Reviews for Starcrossed
Arken elf chapter 37 . 11/19
Fantastic, I cry, but I love this fic.
The Fox Familiar chapter 3 . 9/20
Chapters 23 – 37


We have ANOTHER beta that helped you write this. Can’t you write anything by yourself? I guess not, especially since it took you eight years to finish this POS. No matter. I’m undoing it in an hour. So much for all that hard work.

“Erotic squeal of metal on metal” – That doesn’t sound hot. That sounds painful.

“Prowl had been so stupid to give away their secret” – Let’s see. They had sex in a blown out building when they were meant to be taking cover, and obviously their little moans from sex are going to be heard. I’m surprised it took this long for the dunce to get his head set straight.

“How much more stupid could he be?” – I don’t know. He’s been a retard this whole time. I bet he can count all the way to Potato.

The post-note had more interest than the entire story. Yet it seems you’re not intelligent enough to add interest to anything you do.

“It was illogical that it hurt” – Damn straight. Starting to get a headache.

“Prowl never had cause to lose the trust in his friends and subordinates” – You’re seriously asking this right now? He has every reason and every cause, because CounttoPotato bot doesn’t know the meaning of ‘discreet’.

“You used that information to rape me!” – Cosbybot doesn’t want to believe it’s rape and Potatobot never fought back. This is just a miasma of crap.

“Warning: implied rape!” – Oh, dear.

Boo hoo, Prowl and the Twins are almost sold as sex slaves. I did not see that coming. Also: if you have to explain what’s happening in your story in author’s notes so that the readership gets it, they really must be idiots.

“He’s got that rod up his aft” – It’s not the only rod up there, if you get what I mean.

Yet another person beta’ed your work. Yet another useless sparrow to be shot down by my 12-gauge of flames.

You did research on what sort of tanks hold how many gallons yet didn’t do any other research. Wow. Going full retard, eh?

Wellp. Prowl got e-raped by Vertigo. OK.

“Sunstreaker remained beautiful still” – Female centrism.

I expected that Prowl was going to be bargained for information and when that didn’t work, he’d get a virus uploaded in his system. We have the prison and torture cliché, as if that hasn’t been done to death, and is it meant to make me care? Obviously it doesn’t, because these characters are so OOC that it makes me wonder if this just isn’t the author’s kink fink gone horribly wrong. I’m still waiting for the train sex.

“You are so beautiful you know” – Wow. Every villain is a rapist. OK.

“I feel really pushed to the limits of my writing abilities” – You can’t be pushed to something you don’t have. Lol.

Big fight scene, Prowl gets raped, Starscream gets Prowl’s STD (and some other dudes) and they gotta escape before a reactor blows up. Did I miss anything?

“A leg, slung over his thigh, went up to his waist” – Sounds like a contortionist.

“Is it worth all this, Prowl?” – Hmm, they get captured by Neutrals who want to sell them as sex slaves, they get nearly raped, and as soon as they get back more rape begins. It’s a circus festival of rape and Prowl is all too willing to open his legs, get on his knees, and open that mouth to new dimensions.

Jazz is blackmailing Prowl because ‘he just doesn’t understand what he’s getting into’. Talk about being an obsessive asshole. I guess he’s just jealous that Prowl moved on from him, eh?
Shower scene cliché. Always gotta have those.

You squee with reviews? Well I bet I’ll have you squealing like a sow in heat when I get to doing it.

“Let it go” – LET IT GO, LET IT GO

Sideswipe finally confronts Prime about Jazz’s Cosbying of Prowl after he’s dead and Prime is mad because Sideswipe didn’t say anything earlier. Based on how everyone acted in this story, I’m surprised people bat an eye at genocide, FFS.

Prowl did the Farewell Letter cliché and gave Sideswipe a shiny gem. I cry everytime.


“Rainbow coloured Autobot insignia” – IT’S OKAY TO BE GAY REJOICE WITH THE VOICE

Wellp. We got the end. And we got a grave scene, and some flowers. But the real journey is going to start with the final review.

