|Reviews for Embodiment of Perfection|
| Rroxz chapter 1 . 8/30/2016
It's a shame you hadn't continued this yet the plot seemed like it would of been interesting to read and I was, am looking forward to anything if you so desire to update this. Thank you for writing what you have.
| me3lon chapter 1 . 10/11/2009
Gah! It's already over... Please update! I must read more.
| nwyd chapter 1 . 9/28/2009
plsplspls update soon! i wanna know whats going to happen! 3sasuhina
p.s. will sasuke fall in love with hinata for real?
| hinata2233 chapter 1 . 2/20/2009
Whoa, that was very scientific. I learned something from this, and that was 'life is just a void of neverending begining and ending'.'there are no exceptions, even for the gods themselves'. I think that this story is from a truly intellegent point of veiw. Thank-you for writing this, I feel as though I have learned a great deal. Please keep writing and don't give in to the stupidities of society.
| Moirailis chapter 5 . 11/27/2008
Oh da-yum! Hina's got a backbone! I love it when she gets all macho. Sasuke's screwed, ne? Update soon! :)
| ArmorOfGeddon chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
When was Orochimaru ever been characterized as a misunderstood genius? Even he himself doesn't ever portray himself in that light, not even in Part 1.
He knows he's an evil bastard who wants to become a god and just doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets what he wants. Hell, he's proud of it!
He's never tried to pretend to be anything else, unless it was to convince one of his minions to become loyal to him, in which case he acts like some prohpet or savior giving them purpose. There is a reason he only has greedy scum and socially-deprived outcasts for minions. It's because they are the only ones dumb (or naive) enough to follow him.
Even his whole, "I want all the knowledge in the world" spiel is a just a smokescreen for the fact that he's a glorified serial killer on a power trip and he wants to continue said power trip forever. He doesn't care about knowledge beyond the fact that it makes him more powerful and gives him more justification to hurt others and control them.
He actually fits the classic psych profile of an intellectual serial killer/rapist. It's just that he also has the power of a monster, the genius of a mad scientists, and the charisma of a cult leader to back it all up. But in the end, he's still just a glorified serial killer, its just that experimentation and power-mongering are his ritualistic fetish.
He's always been a cliched villain. Even in Part 1 it was quickly revealed that he wasn't even attacking Konoha for any real purpose other than revenge and wanting to make people's lives miserable for fun (he admitted as such to Sarutobi)... completely blowing his misunderstood genius smokescreen away.
You want to see a misunderstood genius-type villain? Go look at Kagato from Tenchi Muyo. Man was the epitome of the cold, ruthless genius, and yet still had class in spades (something Orochimaru is notoriously lacking in for all his posturing).
| LadyTeacups chapter 5 . 3/9/2008
God! Where has this fic been all my life? I love you-long chapters and impecable grammar...as for ideas,well you could have Orochimaru catch Hinata before she has the chance to go to Tsunade...cuz if she does turn Sasuke in I have know idea how they would be able to interact if he was arrested,but then again this is only my opinion. After that I suppose Orochimaru would take this opportunity to abduct Hinata...which would -hopefully-
ensue some more SasuHina moments. Cuz I don't think Hina-chan would make a baby without knowing Sasuke alittle more.
Yet you're not writting romance so as for adventure/angst-y stuff you got going...um you could send Naruto and a gang of others after them? Then while that happens,good old conniving Orochimaru could-how to word this...uh...break Hinata by exploiting her insecurities and the fact that Naruto will never love her cause all he sees is Sakura. Yeah...I think I'm done...
So if you like my ideas use them-if not...hey I tried! It would be so bad if a great fic like this was not finished! So you have to update-I need to know what happens! X3
| Madam Grey chapter 5 . 2/3/2008
This story is so good! I found the beginning really interesting, I loved how you went deep into Orochimaru's thoughts and really told us how you want us to think he thinks, and it paved the way for the plot (which is very interesting, btw).
Also your take on Sasuke is... I suppose slightly different. I like how you shine him in the light of being a bit physically weak (it makes him seem more human when he chakra drains) and how you addressed his issues and insecurities. I've always thought Sasuke would be insecure, so I'm glad you addressed it.
The genjutsu in chapter 2 was great. xD It just had this Orochimaru-esque sense to it. And the torture he used on Kurenai was interesting, it seemed to me that it was a bit of a truth sereum? I'm actually kind of curious to see the penatly dealt on Kiba (and Hinata, I suppose) for running into the cave when Kurenai told them not too :p
Anyway, I really liked you're battle scenes as well... they were very clear and interesting to read D Not too much powerplay or sue!power. I liked how Sasuke's chakra depeltion played a role D. With regards to the Kyuubi part, I liked how you brought up the idea of what immortality really is, and Orochimaru's views. I also loved how you included the Law of conversion of energy and elaborated a bit on that. I'm really curious to see where Orochimaru goes with this... and his reincarnation *cackles*.
