Reviews for A Twisted Timeline
Random number generator chapter 11 . 10/5/2012
Evils Snape is OK and very in character and may be interesting, humiliated Snape is funny, but ridiculously stupid Snape is neither interesting nor funny.
Random number generator chapter 2 . 10/5/2012
"there was a timeline to distort beyond all visible recognition" I hope.

Mafia? It may be fun.
Rake1810 chapter 4 . 10/3/2012
Dobby 2 Lucius 0. Awesome. I've read a lot of time-travel stories and that doesn't make it into anywhere near enough of them.
FlopsyTheStingyDingo chapter 2 . 10/2/2012
I LOVE how you based Crabbe and Goyle off of the Hunch Bunch... I wonder how many people get the reference though
Mookeypoop chapter 3 . 10/1/2012
After i finish the story i thought to myself "Have they ever wonder why a six year old have a better vocabulary then them and broke someone out of jail"
Guest chapter 11 . 10/1/2012
why is harry so careless?
Passerby chapter 25 . 9/26/2012
Nice story. There is a feeling of it going downhill around the middle, and the whole personality conflict in the 24th chapter left me severely dissapointed, but still I really enjoyed larger part of the story. "Mob idea" is refreshing for me as to many other readers. There was some fics with Harry as a criminal but I haven't seen "mafia boss" one so far.
Not quite sure if I should read a sequel though. The whole "taking main character and kicking him out of the story without warning" part of the ending was demotivating. But maybe i will muster my willpower to at least check sequel up. Anyway, thank you for writing this story!
Bjalf chapter 25 . 9/13/2012
Good story, unique plot, and some nice humour as well.

But hard to read. The writing is sloppy, words are missing, and there are abrupt scene changes without any breaks. Many sentences make no sense at all.

Story starts off well, but starts to deteriorate about half-way. The last chapters are rushed and confusing.
Svenion chapter 21 . 9/3/2012
question: why in the world would 13 year old Harry think he was ready to face voldie?
Svenion chapter 19 . 9/3/2012
contrived plot line much?
The Frau chapter 20 . 8/16/2012
Please read this paragraph and see the confusion : "Enter," hissed Voldemort :::as his spells outside the door signaled an approaching desk::: and one of his Death Eaters entered the room, before he kneeled before his lord. "To your feet, Fluxom."

I know this is a magical world, but an approaching DESK? I have noted many such slip-ups throughout this story, and while they make it hard to read...what with the unfinished sentences and grammar mistakes...I still find this story fun to read! Glad I found it, but I would suggest a Beta next time :) Keep writing,
kingstonavery chapter 25 . 7/28/2012
Hey so I really, really like this story, however I'm going to stop reading here for now because unfortuneately I'm in the mood for something different. I promise, however that I will eventually get back to it. :)
kingstonavery chapter 12 . 7/27/2012
I love it! Great story!
Mug chapter 8 . 7/25/2012
Good, but I don't think child abuse is a big enough crime to warrant the dementor's kiss. The dementor's kiss would be equal to a death sentence in the Muggle world, right? So since child abuse wouldn't result in a death sentence here, it would probably be the same in the wizarding world.
The Admiralty chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
Good story line, however the multitude of spelling & grammatical errors, the many words that were dropped or mis-used, the lack of scene breaks, and the (relitively few) odd little mistakes worked to suck a great deal of the fun out of the story. the best advice I can give would be to find someone willing to beta-read the story, then repost it. However, all that said, it was a delightful tale that I enjoyed reading.
1,313 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »