Reviews for The Pain Within
Destineyofme chapter 13 . 12/13/2014
Please continue to write on this story it is really interesting
Archduchess Anastasia chapter 4 . 8/11/2014
should be vampires
2. ?
3. NO
4. ?
cherrie01 chapter 13 . 8/13/2013
bblocher98 chapter 13 . 12/14/2010
Please, please, PLEASE update! awesome story!
Tricia-Bean-Marie23 chapter 13 . 6/14/2010
aww, i love it, you should update this, its really good! hope you do!

Born 2 B A Vampire chapter 1 . 6/4/2010
the thing about bella and the young cullens haveing the same classes but one, well unless alice has a class that is an extra curicular they would have to have 2 clases that arnt the same that way it would be like alice is at science and they are at gym and then they are in science and alice gym, it just makes sence, unless like i said the extra class is an extra curickulare, an then alice would need a guied to get to teh class that she didnt have with bella. And edwards pov you just stoped after that one chapter,

a question, the 3rd person pov is that Jake, and an observation it shouldent be 3rd pov it should be ?pov

ideas, what dose the unknown person see after he brakes down the door, as he should.

grate story, im sorry if my view comes off as harsh or rude or anything like that they are just my observation, good luck with highschool, abd im soory if my review has miss speling
Feenrai chapter 13 . 4/12/2010
Whatever happened to co-writing this story? I hope you get around to updating it's pretty unique. There are quite a few stories with Bella having an abusive boyfriend and/or father, but this not-so-human Aiden definitely adds a twist (especially if he turns out not to be vampire eiter...his eyes aren't red or gold, after all).

I'd like to see who was knocking on the door. I can't make up my mind about who I think is at the door. Angela is the only one that Bella knows, knows...but the line "despite how I feel about her" implies that the person doesn't personally like Bella, which I don't think fits maybe it's Jessica or Lauren, but I think Lauren's too vindictive, and if it was Jessica, why wouldn't she knock and ask for Aiden, knowing she could get him to answer? So I'm not sure...

Anyway, another thing I wanted to say is that since this story has been written over the course of a couple years, and your high school years at that...I can tell as your writing has improved. I'm sure it will be prett interesting to you to look back at someday, and be like "wow, I can really see the change!"

Hope your last year of high school was both fun and productive, and I hope you're able to continue this story at some point, as well as publish the other story you mentioned you were working on...never give up your dreams! :D
BelieveInTheHoundsOfJustice60 chapter 13 . 9/7/2009
PLEASE PLEASE keep going with this story! I think that it's one of the best stories out there.
britt-britt chapter 13 . 8/19/2009
this story is really good and i really want to find out what is going to happen i realy hope that you are going to continue with this story like i said it is really good.
madison chapter 5 . 8/13/2009
Your writing is horrible. :/

Bella's personality is shit and the abuse is not realistic.
Katy Bijak chapter 11 . 8/11/2009
It's Angela! Chapter 9 is in Angela's point of view... I think.
Trewq555 chapter 13 . 8/3/2009
awesome story! :D
Whiskey-Chicks-and-Hell chapter 13 . 7/31/2009
PLEASE update as soon as you can! PLEASE!
MySilentEmoSide chapter 13 . 7/19/2009
this is so good! im glad ur writing it again!
Miyako Mizuki chapter 13 . 7/12/2009
I really loved your story! I feel so bad for Bella, I could rally understand her feelings from the way you described them. The events and such where well thought out, and the plot is genius. I like how you added the character Aiden. Even if he is a *expletive deleted*. Which he certainly is. He should go die in a hole. But it adds to the plot, so I guess that fargin icehole can't die yet. Sigh. Oh well.

I just wanted you to know, I will absolutely be buying your novel at Borders soon. Good Luck,

Peace, Love, And Purple Cows,

~Miyako Mizuki
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