypothetical confession (the stained underwear line) and the real one. One would have to be stone not to react to either provocative statement (eyebrows to the ceiling, nostrils flaring for arousal or the Adam's Apple Jumping for nervousness, etc).

To be fair, body language isn't something overtly stressed in fics. In the short run, it's perfectly fine, nevertheless, it can all add up in the long run. Believe me, I had my share of difficulty grasping it myself, so no worries.

Descriptions: Wonderful descriptions, yes, and I certainly enjoyed Jack's (personal irony aside). However, I was surprised that you didn't cover Abbie as such with, say, her tan skin (or oddly pale skin as she was rather pasty when she left) or her perfect cheekbones. Not a glaring omission, mind you, but something to consider.

Overall, for your first Law & Order (or really, Jack/Abbie) fic, you were excellent. Anything else would amount to fanboying, so I'll stop here. Now, I can finally unleash my incessant giggling. But we both wouldn't want that. Nope.
mccoylover chapter 1 . 6/3/2007
I'm glad Jack was dreaming - I kept think that guy from Dateline was gonna pop out with a camera crew!

Really nice story. Would love to see you continue it - I assume Jack and a grown up Abbie might feel compelled to live out this little fantasy.

That waiting one more year thing...very Jack.
Teyerin chapter 1 . 6/3/2007
Black Panther's Knight -

Enjoyable piece indeed, full of detail and a solid ending. Looking forward to reading your other writings.