|Reviews for Torture of the Soul AC|
| koreanpotter chapter 7 . 7/22/2013
You did very well :D
| Infinity Greenleaf chapter 7 . 7/5/2010
Aside from the sudden urge ti strangle and kill a certain elf, I loved this. As always, Kimberleg write so well. So descriptive, as all her stories, I felt I was actually at Helm's Deep. Once I read the remainder of the story, I realized that our favorite elf was truly sorry for his "misdeeds" and forgave him when Anie did. I was even happy when at the end for their "blessing" and I actually cried because that loving moment touched me so much. Great work, Kim! That's why you're up there with Tolkien, Anne Rice and Stephen King as one of my favorite authors. :)
| Ukitsu43 chapter 7 . 2/13/2010
I favorited the story for two reasons. One was to finish reading it before I reviewed. The other was because...well, frankly, I have a fetish for rape of all kinds. Don't judge me. But that is neither here nor there.
It started off kind of confusingly. There was some random Elf chick out of left feild and no one seemed to stop her from joining the battle. What makes your elleth so above that cultural standard? And for that matter, I would appreciate knowing what in the heck Anié means?
For one, her name sounds like a dialect of Quenya or perhaps Teleri. Which isn't correct for the given age because Sindarin had become the standard elvish tongue. And moreover, I find her sharacter unbelievable.
Elves tended not to meddle in the affairs of Men. And granting that this elleth had the will, what makes her more suitable than another to do it? Why would she go into battle to defend a mate who JUST raped her? Would you? Albeit, Elves mate for life, no Elf would survive that level of heartache. She would die and go to Mandos and probably want nothing more to do with Legolas. Not to mention, the Valar hold rapists in pretty low esteem. Just read about Eöl and Aredhel.
With the rape of his wife *because Elves hold themselves as married to the one they have sex with*, you have just made Legolas into Eöl 2.
Why does Anié forgive him so quickly? Is it because they are bound until the breaking of Arda, or because throught the bonding she can tell that he is truely remorseful? Case number two seems more likely. But even if you take out the word Elves and replace it with Men, their love seems fragile and shallow at best. What self-respecting woman would take back the man who raped her? Not many.
You even go so far as to say that they have sex almost immediatley after the fact. Do you have any idea what it is like to be sexually violated? It is one of the most difficult things to recover from EVER. That she would both forgive and have sex with the partner who just scarred her for life either speaks volumes to her love or her stupidity. Either is not a good thing. Love doesn't hurt.
I also saw something about the best sex of their lives. I seriously hope that you are not implying that they have had multiple partners, which is something Elves will never do, for resons aforementioned.
And I suppose you want to know why I am being so harsh. It is three things. I want you to grow as a writer and think outside the box. If you read more about thee canon universe, you'd write better stories on it. Secondly, I believe that you have the potential to make the improvements, so I am bothering to give my 2 cents. And thirdly, because *in this particular genre* I have had first hand exprience to said trauma. And it isn't a walk in the park.
I hope you don't view this as flaming, I will never flame you, I did however concrit your work. I will not be a stranger to your work and I wish that your literary carer florishes.
| Freddie23 chapter 7 . 3/31/2009
'interesting' is my new fav word for your fics. i was a little confused as to whether to think of Legolas as bad or good but of course he triumphed in the end and it all worked out well enough, right?
i really admire your different characterisations of legolas in all your different stories, showing different sides of him every time. and as ever you bring a nice amount of legolas angst to make it even better.
thanks for another great story
| Clutter-Buck chapter 7 . 1/3/2009
This chapter was very well written and very cute. That's how it is with me and my boyfriend; we wrestle until I say "ow" then he's all over me, "What did I do?" "Are you okay?" "I'm sorry..."
Very adorable. I can see how Legolas is still struggling with the guilt and how he is learning to deal with that.
And thus concludes our story! I would very much like a sequel. :D
I think I'm gonna go review the chapters that are different in the other one.
| Clutter-Buck chapter 6 . 1/3/2009
Well... even if she could survive that, how could she be completely healed in five days? Maybe, make the wound less serious, and the healing time longer...
