|Reviews for Repercussions|
| Roteki chapter 18 . 7/8/2008
Being "prepared for a beating" won't make it any less painful you know?
Your story is good, chapters are long, updates are rather frequent and all of the important characters are somehow involved into the most important events - big plus.
I hate Keitaro/Naru pairing for reasons which were, more or less, already covered in your story. While I don't dislike Keitaro/Mutsumi I feel it's kinda forced here. Keitaro was all shaken up, nervous, stressed, hadn't had any good rest in close to 2 days and suddenly he proclaims his 'love' for Mutsumi, just because she cried after his misuse of words, or forgetfulness. I'd rather go with Keitaro/Motoko here (not forced and goes smoothly with plot developed so far), but you are the author so I won't tell you what to write, especially considering that I haven't written anything significant myself.
You know what? While I realise it'd be bad for Keitaro, I'd like for something lethal to happen to Mutsumi in the near future. Although I like her persona (ha, picture her fainting in bed during the 'main course') I don't see Keitaro being with her in your story. It's not a perfect option, as her death/coma would probably isolate/prevent Keitaro from getting involved with other girls (guilt, sadness, losing someone loved, etc.), but it has its uses. On the other hand, LH without romance would be kinda pointless so Keitaro would have to move on pretty fast which would be questionable at best, meaning that most likely my idea won't see any daylight soon.
Update soon! Don't keep people who appreciate your work waiting ;p.
btw. I still hope he'll somehow end up with Motoko in the end
| George Mathew chapter 18 . 7/6/2008
Hey Kei/Mut Pairing will be not too good as the girl faints almost Keep up the story its gettin better so UPDATE SOON.
| Nederbird chapter 18 . 7/5/2008
Bravo! *Nederbird claps his hands*
Your story has been my absolute favourite since I first found it and it has brought me entertainment in times when nothing else could, qualitative fan-fiction at its best I say! During the time I've been able to notice only a few mistakes, most of which are easily ignored and forgiven. The only one on which stopped me for some time was this little passage and the near-beginning of this latest chapter:
"“Imoutosan, what are you…”
“Will you not join me, Oneechan?” Tsuruko remarked over her shoulder, voice betraying nothing."
I believe this to be nothing more than a mere mistake, since I see you've used them in their correct situations in other places throughout the same text.
On your decision to hook Keitaro up with Mutsumi I can't do more than agreewith you. It's not that I dislike the canon NaruKeitaro solution, but rather out of the pity I felt for the poor woman ever since I finished reading the manga. I mean, considering Keitaro's flashback dreams Mutstumi actually did give him a peck on the cheek, which I take was some sort of infantile sign of love. Having harboured the same feeling up until their unlikely reunion and onward, I just felt so sorry for her that she'd clung to him for possibly 20 years and see him "stolen" by her best friend.
Your solution was a good one and it was carried out in a pleasing manner also. A little fast but good nevertheless, you succesfully managed to build up some suspense before the actual confession, which still came as a bit of a shock even if it was expected. Brilliant!
I can't wait to see what plans you have for the rest of this story, thus I eagerly yet patiently await the next installment of this wonderful fic. Éljen!
Med Vänligaste Hälsningar, Nederbörd.
| Bates23 chapter 18 . 7/2/2008
It was bound to happen.
| HiroshimaNagasaki chapter 2 . 7/2/2008
"It's okay Naru-san, no need to get me anything. I wasn't expecting much, my birthday is so close to Christmas anyway.”
Keitaro doesn't call Naru with -san. From the beginning it was Naru or Narusegawa, gradually it may become Naru-chan. Surely Keitaro not so oblivious. He knows full well Naru's age and when not in fear treats her as his younger. The only failing it this mode is that he allows her to scream at him and beat him, and that is all. He just wasn't popular in school and fearful and uncertain with girls from which he expects judgement on himself as a man, and that is all. In fact, he is rather observant and reflective.
“Dunno, Naru. Long enough, by the sound of things.” Sensing her friend beginning to panic, Mitsune placed a gentle palm on Naru's knee. “But I think that the apologise-or-not decision has kinda been made.”
No way Keitaro could say that. You make him all-too-innocent manipulative bastard here, but he is not. He'd rather knew full impact of such words, and he's not that bitter. He genuinely cares about Naru. Even if such words came to his mind, he'd throw them off as too cruel. His main priority in this situation would be minimizing Naru's pain and discomfort, with possible second wailing in pity, but that latter not obligatory. In the beginning of LH story it surely would, but after these two years he probaly grew up a little.
| Moonbeam chapter 18 . 6/29/2008
. . . Please forgive me for my retarded review from last time. It was really meant to be a helpful suggestion. orz I haven't looked at any of the reviews since then, but if I have offended you or anyone else, please feel free to direct all flames at me.
As for the story, heh, Motoko's gained guts against her sister. And yay for Su finally getting her own POV section.
Poor Mitsune; she's the one I feel the most sorry for right now, letting her life become such a mess.
As for the confession at the end . . . it was sweet. Very sweet, although during my first readthrough it felt abrupt.
| Pryce69 chapter 18 . 6/27/2008
YES ! i was hoping for this one he finally chose some one. Don't listen to these jackoff's telling you otherwise of the pairing you chose.
I am personally pleased with the outcome, if anyone truly deserved Keitaro it was mitsumi they have such a good relationship be it past, present and future and exellent chemistry its hard not to see them together, a very happy ending to a very happy reader.
