Reviews for Kindred Spirits
Ylaya chapter 13 . 1/30/2014
This fanfic is nothing short of wonderful and I really got into it, the way you captured Zaknafein is just so... perfect, fitting. Seeing that the last update for this story was uploaded in 2009 I kind of doubt it that you'll even read this but if you do I hope, with all my heart, that you will continue writing it and, possibly, finish it. It hurts to be left hanging like this you know, especially when it simply drives you crazy to learn more about a story as good as this one.
san-san chapter 13 . 10/23/2010
Wow what a great story! Please continue this! It was so easy to get sucked into the story and the characters are great! The Artemis/Zak pairing is better than I anticipated. They are indeed so much much alike - and so beautiful and sensual :) I hope Jarlaxle's plan works out for them. They deserve more happiness. As for the wicked Kimmuriel... Well, he is kind fun. He's soooo sooo very evil. HAHA. I especially like how Jarlaxle enjoys out-thinking him :) Like a sport! Please please please continue this!
Aiqy chapter 13 . 6/1/2010
I only just realized that I never wrote a review here, even after I had discovered that here’s a chapter more than on LE…

So I do it now, just to let you know that there’s still someone out here waiting for you to continue :)

I can’t wait to know what Jarlaxle is planning this time!

~Aiqy (alias Melee)
Fantomefumee chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Okay, usually I'm an awful lurker, and my english is ugly, but I think the whole afternoon I spent reading your fic deserves a comment .

If someone had said me I would love a ZakXEntreri fanfiction, I wouldn't have believed it : I don't really like Entreri, and I despise Zak but... Well... I just love the way you write Zak, and you made me love him...

So... Well, I'm not good at comment, but, just to say, I loved this one, and thanks .
Lessiehanamoray chapter 13 . 8/28/2009
I love your fun orientated Jarlaxle and you did a marvelous job of making me want to smack Drizzt. The fact that Zak didn't means he has more control than he lets on.
amlugwen chapter 13 . 8/20/2009
awesome! again and still :)

Zak behaving like Drizzt, creepy... if only imagination (Artemis has a weird imagination)

yes, Drizzt would have had a heartattack *evil snicker*

oh no, what will they do? but i like the tension you brought into the lovestory now what will they do? there is nothing between surface and underdark - they won't part ways, will they? does Jarlaxle have a plan? (me clueless)

if Zaknafein knew Drizzt is now target of his 'friends' and Jarlaxle has a plan, oh no... again ;9
RonCN chapter 13 . 8/5/2009
I'm so glad to see a new chapter!

Again, I think it is great. I liked the "crisis management" done by our two guys: they can't do fluff, but you still managed to portray a really tender moment by focusing on their determination to be together. And you took the chace to poke some "fun" at Drizzt - Zaknafein trying to live like him, indeed... Highly enjoyable.

My favorite part though must be the "behind the scenes: plotting" You trio of lieutenants is so deliciously devious and twisted and drow, while at the same time being coherent and driven and... and... well, I think you get the point :) I really admire your dark Kimmuriel!

And what can I say about your Jarlaxle? I could almost see him pacing about and then grinning manically while the light bulb went off on his head... It is amusing and it is Jarlaxle through and through, and I am really, really curious to know just what brilliant plot he has come up with now!

Please, keep the story in progress; and thanks for sharing!

RonCN
Neo-anon chapter 13 . 8/1/2009
Absolutely awesome. I can't wait for the next chapter... ohohoho. ;)
Nuitari Aquarius chapter 13 . 7/30/2009
He chuckled and silently congratulated himself on another stroke of genius.

Why do I feel YOU could have said that while writing? :p Smells like a good idea to keep on writing this story .

But that's not the point of my review. I really liked this chapter, for the 'special' relationship between Zaknafein and Artemis is growing stronger; they're not simple rivals anymore. That's really curious about them, but, yeah, they're falling in love. And you make that credible. I mean, Zaknafein and Artemis in love, that's not the easiest scenario ever. At all. So congratulations.

