|Reviews for The Legend of Zelda: Land of My Dreams|
| pacificuser chapter 4 . 9/12/2008
| thebladeofchaos chapter 33 . 5/16/2008
cant wait till your next zelda tale
| Kouta Aburame chapter 7 . 2/9/2008
Kouta again with a few helpful pointers.
Your descriptions are thorough, but you make the points too obvious. Here's an example
"The sword went all the way through the creature’s body, killing it instantly as its bodily fluids started flowing from the wound. Jonathan then pulled the sword out of its body and sheathed it again as the flow of fluid from the creature’s body quickly slowed to a trickle."
You use the word body three times in this section. Using the same vocabulary repetitively can make a point too obvious and therefore, difficult to read.
You seem to know a little about archery but here's a plot hole I picked up. You said when the bow was in the chest, it was already strung. Isn't it supposed to be bad for the bow if you leave it strung all the time? It warps the wood and ruins the arrows accuracy.
Your story is interesting, it sounds like a mixture of a real-life crossover, and a OOT novelization. I'll keep reading.
I hope you can read my story "The Passage of Time" and leave a review. I would gladly appreciate your time and attention.
| Kouta Aburame chapter 5 . 2/8/2008
Sword training exercises. Always a great detail too add. I hate it when people automatically know how to use a sword the moment they get one, that just isn't realistic.
You have a few off chapters here but the plot is interesting. I'll be reading, however long it might take. I'll save the critique for a later review.
| The Silverdark Knight chapter 33 . 2/4/2008
Perfect... I hope that you will be posting these next stories soon. Each is tantalizing, though I will admit that the LoZ is the one I'm more interested in.
| Infernal Flame Zero chapter 33 . 2/3/2008
The sequel is coming in 2009? I have to wait a year?... i hope i dont forget and in case i do, and u post the story, send me a pm, it would be very much appreciated. Oh and wat i meant by printing out one of ur chapters and taking it to school is that I usually finish my work fast and then i usually sit on my desk wit nothing to do. I took ur story with me so i could read and keep myself entertained btw, u should totally read my story, it is akwardly similar to urs somewhat except the characters are still teenagers
| Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 33 . 2/2/2008
A great ending to a great story. All I have to say is that little tidbit into Dark Apprentice. I am really looking forward to reading that one now. Congrats on the wonderful story.
| SPark681 chapter 33 . 2/1/2008
Great chapter have read your little sneak peak about the future zelda story and I'm really looking forward. The Harry Potter one interests me as well though I am a bit behind on the harry potter series. Anyways great story as always and keep up the good work!
| Infernal Flame Zero chapter 32 . 1/26/2008
Damn dude, i cant beleive its over. Its a huge relief that this story is a trilogy with more to come I seriously loved this story, i even printed out a chapter and took it with me so i could read it in school, yes i liked it that much lol. Anyway, great job, i could really tell the improvement in the grammar. Till next time!
| Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 32 . 1/26/2008
As always, well written, well written. This was a great way to end this story and by far an excellant way to end a fanfiction of this magnitude. I really can't wait for the next part of the trilogy to appear.
Keep on writing like this and I will continue to read.
| The Silverdark Knight chapter 32 . 1/25/2008
I read, I enjoyed, and now I review...
You crafted another fine chapter. Orizon, Zelda, and Jonathan played their parts perfectly. Alazon and Eleza, though, felt a little bit stiff. Probably because I'm not so used to the two of them-Eleza especially, since she was just revived. And you gave a decent method for Jonathan to discover who Shiek really was.
All in all, a damn good chapter.
| Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 31 . 1/23/2008
Again, great chapter. I hope to be able to read the forthcoming chapters as they are submitted. Great story, keep it up!
| SPark681 chapter 31 . 1/18/2008
Love how you leave us guessing what is gonna happen, can't wait to see what awaits Jonathan on the other side of the doors. As always keep up the good work!
| Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 16 . 1/14/2008
This has to be one of the better chapters that I have read in a Zelda fanfiction. You have completely enveloped the reader into the story as well as progressing it along at such a rate to provide the most amount of detail and desire that the reader is looking for.
Just with how you are progressing in writing, as I have noticed in this story, I can not wait to read the next, forthcoming chapters...
| The Silverdark Knight chapter 30 . 1/14/2008
Sorry for being out of sight for a while. Vacations are...annoying without a connection. So, I read your chapters, and I find that it pushes the line on the M rating. A little more detail, and I would have called for it.
Anyway, I'm surprised that it took Jonathan so long to figure out that Shiek was Zelda. He always did seem to know more than he let on.
Very good work. (As always.)