Prepare for the arrival.

This story shouldn’t have made it past ten chapters, yet it made it to thirty-seven. You’ve had, what? Five betas? Doing the editing for this, and none of them are going to tell you what I am going to tell you now.

If Nicolas Sparks had fans that didn’t want to admit they were fans, you’d be one of them. Right from the get-go I knew where this was going to go; I have read and seen so many of these stories that it’s become a bit of an instinct to detect who is going to do what, say what, and become what. In this case, it was a dumb romance that really shouldn’t have had any ground to lie on, yet it did. So, where to begin?

Prowl was ridiculously OOC that it made me wonder if he was Bella Swan. He constantly lets his emotions get in the way – like a woman – can’t resist the touch of his lover, which is repeated dozens of times in this work, and can’t resist the sexy times. Even when blackmailed and raped he’s willing to open his legs five minutes later, which shows that the rape was no big deal. Besides, the entire capture scenario could have been avoided if Prowl had been, you know, logical and didn’t decide to have a threesome in the middle of an abandoned battlefield. Because who does that when you’re in the middle of a war? And what purpose does any of them have, anyways? Information? Yeah, sure, but it’s obvious the Neutrals were too dumb to think of that. They just wanted to use them for sex because they were horny.

Speaking of sex, Sunstreaker can’t reign in his jealousy and gets into fights with everyone. He attacks Springer, his ex that has two more lovers and can’t help but flaunt the D. Sunstreaker is also mad because Sideswipe picked Prowl over him and Sideswipe can’t stop but pull the ‘YOU DATED YOUR EX FOR NINE YEARS WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?’ card, when, you know, he could have asked.

Jazz was also OOC. You want to know why I called him Cosbybot? Because that’s what he was doing. In reality, Jazz isn’t a rapist nor does he even have the inkling of thought to do such a thing. But hey, as the token black dude, he has to rape. Right? Right. Even when Prowl says ‘No’, Jazz is still allowed near him, so that really isn’t rape, is it? And why was Prowl so worried about the affair coming to light when it was blatantly obvious that they were together? If everyone knew Jazz and Prowl were dating, why not Sideswipe and Prowl? Many characters even JOKED about it to others.

So much for the so-called ‘illegal’ fraternization. Prowl doesn’t punish Sideswipe because he needs the sex, when in reality he would be removed of his station. This is an army, but obviously you don’t have a single clue about how it works and resort to pulling things out of your ass like any good fangirl does. Shame on your betas for not pointing out ANY of these horrible characterizations. Does ‘Villian is Bad because he Rapes’ trope not ring hollow to you? Your betas should have caught that. They didn’t. They’re just as lazy and simple as you are.

Overall, this whole work could be summed up as: ‘YOU CAN’T BE NEAR ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU YET I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T LOVE ME SO WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?!’ AKA every single trashy romance, ever.

Your other stories have incest, which shows that you’re either trailer trash or you secretly get off to that, as well as have a cop fetish. Well, dear, it’s not like anyone outside the family is going to get hot and naughty in the sheets anytime soon. One thing about these sex scenes was that they were dry – no boners here – repeated so many times as to cease being hot, and couldn’t even get a zinger in there. So that’s not your forte. In fact, nothing is. You have no skill. It’s baseless and empty and yet people will still praise you for it.

That’s OK. We all wish we could be like Prowl. We can all count to potato just like him, and he can do it with Cosbybot all the way home.
The Fox Familiar chapter 2 . 9/20
Chapters 15 – 22


“This chapter is beckoning for some awesome robo-smexing!” – We’ll see about that.

“Pleasure mixed with nervousness” – Drink.

“He knew many mechs that would jump at the golden warrior” – Good to know that they’re all gay. It’s not like they’re going to start doing the hanky-panky with you anytime soon.

“Have you thought about what would happen if one of us was killed in battle?” – It would be the most interesting point in this story. Come on. I wanna see blood and guts!

“When did Jazz kneel next to the berth?” – To give oral, obviously.