The end of the fifth chapter was very interesting... I liked how you had Sasuke /try/ to be like Naruto. It's true that they are polar opposites... but I was just sightly surprised that he told her his inner feelings... although I get the feeling that Sasuke is trying to, I suppose, create a bit of a bond. I liked how Hinata came out of her reviver, but was lost in it for a moment.
As for suggestions, part of me doesn't want Sasuke to go to the Hokage... and by some maricous chance escape xD but being more realistic, I think I'd like to see Sasuke brought in to Tsuande. And I'm assuming Jirayia and Naruto would return soon (because of the Orochimaru encounter), so perhaps playing with Naruto's feelings for the avenger... such as not wanting him locked away (but then again he did kill a Konoha ninja :/). I suppose you could focus on Orochimaru a bit more, he could some how rescue Sasuke... xD and it would set his plans back. Possibly.
I really hope you do continue with this story, it's very interesting, and I like the long chapters too (which is why I have such a long review D8). D I look forward to seeing an update
| EVision chapter 5 . 12/16/2007
Can't wait for the next chapter. err, I have the feeling that Sasuke's character is kinda weak here... I expected him to be oh well, he should be able not to care his identify being found out or something. no hesitation nor too much thinking. but don't mind me. this fic is GREAT! I want you to update sooner XD
| EVision chapter 4 . 12/16/2007
Oh no, i'm going to the last chapter now... wish more chapters to read...
*clicks the last chapter* ;_;
| EVision chapter 3 . 12/16/2007
man, it's absolutely an outstanding fic :O
| EVision chapter 2 . 12/16/2007
heh, this is awesome. glad to find this fic :D
| Shiore Yashagoro chapter 5 . 10/6/2007
Emo Naruto? That's something that simply cannot exist in any time-space. It's a small wonder Hinata didn't figure it out sooner. I figured it out the second you mentioned Naruto WITHOUT Jiraiya walking the streets. I must say, I really do love this story. I really do hope you update soon, however...
I have some elementary advice for you before I conclude this review of your story. Firstly, FOUR tails is as much power as Naruto can handle without dying. Five would simply kill him. Six tails would utterly obliterate the kid. Naruto would (for all intents and purposes) be completely wiped off the face of the Universe. Four tail's worth is already enough to burn his flesh of of him and make him bleed from every pore. If he suddenly let loose six tails, he'd doubtlessly disintegrate, or something along those lines.
Secondly, Orochimaru's Grass Cutter sword can cut through ANYTHING. The only way to avoid being cut up is to not get cut at all. It's a weapon akin to a Lightsaber. Treat it as such.
Thirdly, in the Naruto Universe, there's something called a "chakra signature" that's unique to an individual. It's like a fingerprint, smell or retinal in its properties. Even if Sasuke had henge'd flawlessly, any ninja above Genin level should be able to tell instantly that it's Sasuke and not an ANBU.
Fourthly, NEVER, NEVER NEVER use an "s" to pluralize a Japanese term. Their language works very differently from ours. They never add "s" for plurals NOR do they apply "s" to make things plural. "Genin" should read as "Genin" in both singular and plural. No "Genins", "Jounins" or "Ninjas", okay?
Also, what of the "seals" Orochimaru showed Sasuke with the use of the "Water Moon" boy's corpse? Are you going to elaborate on that? I'm curious.
Another small note is that the term "anyways" does not exist. It's "anyway" no matter how you tweak it. The only reason I even mentioned it was due to the fact that you had made the same mistake several times in a row, so I thought I'd just set the record straight.
All-in-all, a well-written piece of fanfiction and a joy to read. My marks are as follows:
Style of Writing: 7
Spelling & Grammar: 6
Enjoyment Factor: 8
Overall Rating: 8
Well done! I hope to see more of this story in the future! Until then, this has been "The Dictator." Over and out!
| Zarola chapter 5 . 9/17/2007
Your story is amazing. Orochimaru is so in character. But for some odd reason the scene with Orochimaru and Jiraya talking together made me laugh. It could be that I'm just wierd though lol.
P.S. not to say that the other characters aren't in character. ;D
| hinataheir chapter 5 . 9/16/2007
WAY to muck action, it wouldn't be suprising if you were losing reveiws becuase of stalls