|Reviews for Flames|
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/31/2014
That's five words
| ladybrin chapter 1 . 2/28/2012
this is very good- i am definitely going to read more of your Tt- bb and rae fics
| ElphieYo chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
aw so cute yet sad..hehe thats 5 words just thought i would mention that heeh but still cute!
| Stellar Rose chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
(Raven awoke a few minutes later and smiled up at Beast Boy’s sleeping form. She snuggled closer to him and whispered four words.
“I love you too, Gar.")
The last sentence is five words,if I counted correctly...Odd
| BadWolfBitca chapter 1 . 6/27/2007
that was pretty gud, really sweet. i read the reviews and saw wut Flame Rising wrote. don't listen to him/her. ithought ur story was pretty well writen. keep it up
| Gem W chapter 1 . 6/27/2007
Well, let's see...
This is a nice idea. The ending is cute. I'm not a big fan of the idea of BB's parents torturing him, but hey, that's just my opinion and it's not really the point.
As others have pointed out there are some spelling and grammar issues, and the story is very rushed. In the paragraph about Beast Boy falling into the ice - that's a big moment in the story. There should have been more time spent on it. I barely realized what had happened until a couple sentences later.
Oh, and if I may say so, there's a very rude review here that you may have noticed. I'd just like to remind that person that reviews are for constructive criticism. All he/she did was flame, and that's not the kind of thing I would tolerate. Don't take his/her words personally. He/she obviously has some issues of his/her own to work out.
All in all, just spend a little more time with development and you have a pretty good story.
| Agent of the Divine One chapter 1 . 6/26/2007
Aw! so cute! _ I loved it!
| DemonInTheRain chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
Great idea for a story, but there were a few problems. A few spelling and grammer. My main problem was that it was a bit rushed. Next time slow down and give more detail about the situations.
| Kevorkian chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
M. All in all, not too bad of an idea, and your spelling is superb, but it could use some improvement: most notably the grammar in the beginning. It, like the story in general, is rushed, and needs to be slowed down. Don't be afraid to write more, and write more slowly; as it is, it seems like you were trying to write it as fast as possible, or something.
For example, take the following line:
[ “Hey guys how long was I- but then he stopped speaking when he realized he wasn’t wearing any clothing. His lips tightened into a firm line. “Leave.” ]
It's just too rushed. I would rephrase it, and lengthen that whole sentence into a paragraph, like so:
"Hey guys, how long was I- " he stopped speaking when he realized that his chest was bare. He hadn't wanted this to happen, not like this, not in front of...her. He knew it had been inevitable, but he had hoped for more time. He compressed his lips into a firm line. "Leave."