“Could he blame Sunstreaker for wanting to join with Springer?” – Well, yes, considering he doesn’t know whether the guy is alive or not.

“Is it some odd fetish you have?” – I don’t know. You’re the one that likes incest.

“Like those kinks involving mechs and femmes” – Yes, because heterosexuality is SO BAD.
Bluestreak sounds like the Old Spice guy, except that he’s not charming to listen to. In fact, his chapter was next to useless.

Elvenarhcress and blood shifter are both useless. They say they were the ones that pointed out bad characterization, yet obviously they don’t see the picture: EVERYONE is out of character. You should know the characters; you have watched the show. Yet it’s clear that fangirls are just incapable of sticking to logic and common sense. These reviews are warranted, especially since you haven’t improved in your work since 2007. That’s a long time.

You realize that dub-con means Dubious Consent, where one party isn’t sure whether to consent or not, and Non-Consensual means rape. Would you like me to provide the definition for it?

“He didn’t know how to tell Jazz no” – Um. Beheading? Death threats? You know, stuff that doesn’t involve sex? I bet if Prowl was a woman doing this you’d be throwing a hissy fit. It’s okay when males are involved, though.

You’ve got another beta that worked on this, and she, too, was useless. Nothing is worse than having a bad author have a beta that isn’t honest with them. If I was your beta, I’d tell you to scrap this piece of shit. Obviously this never happened and you’re still squeezing out works. I guess we can’t have everything.

“Why do you have to act so stupid?” – I don’t know, why does he? Why does everyone? One of the many wonders of the universe.


Remember, it’s down the river, not across the street.

“Vents hissing in pleasure” – Drink.

‘If It Hadn’t Been For that Menacing Sibling We Would Have Had Sex’ cliché.

My I ask why ‘You’ is capitalized? Oh, I forgot. It’s gotta have that Nicolas Sparks’ level of romance. WE CAN BE TOGETHER, OOO YEAH

“Congratulations are due for finally getting Prowl in the berth” – Way to blow their ‘secret’ romance. Good to see Prowl dating Cosbybot.

So Springer is a grade-A slut, isn’t he? He’s dating Hot Rod and Arcee AND Sunstreaker! Dude knows how to get around. Does he do DP?

“I had to ponder what made the females so special” – They were added to appease feminists, yet it’s mostly feminists who don’t include them at all. Ironic. You add them and they happen to be –ahem- w/hores. But hey, I guess that’s OK considering you got Twincest and rape. We got everything under the Sun here.

Boo-hoo, Prowl doesn’t want sex with Sideswipe! Whatever shall he do? I know! Start a fight with other Autobots because your feelings are hurt! That sounds like a stupendous idea, right?

“You don’t have anything better to do” – In which a character speaks a truth about the author.

“Do you doubt my ability?” – I sure do. What HAVE you done thus far, Prowl?

“If you don’t like him touching you, why are you with him?” – Good question, Ultra Magnus.

“It makes no logical sense” – You don’t say?

“We do not dream, Sideswipe” – Um. He did earlier in this story. Did you forget that?

“Most of the fights never occurred in the vicinity of the red mech” – Explain why the Twins got into the fight with Springer and his company when Sunstreaker attacked Arcee because Springer had moved on. Or is everyone acting like a bipolar, manic depressive woman that didn’t get her candy shipment on time?

“Do you have to hurt me, too?” – Oh, shut up. Sunstreaker got into fights all because he didn’t want his brother to do something AND because his lover pulled a Sparks on him. It’s good to separate them, because lo and behold, no fraternization among the ranks. Optimus is dumb enough not to notice the obvious romance between Prowl and Sideswipe which everyone knows and comments about IN PUBLIC, but hey, it’s love, right? It’s gotta be that irrational High School Musical love.

Prime confronts Sideswipe about illicit orders by abusive authority yet Sideswipe, willing to protect his lover, lies, though it’s blatantly obvious. Is he going to tell Prime about Cosbybot, too?

“Mirage gripped Hound and kissed him senseless” – I guess everyone’s on the gay brigade, eh?

