|Reviews for What on earth?|
| Octavia Delitian chapter 5 . 10/27/2007
You're right. Durnik IS a psycho. A brilliant example is the time he chased a Murgo into quicksand, or something similar, watched him sink and felt sorry that he had wasted a valuable horse.
| zotlot chapter 5 . 10/3/2007
durnik is not a psychopath! but i love the ida of Barak being a gay transvestite!
| foxymalon64 chapter 4 . 9/28/2007
hahaha wowow. this is ridiculous. poor confused people! i liked the part with all of the voices haha...just kinda made my day.
| zotlot chapter 4 . 9/27/2007
still hilarious...I love these bks, u dont do u? coz u slag them off a lot
| I'll Be Your Angel chapter 3 . 9/26/2007
ahh this has just made my afternoon. the only big thing with your grammar is that you used "these" when you should have used "this". ahh...a gay Barak...just doesnt seem possible...but then again...hahahahahaha
| I'll Be Your Angel chapter 1 . 9/26/2007
hahahahaha giggle...this is great.
| Lady Whimsy chapter 3 . 9/13/2007
Haha Haha. Hurrah for the luny bin. I love it. Please keep it up.
| zotlot chapter 2 . 9/1/2007
PLEASE write more this is funny if very strange!
| yumichan808 chapter 2 . 6/27/2007
a bit on the wierd side.
you should read it over first... some parts dont' make sense.
| Octavia Delitian chapter 2 . 6/24/2007
About the same as the last chapter, but somewhat improved, I think. Perhaps I got used to it.
I can see why a minotaur would hate the idea of eating cows.
| Octavia Delitian chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
The spelling really needs some attention. The worst mistake, in my opinion, is calling Durnik "Durnick". Other than that there are a lot of things:
"It was a wonderful sunny day. Belgarath sigh again and took her beloved in a fierce hug." - The beginning is in the past tense, but the sentence after that is in the present. Sigh should be sighed in the past tense and sighs in the present. Belgarath is a man, so it's his wife, not "her".
"A furious pounding on the door startle him and the desperate and broken cried that followed them shake her wife awake completely."
My suggestion: "He was startled by a furious pounding at the door. Desperate, broken cries followed and his wife woke up from her nap."
- Belgarath! Oh, Belgarath!.-
Here and forward the dialogues end with ".-" which they shouldn't. They should begin with the "-", or you should use quotation marks.
"I was on the flour" is a confusion of words. Floor is the thing you walk on, while flour is a pancake ingredient.
English is spooky, so these mistakes are easy to make. The story itself seems like a good idea. I'll go on to chapter two.