Reviews for Make Believe
Quandosonosolo chapter 1 . 6/13/2007
I like the way you continued his story. Although it's kinda ironic about something Lilia did, because she actually did do it which you find out in second game, but I'm not sure how she did it because of the reasons you stated. wow, I hope that made some sense, lol. I like this story. It's cool to see how you interpret Rion.
xSapphireLightsx chapter 1 . 6/12/2007
(stares in shock) o_o oh my god...Tao...THAT WAS BLOODY AMAZING!

i mean i can't believe it, you really did this one too. ' i kinda find Wish a little confusing, but with this i could really fix on what was happening.

poor little Rion, i guess he would be still in shock after knowing he's the copy (he was in lots of shock when Cain told XD)good idea with him wanting to kill ihmself at first but deciding not to. ;.; poor fellow he's a lost soul without Lilia

a good fall back for Rion too, if people mistook and thought he was the real Rion then they wouldn't think he's the galerian one.

hm i wonder what happened to Lilia though, didn't the doctors or anyone tell him? i wonder who's he's staying with, ROBOTS BWAHA. i'm sure you'll explain if as the story goes along _

carrying on yay hopefully this'll be a long review XD

haha aw that was so funny with the 3 girls, haha Rion got caught looking at their boobs, shame on you Rion XD

Lilia: T.T Rion how could you

Rion: i was looking at the badge!

Lilia: SURE THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY (runs off crying)

o.o (shakes head) yay he kept his doggie collar, like a cross he has to bear...that and it's a great way to choke him and to take him for walkies XD

Lilia: (attaches lead to his collar) sit

Rion: -.- Lilia get that off me!

Lilia: XD

the only thing i have a slight confusion is how you started it. i think maybe you should have gone just a little back in time with a short scene or scenes explaining how Rion was dead, to alive and kicking.

or a scene with Lilia when she was with in the mushroom tower (i don't know what happened so i can't help there ') but yeah it's easy to explain these simple things at first so readers don't get too confused, and then as the story goes on you open up and explain other things and so forth...*waves arms about* not that i'm telling you off i just want to teach you a few things because from this i can see a huge improvement in your writing! ;.; so d-don't think that i'm mean please wah!

other than i LOVED! this story, you written it very well you've done great in keeping him in character, and i know if you keep practising you'll get better (claps and cheers) you've out done yourself well done,
Angelcain chapter 1 . 6/12/2007