|Reviews for Kikumaru's nickname|
| Surely Blue chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
I am not going to lie. This had some really funny parts, but, overall, disjointed is the word I would choose to describe this short fan-fiction. Remember, practice makes perfect - good luck!
He ignored Momo's quiet mutter of 'when has he ever been in a hurry to get anywhere."
Fuji, who was standing nearest, strained his ears to hear the conversation.
He suddenly glomped the freshman before running off to pester Oishi.
Eiji's surprise attack had left the boy sitting on the ground.
Fuji's grin widened when he heard the reply.
Even Tezuka smiled slightly.
"…you're my senpai, it's disrespectful."
"…when have you ever been respectful…"
| pinaygurl28 chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
aww how cute
| Alpha chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
LOL This is hilarious! Awesome fanfic!
| The runt Duchess chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
AWWW...that was SO *CUTE*! i absolutely ADORED IT! Kiku-kun, Kiku-kun! XD XD _ great job!
| happy-go-lucky writer chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
Hahaha! That's adorable! And you're spelling of Kikumaru was correct...at least from the episodes I was watching. Anyway, that was epic. Great job!
| Twillightfairy chapter 1 . 4/15/2012
I was not expecting what I got. I enjoyed it though.
| Kage Hasu chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
I agree with Fuji: That was so cute!
| SkyGem chapter 1 . 2/25/2011
omg, that was hilarious!
| BeyondMyReach chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
Aww... So cute
| BeTrueToThyself chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Ah, kawaii! *squees*
| Hale chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
That was cute. really cute.
Though, I don't think Ryoma will really
call Kikumaru (snickers) Kiku-kun.
| rini anointed436 chapter 1 . 10/8/2009
Well, this doesn't seem like a drabble. It's either a one-shot or a short story. Drabbles are considerably short, which are about a quarter of a page long (I think) when they're typed out. According to Wikipedia, drabbles are exactly a hundred words long in length. They're too short to be considered a story.
Overall, this one-shot is nicely written but there are grammatical errors. Here are some that I've spotted:
1. Since he never succeeded.
- This doesn't look like a complete sentence. It's a sentence fragment. This is what you call a dependent clause because it needs to be supported by another phrase (an independent clause) in order to be a complete sentence. It can be written as a complete sentence when combined with the phrase before it like this: Oishi had even given up getting the hyper acrobatic off the freshman since he never succeeded. It's obvious in the beginning paragraph that this phrase refers to Oishi as the subject.
2. Only two people could, Tezuka and Fuji.
Correction: Only two people could: Tezuka and Fuji.
A colon is used to direct attention toward the matter (i.e. a list).
3. And Inui if he had his juice.
- This is another sentence fragment an actual sentence usually doesn't begin with a conjunction (i.e. and). One way of writing this as a complete sentence is: Inui could've succeeded too if he had his juice with him.
4. the Junior rushed out of the room, soon followed by Kaidoh and Inui.
Correction: The Junior rushed out of the room and was soon followed by Kaidoh and Inui.
- Where a sentence begins, the first letter of the first word to start it is always capitalized. The two phrases are better connected rather than separated with a comma because the two ideas seem to follow a chronological order according to action.
5. Even Tezuka smiled slightly. Though no-one noticed.
Correction: Tezuka even smiled slightly. Though, no-one noticed.
- I rewrite these phrases so that they no longer look like sentence fragments.
6. “Go for it Echizen!”
Correction: “Go for it, Echizen!”
- A comma is needed to separate the said person's name from the command given or any phrase that goes before the name.
7. To everyone’s shock. He hugged the stunned acrobat around his middle.
Correction: To everyone’s shock, he hugged the stunned acrobat around his middle.
- Refer to what I pointed out previously about sentence fragments.
8. Tezuka cleared his throat slightly, blinking his eyes and pointedly ignoring Fuji’s slightly wider smile, aimed in his direction.
Correction: Tezuka cleared his throat slightly, blinked his eyes, and pointedly ignored Fuji’s slightly wider smile aimed in his direction.
9. “…you’re my senpai, it’s disrespectful.”
Correction: “…You’re my senpai. It’s disrespectful.”
- The phrases should be separated into sentences because they're completely different ideas.
This is one cute fic between an upperclassman and his freshman. The ending makes me grin with amusement.
| VickyVicarious chapter 1 . 9/21/2009
This is ADORABLE. And hilarious. And something I could completely see happening. And just AWESOME.
THANK YOU. _
| Khelc-sul Renai chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
*Bends over double, laughing so hard at Ryoma's predicament* For Some reason, I think "Kiku-kun" will win this argument... *giggles*
Well written. Fun read.
| li3en chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
nya! that was so cute! 3