And now, I am really curious about Jarlaxle's plan. What's in his mind?

So... thank you for this damned cliffhanger. Can't wait!

Update soon or you're dead XD.

Nuitari Aquarius
singvogel chapter 13 . 7/29/2009
Gahhah it's finished! And I like it :) I still have no idea how Artemis and Zak could ever overcome the problem of their very different preferences, but maybe I should leave that to Jarlaxle. He seems to have everything in hand. The last two bits had me smiling. It was kinda like: Ah well I have to keep the children occupied, before they can seriously hurt someone.

And I just love Kimmuriel :)
Ziggy Sternenstaub chapter 13 . 7/29/2009
I wasn't expecting this to appear until at least a week or so from now, so let me just say that it

was a delight to see the 'New Chapter' announcement make my inbox this evening! Let's just hope

that I am able to sufficiently evaluate your work. :)

First off I would say that I agree with the length. Ending with Jarlaxle scheming and apparently

arriving at a solution to the myriad problems which becomes clear in this chapter seemed

appropriate. And I'm not just saying that because I really wanted to read more KS. ;)

The writing is smooth, but I would say that the dialogue could have done with a more thorough

beta. I could see that your beta had only given it a quick glance. I'd say that if this happens again

you might want to have another person give it a second look.

Now to the story!

The sun was already rising when Zaknafein sneaked back into the tavern room they had rented

earlier that night.

Aww, you know the proper past tense of 'sneak.' I love you!

“I didn’t expect you to come back,” Artemis said, his back turned to Zaknafein. He sounded

surprisingly awake, as if he hadn‘t slept at all, but at the same time quiet and almost uncaring.

I like that this is cold, but not too cold. An excessively hostile reaction would suggest a level of

hysteria not native to Entreri. That he is already bracing himself for abandonment demonstrates

both his lonely past, but also his strength, his ability to carry on even in the face of potential

heartbreak. And also avoids making him sound like a clingy girl. ;P

Zaknafein flinched in surprise. There was no sarcasm in Artemis’ voice, and the thought that

the assassin really meant his words made him shiver. He didn’t know what to say, so he

remained silent, waiting for Artemis to explain himself.

Nice. Again, we see vulnerability, but quietly, guardedly. Zaknafein is aware that he might have

hurt his lover and dislikes the notion, but he's also unlikely to breakdown any time soon.

"He said exactly what you told me he‘d say.” Zaknafein made a pause, his eyes never leaving

Artemis‘. “It doesn’t change anything about us.”

Nice. The situation is almost completely resolved with just these few words. Nicely reflects the

terse, outwardly stoic nature of both characters.

The drow was by now quite capable of reading Artemis’ often hidden invitations and moved

into the offered embrace. Resting his head against the human’s chest he sighed.

That's just...um. A very, very pretty picture. Zak being cuddled by Artemis. Aw.

(Excuse while I go commit ritualistic suicide for my shame).

“I’m glad to see that he hasn’t lost his principles, but he confuses me. He talks, he behaves like

a human. In a bad way,”

This is a bit of rough dialogue. "In a bad way" sounds very simplistic, child-like. You might

want to go back and re-phrase it.

Artemis snorted, but he tightened his embrace in what could only be described as a possessive

gesture.

This is adorable! (Where did I put my katana, again?)

“I would be surprised if you did. I told you you’re nothing like him.”

Not wanting to confirm nor deny that, Zaknafein simply said, “He was quite appalled that I

won’t stay with him on the surface.”

Interesting how even Zaknafein can have a bit of tact! He knows that he does have at least a few

things in common with Drizzt, so he just lets it slide so as not to upset his lover. I like how

you're showing their rapport, their growing affection, in these small gestures, instead of

descending into mush. Nicely done!

He snickered even more when Zaknafein punched him lightly in the side.