“They could not even mouth the words I love you” – Boo hoo, my optics are lubricating (thank you, Breakdown).

“He never had the chance to say good-bye” – God, the cheese just gets thicker and thicker, doesn’t it? Philly cheese steaks would be overwhelmed. Hell, this story has the consistency of one: little meat, lots of cheese, and thin slices of bread to keep it all together. Oh, and the spice is laid on too thick, meaning that the toilet is going to be the throne for tonight. Too much detail? I don’t think so.

You got ANOTHER beta to help you. I can tell. The change in writing is obvious, but it still doesn’t change the fact that the story is still bad. Nothing will. Because when I get to the end, the only person that will offer any honesty will be me.

You can count on it.
The Fox Familiar chapter 1 . 9/20
Chapters 1 – 14


I knew from the summary that I was going to be reading a bad story. If the slash didn’t tip me off, the ‘you can’t change who you love’ bit did. Jesus. Sounds like a bad Romeo and Juliet up in here, except with no conspiracies or murders. Well, in any case, let’s get this party started.

Blaster hates Madonna? Wow, what an asshole! But to be fair she’s a hag, so Blaster gets a hat tip.

“You’d think it’s been over four million years since we were last together” – Can I get a tray for all that cheese?

“Why couldn’t Vector Sigma let him be soldier material rather than officer?” – Well, it looks like he got that ‘I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU’ memo down to pat. Not even done with the first chapter and we have the passionate kissing.

“Officers didn’t fraternize with soldiers” – Yet Prowl ignores his logic for feeling (a womanly trait) and can’t resist that Lamborghini ass. Mm-mm.

“You want flowers?” – Jesus Christ, woman! This isn’t a bad ‘80s romance flick.

“Angrily attacked the floor” – He’s gonna need a new mop.

“Something was seriously wrong with Prowl” – You don’t say?

“You made quite a fool out of yourself” – Stating the obvious.

“His vision darkened as he imagined his lover...doorwings flared in arousal” – Oh my God. This is really terrible, isn’t it?


Oh, wow, robot rape. Coming from Jazz, that really is something terrible. But isn’t that a bit...stereotypical? I mean the black guy assaulting a cop...oh dear I better not go there because I’m going to have a riot on my hands.


“You might find some plot if you’re looking for it” – Don’t give yourself credit, hun. I know there is no plot.

“Fingers scraped and screeched in desperation” – I didn’t know fingers were chalkboards.

“Wondered what had his lover so disturbed” – It’s the: ‘I LOVE YOU BUT I CAN’T BE NEAR YOU SO STAY AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU cliché.

“Lilt in your voice as you sing his name” – Definitely a female trait. Hell, every word out of Sunstreaker’s mouth just confirms how much female centrism this work has.

“You’re so jealous and possessive!” – Can you blame Sunstreaker? His brother is in a starry-eyed relationship with his senior officer – an offense – that could lead to him seeing prison time. But everyone’s so starry eyed that it makes me think there are fifty Bellas sitting around.

“How did Jazz found out?” – Hmm, it wouldn’t have anything to do with them being touchy-feeling in PUBLIC, would it? People would be complete idiots not to see that they were doing the Olympic 500-metre stretch in the bedroom. Not all of your readers are low-IQ fools, dearie.

“The saboteur had looked in his direction with a jealously possessive grip on Prowl” – Definitely female centrism. It’s like two dudes fighting over one chick to see who she will pick.

“It was all his fault” – Boo hoo. It wasn’t like Sideswipe could have ASKED Prowl who he had sex with earlier. Because asking questions are just SO HARD.

“When you play with fire, you can only get burnt” – Damn right.

“He couldn’t hate Prowl” – He’s been bitching for the last few chapters about how DARE Prowl not tell him about his previous relationship with Jazz even though it was made blatantly obvious, based on your own admission. These people really are slow.

“He hated Sideswipe for being an aft-headed fool that didn’t listen” – Isn’t this how everyone is acting, though?

“If he would have been human he would have cried” – They’re already doing that. Every chapter.