Stopping now would truly be a crime and one that would make a sad panda.
Keep up the writing :D and looking forward to next chapter
| Fomori chapter 18 . 6/23/2008
Hey, you haven't gotten rid of me yet!
And as for your beating, it will be postponed as long as you continue / finish this fic. Cliffhangers are good as long as their not overdone (you haven't so far), and the biggest thing that drives me insane is people not finishing a fanfic when it's started out soo good.
Anyway, keep up the good work and I'll keep reading it!
| HarimaHige chapter 18 . 6/22/2008
As i wrote you this before, i say it twice. This is a fantastic story. Everybody in this story is important and everyone of them has a part in Keis troubled life. Im not happy with the paring. Like the others its not because i dont like her, its because it feels so forced. Kei has to much on his mind to make such an important decision. I think he feels guilty torward mutsumi. Like one of my reviewer friend told you before, there is a great opening for a Kei/Motoko paring. From my view of point she is the only one which dont force Kei to a decision. She made a decision and she dont burden Kei with it. Well, not until now. Well the paring is your decision and its fine with me but the actual paring feels forced. Great job and update soon. Thanks
| Al chapter 18 . 6/22/2008
Heh. I've actually always been on the fence with regards to this pairing. It's the one that makes the most sense and one that I'm fond of but at the same time I like Keitaro/Motoko a lot too. Anyway, point is, I'm fine with either so no problems here.
As for the chapter in general, I really liked the feel of certain scenes, particularly the last one. The mood, for lack of a better word, was really well done. I wish I was half as good as you are at creating scenes like that.
| RandomReview chapter 18 . 6/21/2008
w00t the pairing I was rooting for way back in Chapter 1 finally came to fruition! xD
(Although as the story went on, Motoko and Shinobu joined the frey)
You should fix the whole 'imoutosan' and 'oneesan' thing, you messed it up during the beginning of the chapter.
That's all, keep it up and end it with a bang!
| Zenosyke chapter 18 . 6/20/2008
first things first *begins dancing* do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! well...maybe its too soon for that, but i'm still happy. mutsumi deserves keitaro, plain and simple...this may cause some serious complications though. what now motoko? time to put your conviction to the test.
| Tezza1502 chapter 18 . 6/20/2008
My oh my. You seem to have thrown a cat in amongst the pigeons here, from what I've read in the reviews. I was surprised at the low level of animosity towards a Kei/Mut pairing. Ah well, no pleasing everyone, is there. Just as long as you are happy with the way things come out, the rest will fall into place.
However, when I was reading the last part of this chapter, I kept hearing a 'but' while Keitaro was talking of his feelings. All he has admitted to her is that he cares about her. Which has been kinda obvious since the start. Remember, it hasn't been that long since his heart was shredded. (Plus his talk with Shinobu. Didn't he promise her first dibs? Or is that another story I'm thinking of?) And despite her inviting him into her room for the night, who says something has to happen. Sorry Nodoka, but I'm not buying into such a neat finish just yet. Plus, what if Keitaro finds out about Mutsumi's gentle nudging of the events of that night? At the very least, it'll cause Mutsumi some sleepless nights!
As for Motoko, well, while it seemed to be pointing in that direction, I'm not sure that Keitaro would want an indentured servant for a girlfriend. By that I mean she is still carrying around a lot of guilt over her past actions, so any relationship between them would have to wait until she got her head screwed on straight. Which wouldn't be fair to Kei.
On to other things...
Motoko's conversation with Turuko was interesting. In the Manga, all Tsuruko ever wanted her sister to do was to make a decision and follow it with all her heart. While the same seems to hold true here, Tsuruko has to decide whether to let Motoko's choice happen, now that it is going to run contra to her 'fate' as the Heir. It was nice to see Motoko holding her own in a conversation with Tsuruko, though. Very nice indeed.
And Su. Su Su Su. She has her own crossroads coming up. While not a core part of the story, (At least as far as I can see right now.) her begining to grow up and realise that there IS more to inventing than how much colateral damage you can create with your inventions is a nice sidebar to the main plot.
And Mitsune's back with the living. Goody. Hopefully her moment of clarity had occured andf she begins to pull herself together.
Yep, just another fine chapter of a great story. T
| Fanf1cFan chapter 18 . 6/19/2008
Keitaro can't make all of the girls happy, and you can't make all of the readers happy, particularly those who judge a fic by who gets whom. Aside from that consideration, you continue to produce an engrossing story peopled by characters you make seemingly real and alive. Need I say that the anime and manga fall far short in that? It's your story; you made your decision, and are allowing life to move on. Wait, you're the author. _You_ have to make their lives move on. So. I await your next chapter to see how you do it. Most of us are still out here wanting more.
| Xujhan chapter 18 . 6/19/2008
I'll admit I'm a tad disappointed with this pairing, though not because you did a poor job of it. Definitely not surprised; every time Mutsumi had a little "woe is me" moment, it became more obvious where this story was headed. Still, a perfectly fine Kei/Mut story.
What makes me sad though is that out of every Love Hina story I've read, you've done by far the best job of setting up a Keitaro/Motoko romance. As others have said, it's easy to make a good Kei/Mut romance, but a part of that I think is that it's equally hard to make a stellar one. I think you had the potential for a stellar Kei/Mot story here.
That said, even as Kei/Mut it's still a great story; just one I don't think will ever quite reach its full potential. I definitely look forward to reading more though. )