I really, really like this. A nicely masculaine, testosterone-fuelled bit of playful agression. There

should be more of such things in slash. Kudos to you.

“As if I needed my son’s approval. He almost fell over when I said I liked you; he probably

would have died if I had told him all about us.”

Again, this dialogue is very American English colloquial. I like the sentiment, but it should be

stated slightly differently.

“Don’t worry. Since I insisted that I had to keep an eye on you for Jarlaxle he extended that

invitation to you.”

Hee. And how many lemons would I have to eat before my expression approached Drizzt's while

he was extending that invitation?

Artemis couldn’t have been more surprised if Gromph Baenre had asked him to come over for

a cup of tea.

I like this because it makes reference to a comparison relevent within the world of the story. It

grounds us as readers more deeply in the narrative and aids in the suspension of disbelief.

“What about harming him?” Artemis asked nonchalantly, unsurprisingly earning a glare from

Zaknafein.

You're still walking the line between Zaknafein's shock at Drizzt's new life, and his very real

love for his son. It's good that you remind the reader that his affection and concern and both

genuine-despite your own dislike for the character.

“And although he is a curious brat, I doubt that he will check if we really use both of them.

Ahah, a curious brat. And that is exactly how he would remember Drizzt. We must also consider

that Zak still thinks of his son, even if unconsciously, as someone extremely young- if

precocious-even younger than he still is. And in fact possibly might underestimate him-which

could lead to some trouble here.

“You told him that you would return to Menzoberranzan,” he said quietly.

This was the perfect time to bring up this issue. Just as it was starting to look too idyllic for both

of them, the problem of Drizzt becomes real, and now we are confronted with the fact that

neither is comfortable in the other's world! That they have very real problems to face garners

reader sympathy and prevents their union from being too easy, too predictable.

“We could work as mercenaries … There are regions where nobody cares what you are as

long as you get the job done. Where even we could find a challenge or two,” Artemis

suggested, but he knew that it was not what Zaknafein wanted. The drow hated everything about

the surface, the sun, the weather, the noise, the population … Giving him something to do

would not change that.

You worked this reference to the canon future for Jarlaxle and Artemis in nicely. An effective

contrast.

Seeing that Artemis realised this himself Zaknafein did not bother to reply, but simply

embraced him and held him tight.

Again you've effectively demonstrated that both characters are generally silent-and that their

likeness of mind and increasing closeness are able to convey their feelings without the use of

words.

A wonderful little plotting session with the drow back home in Menzoberranzan, and you demonstrate their cleverness by having them expose the weakness in Jarlaxle's instructions. I like how you show their callousness through their conversation-they refer to Zaknafein, Drizzt, and Artemis as things rather than as people.

And ending with the pupper master! Who admittedly might not always have all of his strings in order, but who will no doubt quickly take command once more. I can't wait to see how the plans of Kimmuriel, Rai'gy and Berginyon will unfold, and what Jarlaxle will do about them.

Well done!
Pen-Name-Kitsune-chan chapter 13 . 7/29/2009
Please update soon!
Adia chapter 13 . 7/29/2009
Well, this update just made my morning :) Yay! This was a shorter chapter which was a pity (because I always want more!), but I think it was necessary as it was pulling together a lot of strands needed for the next parts of the story.

The Artemis and Zak scene was rather lovely and I especially like that you brought in some additional conflict into their relationship.

And, I LUV YOU JARLAXLE 3 Hehe, I really, really like that you have him (and Kimmuriel & Co.) plotting away in the background. Especially Jarlaxle since he is playing matchmaker. 3
dlraist chapter 12 . 6/20/2009
Update, please. I love this story. Artemis Entrei was always one of my favorite character's, and when I saw this pairing I just had to read it. The story was really good and I want to read more!
Ziggy Sternenstaub chapter 6 . 2/19/2009
Reviewing chapter six now!

A frantic Zak is a very interesting image. I don't think we've ever yet seen him frantic.