“How can you maintain discipline when you are buddies with the offenders?” – I don’t know. Maybe it’s because Prowl is acting wildly OOC? I think that has something to do with it.

“There weren’t any feelings though, right?” – You ARE joking? You didn’t spend the last thirteen chapter establishing their secret affair only to switch teams and say it never happened. I dare say you don’t even remember what you wrote.

“We’ve gone off on a tangent” – In which a character speaks truth about the story.

This took you a week to make and you didn’t have a storyline for it? Wow. You’re dumber than I thought.

“It was all Jazz’s fault” – Yeah, blame the black guy you racist.

“You’re not going to continue to let him rape you” – I don’t even know why this is in here.

Confirmation of Rape Culture? I guess so. And it’s a black guy doing it, so...I guess he’s Bill Cosby, now?

“There is no other competition” – Dammit. I was planning to get tickets.

“You don’t act like a lovestruck sparkling” – Yes, yes he does. He’s acting like a completely in-over-his-head in-love guy. The one where they turn into illogical fools for a woman not worth it.

“What reason would Sunstreaker have to attack Jazz?” – It’s obvious, isn’t it? Sunstreaker wants to protect his twin and Jazz was Prowl’s former lover, and is a potential rapist, who is surprisingly not punished. I guess he spiked the high-grade before he did the sex, right? Sunstreaker attacked Prowl for the same reason: dating his brother and it should be obvious why he attacked Jazz: to stop the relationship from happening. Yet it seems everyone is oblivious to this and you honestly expect us readers to believe it. Well, luckily I’m here to bring some sense.

“He’s trying to blackmail us” – HAHAH, GET IT? BECAUSE HE’S – okay, I’ll stop.

“...allow us to enjoy this beautiful day” – Dangerously cheesy.

“Prowl hated any kind of public display” – Most of what he has done in the name of courtship has been public. It’s amazing how no one else picked up on it already.

Surprise, surprise. Prowl’s getting hot for his wannabe rapist. Sounds fresh outta 50 Shades.

“Thanks to Taimat for pointing out some bad characterization” – Obviously this guy was too stupid to tell you the ENTIRE STORY has some bad characterization. You know you’ve written a bad story and don’t attract good readers when they don’t point out the obvious. You’re definitely going to get a mouthful from me, sweetheart.
Liz chapter 37 . 7/23
I am sad this is over :( I have been following and celebrating every chapter for years. I will keep my eye out for you for any other works you would gift us with!
Tiamat1972 chapter 36 . 5/15
I know I've told you this before, but it needs to be said again.

Your Prime is a real dick. ;)
phoebe turner chapter 36 . 5/15
I loved it!
Masqueadrift chapter 35 . 4/20
I just thought you should know, you are a terrible person and should feel bad for tearing my heart out and stomping all over it. I don't think I've sobbed so much over a fic in a long /long/ time. So, with that in mind, I masochistically awaiting the next chapter of this emotional nightmare3
phoebe turner chapter 34 . 3/1
Great chapter!
Tiamat1972 chapter 34 . 2/28
Loved it! Only complaint is that it is TOO SHORT!
Uniasus chapter 33 . 2/3
Oh, this was wonderful. I loved seeing Prowl not act so passive in the face of Jazz anymore, good for him. I honestly didn't expect something like that to happen. I was thinking Prowl would resign, and then since he'd be a lower rank than Jazz the twins might twist that against Jazz. But i like this better because it has Prowl finally standing up for himself.
Yorozuya chapter 33 . 2/1

This is so sad, knowing that you already KILLED PROWL OFF. Literally in like, what, a year from this point?!

The feels man, the FEELS
phoebe turner chapter 33 . 2/1
I loved it!
phoebe turner chapter 32 . 1/9
I loved it!
Uniasus chapter 32 . 1/5
I was so super excited when I got the alert in my email. Its been awhile, but this is a great chapter. Im sad to see this is the end of the arc, i know Prowl got better but i wanna see how he got there, but i have been waitjng a long time for that other arc with Jazz to wrap up...
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