|Reviews for Becoming too visible|
| 6219834 chapter 7 . 1/10/2008
Wow, what a rush of a chapter... one more to go, which is a pity as this was such a great story.
| 6219834 chapter 3 . 1/9/2008
Gruesome, but v cool descritpion. Great story
| 6219834 chapter 2 . 1/9/2008
Great action chapter! I hope those hunters end up the wrong end of a spirit or a shot gun... oh the tension!
| ames 449 chapter 12 . 11/27/2007
I've just sat down and read the whole of this story. I have to say it was very bloody good. I really enjoyed your style of writing, and the amount of description was nice too. I thought the storyline was great and I thought you remained very true to the characters.
One thing I will say though - a wee bit of constructive criticism if you will take it. The parts were Sam is talking out loud to himself in the building were unneccessary and I felt like it ruined the flow of the narrative a little. I mean, I know we all talk to ourselves in real life, but its not great to read in literature. You can tell the reader his thoughts without doing it in such - and I'm sorry to use this word - but a cheesy manner. It felt a little theatrical and there really was no need. The story was strong enough without it (you really are very good at being insightful anyway). For me, personally, it brought an air of immaturity to your writing that was not present anywhere else.
Other than that I really cant fault your work. Like I said before it was a cracking story. Thoroughly enjoyable to read!
| Third Stage chapter 12 . 10/28/2007
this story is one of my favorites! Well written, with an interesting plot line and wonderful characterization! Great stuff!
| Faeith chapter 6 . 10/22/2007
Ah freak... of all things fire now... o.o
| Ghostwriter chapter 12 . 10/11/2007
Awesome job. Catch ya on the flip side.
| Windyfontaine chapter 12 . 9/30/2007
Okay, last chapter, and ooh, off to the hospital. Good thing, those drugs were bad news. Lucky Bobby knew a nice doctor. But aww, Dean shouldn't be beating himself up, although we know he can't help it :) I like Joshua :D He says the right things at the right time, and knows when to keep his mouth shut, lol. Oh! And this: " His brother was here. That’s all he had ever needed to feel safe." Aww. That is so cool, and so true. Loved that. And then you follow it with bonding! Aww again. (I have all these wonderful expressions I want to use but the darned spell checker on this won't let them through so for every little 'aww' string it out for at least five seconds and then you'll get close to how I meant it to sound :)
Hehehe, was reading-princess Samantha, lol. The doc is cool, not minding smuggled food :P Oh good, Rummy is okay too. Aww, now that was a nice satisfying and wonderful end to a good story. I thoroughly enjoyed this, (and the hurt and limp Sam! lol), and am glad you already have another one started :) Thanks once again for giving us a terrific story and for finishing it. Angst, fluff, death, torture, humor and warm fuzzies, all wrapped up in your unique style. Loved this :) Hope you have a wonderful week. Take it easy!
| PsychicWonderKitty chapter 12 . 9/27/2007
Hi Rozzy, just wanted you know I enjoyed your story, as well as your previous ones! I just signed up to this site, so that's why this review is late, but here it is anyway. It was very interesting how you combined the supernatural danger of the ghost with the human danger of the hunters in this story, including that one of them was Dean's friend. Former friend, anyway, LOL. And having one drug the water that Sam drank was a twist that I didn't see coming! Great job again, keep up the good writing!
| Windyfontaine chapter 11 . 9/27/2007
Ah, I meant to be reading a chapter a day till I caught up with your new one, but that hasn't worked out. I'm off this weekend though :) And glad you like my reviews, you may like reading them but I love your replies as well :) So woot, another chapter after this one and then I'm up to the new story, but lets start: "The basement air was musty, tainted by the fungal spores creeping up the walls in a dark stain." Ack! Why? I hate mold. My refrigerator is in the dining room because we had mold in the kitchen and they had to take everything out to clean it up...ah. (Deep breaths) Okay, you couldn't have known that, and it's just a story. I'll keep reading :)
Aww,liked how Sam snuggled up to Dean's jacket. But man, I expected Bobby to be a little more aware. But uh oh, does this mean what I think it does? Hank is getting into Bobby's house throught the basement? Ah! You evil genius :D Ah, so Joshua is in position, maybe he can see Freddie going after Bobby then in the car. And now Dean has alerted him, so they're extra aware. Aha, I knew it, Hank is there. But heh, cobwebs. Right outside my house the spiders seem to like to string them at night so when you walk the dog you almost always step through one-yuck! But I have a feeling webs are going to be the least of Hank's worries once Dean gets through with him :D
Oh, is Hank going to get it? Please? Hmm, guess I need to keep reading. Ah, go Bobby! Stupid Hank didn't check him for a hidden knife, hehehe. Aww, Sam is still drugged, or he'd know better. Holy cow, what an amazing death scene! Go Joshua! Aha, Dean nailed him, but he's still alive. For now.