What do you want?" Artemis said with a frown. The assassin had apparently been sleeping, for he was only wearing simple trousers, and his hair was tousled.

You put this picture in for the sheer adorableness factor, and don't even try to deny it! (It is very adorable;P)

He (Zak) bit on his bottom lip...

Not sure if he would do this, even if out of sorts. Seems too much like a tick, and he has too much self-control for that.

Artemis hesitated, probably thinking that Zaknafein was having one of his insane fits,

For not having yet seen one of these insane fits, he is very wary. Jarlaxle's stories must have been quite...colourful. When is he going to get to see one of the aformentioned fits, by the way? I'm longing to read his reaction to Zak being truly violently irrational!

"Are you alright?" Artemis asked

I don't think that Artemis would use such an informal phrase. He would be more likely to say 'Are you well?' I think.

Zaknafein turned around and stared at Artemis, then he grinned...

I like that you're keeping Zak's propensity for merriment. It's one of the things that truly differentiates their demeanours.

Zaknafein seemed embarrassed, but he sat down next to Artemis, earning a bemused scowl from the assassin, who had expected him to sit on the chair rather than on his bed.

Heh. And that love of personal space Artemis has is another one. Zaknafein is an inherently far more sensual creature than he. Despite the fact that the assassin's self-image is based entirely in his physical skills, he does seem at times as though he were very disconnect from his body.

"He just walked in and - I hate it when someone interrupts my bath!"

This is both very funny and very realistic. It precisely reflects the inability that almost all people have to actually speak of traumatising events. That Zak would avoid actually saying what he means to by instead focusing on trivialities is very insightful characterisation.

"What? No! Of course not! I'd never let him!" Zaknafein exclaimed

Agin-this is very clever. I like that both are misinterpreting what the other is saying and making assumptions. Quite 'realistic.' Reminding me of my Anton Chekhov studies, ha.

...the maddening desire to go to Kimmuriel and rip his heart out.

Interesting that in Zak's subconscious this is possible, even if it wasn't when he was actually confronted with Kimmuriel. This is very much as it happens in real life, such as when you think of something witty and clever to say AFTER the confrontation has ended!

A soft smile appeared on his lips when he studied the human for a moment

Those sudden mood shifts will be somewhat difficult for Artemis to orient himself to, I think!

He had always either obeyed the female he had spent the night with, or he had simply taken what he wanted from another male - and that seemed, for some reason, very inappropriate now.

I was reading a story the other day in which Jarlaxle was discussing drow sexual practices with Entreri and mentioned that some males take their partners by force. He goes on to say that he has never done this, which relieves Entreri. I spent some time thinking about which approach-that one or yours-was more likely. I suppose either is possible, but I tend to favour yours because abuse frequently propagates abuse and in a world where 'rape' probably isn't even a real concept, but simply something that happens every day, most people likely wouldn't question it. I suppose some might say that Zak would be different, but frankly, considering his own attitude towards his race, I think he wouldn't care whether his partner were suffering. This would also partially explain why he is acting differently towards Entreri-a killer he might be, but he is also not drow, which makes him far less likely to be a target of Zaknafein's more violent mannerisms.

...halting a second before he leaned forward to kiss him - as tender a kiss as he could manage.

AW. (I had to say it:D)

Artemis hissed, "Stay away."

Oh, Artemis. You're probably the first person ever to refuse a kiss from Zak, hee.

"I thought you might like it," Zaknafein said hesitantly

This is a barrier that certainly transcends the linguistic. This is both a personal and cultural-a total lack of understanding. In fact, the entire first part of this chapter is fascinating precisely because it does focus on those ways in which Zaknafein and Entreri are completely different-and despite their many deep similaries, their differences are many.

The second part of the chapter was highly amusing because we got to see Zaknafein really freak out about Rai-guy, which was delightful. I don't think he'll be entirely happy before he sees this 'traitor male''s head on a platter:D

Great stuff!
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