|Reviews for Original story|
| Qoheleth chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
If it's an original story, why did you put it in the Woman in White subcategory? (Or even on this site, instead of on Fictionpress-dot-Com?)
| Chaeramir chapter 2 . 9/16/2007
Did it ever show up when I wrote about the other site in my message? In case it didn't, the website i . c o m . (I think it's managed by the same people who run Fanfic.) Please let me know if that doesn't show up. It's not that I have anything against your story being on fanfic, but I think you could get more readers on the other site, and your story deserves more readers, 'cuz it's really good.
Anyway. About this chapter. I was very good. More detail might be nice, just to make it longer. But it has a nice flow as it is. I'm sorry; I can't really remember who all the characters are, so it's hard for me to comment on them. I may have to read chap 1 again...
Right. Back to the subject. When your people are talking I noticed you always put a period before the last quotation marks. Eg. '"Great." I said.' But generally you would use a comma in that situation ("Great," I said.). You would, howerver, use a period if a new sentence started after the quotes. Eg: '“I am very sorry…that we…had to meet this way.” There, that was decent enough.' I'm not sure if you are aware of that or not, but I thought I just point that out to you.
Hope everything I wrote made sense, 'cuz I know it doesn't always. If you need me to clearify anything feel free to message me. And if you do post this o . C o m please let me know so I can follow it.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Chaeramir chapter 1 . 7/28/2007
odd place to stop the chapter, but I like this story a lot. If it's not based on any story you should probably put it on instead of here. I would certainly read it if you did, cuz this is really good!