Rummy! Good puppy! Aww, he shot the dog. Grr. But yay! Justice is served :D (Does dance for joy) Oh that was good, will try and get to the next chapter tomorrow, if not then definitely this weekend. Hope you have a great day!
| Windyfontaine chapter 10 . 9/24/2007
Hi, I was wondering when you were going to post again, thinking hey it's been awhile, and then was checking the site and saw you updated on a new story, and went hmm, and checked my author alerts-and you weren't on it. I could have sworn I had you on alert so I could get notice of new chapters. So I fixed that and now I'm catching up. So, er...sorry? (Hides and hopes the wet noodle doesn't find me.) On the plus side, now I can just read to the end of this and then start your new one :) So hope you forgive a very tardy reviewer, I'll be catching up bit by bit (dunno, I always seem to be catching up, sigh-would have got to this even sooner but had stuff in real life going on-kitchens plus mold are not a good mix).
Now I remember, Sam was going to fly, the poor dog was drugged, Bobby was trapped in his truck and Dean was on the way. Ah okay, they are coming even faster now, good. And Bobby is up there now with Sam-but I think Sam needs his brother. Bobby's talking him down isn't working too well... Ah good, he's got him. But boo, hiss, the bad guys are talking-oh man are they going to get it :) Oh and ooh, shirtless Sam... thank you :) And yay, Dean is there and got him down, and now they know what happened. Ah, that was good. I missed this, love your writing. At least Sam is going to be safe in the basement and the hunters are alert-way different than the high that Hank was hoping for. Really liked this, and will catch up some more later. And sorry again so much for the late review. Hope you have a really good day!
| friendly chapter 12 . 9/14/2007
awesome story.. that was really good...
| gidgetgal9 chapter 12 . 9/14/2007
I have been reading your work but just recently got a FFnet account.
I love your Sam and Dean and this was an awesome story! Can't wait to read more of your work!
| carocali chapter 12 . 9/13/2007
Just can't resist one last go at a limp Sammy, can you? It was brilliant go at that!
I so love the way you write these boys. They are so tortured and love each other so much. Your addition of Joshua is most welcome and there is always room for Bobby!
You had some wonderfully creepy bad guys - both living and dead - that made my skin crawl. And boy did they get theirs in the end!
Thanks for continuing in this forum. You are one of the few writers I'm beyond thrilled to get an alert from! You've mastered the limp and the brotherly love - that's quite an accomplishment!
| Susan82 chapter 12 . 9/13/2007
O, this was a long one!
Opening the chapter with a good ol' dose of Limp!Sam and massively Protective!Dean...sigh Bless you, my dear.
Seeing Dean finally break down just killed me. He can only keep up that tough exterior for so long. I'm glad Joshua was there to help pick up the pieces.
Finally! A proper brother reunion without concussions, bullets and drugs to interfere. I don't think I could've waited much longer. But, believe me, it was worth the wait. And...aw, Dean missed having his baby brother around. Aw! I just love their interactions...one part sentimental, two parts snark.
I also enjoyed Sam & Rummy's reunion at the end of the chapter. Rummy became quite a fun little character in his own right.
Holy crap, I just freakin' loved this story. I dare say it might be your best one yet. Lots of Limp!Sam (yum) and Protective!Dean (again, yum) and very nasty original characters. I'm a bit (ok, a lot) bummed that it's over, but I'll take solace in the fact that I *know* you have another tale just waiting to be uploaded. Yes, that was a massive, not-so-subtle hint.
Superb job, Rozzy!