I liked the concept when she forgave him, then showed him herself naked. "Calm yourself." It was very nice. It was sweet and romantic at the same time.
| Clutter-Buck chapter 5 . 1/3/2009
Okay, first off, you use the word corpses a lot. Try using some different words.
Also, I don't want to be mean, but how could she have survived a boulder crushing everything but her head and feet? It's just too out there, even for Tolkien...
It is very well written, though.
| Clutter-Buck chapter 4 . 1/3/2009
I'm back. Remember me? Ha! Sorry it took so long... I meant to come back to this sooner, but I've become unbelievably busy!
So, anyway, the only thing I can see for this chapter is for it to be a but longer. But I'm one to talk. I seriously SUCK at writing battle scenes of any kind. :D So I completely understand if that is the case.
| Clutter-Buck chapter 3 . 12/1/2008
Alrighty! There's not much to say about this chapter. I wanted to mention in the beginning when you describe her eyes as beautiful, maybe instead using the color of her eyes. Later, Legolas calls them beautiful, and I think that would be enough.
Again, you captures her emotions very well. And I want to throttle Legolas! Haha.
I suppose that I will read the remaining chapters tonight and review them tomorrow. It's late and I have work in the morning, but your story is very interesting! I just can't stop. :P
| Clutter-Buck chapter 2 . 12/1/2008
I'm back! :D So, I noticed to mentioned her fear of the upcoming battle at the beginning of this chapter. This pleased me, because I don't remember you mentioning it much if at all in the first one.
And OH MY GOODNESS, I'M GOING TO KILL THE ELF! Seriously! VERY NICE, though. Not a lot of people like to portray Legolas as the bad guy. I thought you portrayed the rape scene rather splendidly. Some of the wording sounded a bit awkward to me. Also, I want to mention this line: "He pushed her suddenly down onto the bed – she had an elegant, slender body, so she fell down quite easily." It's kind of pointing out the... I don't want to say perfection, because it doesn't say perfect. I think it would be better worded something like, "Her slender frame was no match for his strong hands as he pushed her suddenly on the bed." That actually sounds kinda corny, but it's just an example! :)
I think you captured her emotions nicely. Her confusion as well as her sorrow. How could she love this person after he hurt her? I would have liked it better if you had added in her stresses about the upcoming battle as well, but it's not needed. Just a personal preference.
Off to read the next one!
By the way, she should have bitten him when he tried to force her face between his legs. :
| Clutter-Buck chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
Hello! First off, I would like to say that your grammar and sentence structure is very nice! I like the way that you describe things. But one of the things I noticed is that your original character is a bit mary-sue-ish. But don't leave yet! I'm not here to bash you, I promise! And if it seems like I'm being harsh, I don't mean to.
Try not to overly describe Anié. For instance, instead of saying "her long, beautiful hair" just leave it at long. Don't use too many descriptive words at once, understand? Try to describe her throughout the chapter as well.
Also, it sounds rather strange to introduce her as "Legolas’ one true love". It sounds awkward more than anything. I know it's kind of critical, because this is, after all, a story about Legolas and his love, but I would try and word it differently, or hint at it more subtly. I would give you an example, but it's midnight and I can't think of anything myself. :D
Well, I'm off to read the second chapter! This story is very intriguing and looks to be very original.
| Weirdo-Lover chapter 7 . 12/10/2007
Whoa this is very dramatic and beatiful. Though I can never really pictured my favorite elf ever doing that to a woman. Somehow you wrote it perfactly as to it seeming possible.
XD! ANYWAY! IT WAS AWESOME!
| littledd chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
i can't believe no one else has reviewed this yet. this is INCREDIBLE! you are such an amazing writer, your description abilities are fantastic, i definitely teared up reading this. keep up the good work! ;)
| Elfsire chapter 1 . 6/27/2007
Tee hee. Is only me. Just to say I liked this, if thats how you can describe something like this. Well written
| DayTripper10108 chapter 1 . 6/25/2007
I liked it. It was well written and interesting.