Reviews for A Show of Faith
Farla chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
The writing of this is really awkward in places and often seems forced. Many of the sentences seem to be fragments or very oddly worded, sometimes both. You've also got some minor errors - "One pair was steel grey the other black" should probably have a comma, "The paper rustled again, as it was flared open then folded close" is awkward and should end in "closed", and "Bosses" should be "Boss'" each time it appears. Your capitalization is odd, too - capitalizing Boss and Grunt and Rocket, yet not "team rocket boss". And dialogue should be written as "Hello," he said, not "Hello." He said.

The premise of this seems interesting, and your writing has plenty of detail and maturity to it, but the wording problems are pretty bad.