Reviews for Invitation
bilingualkyuubi chapter 7 . 7/23/2008
yeah shika is a playa
bilingualkyuubi chapter 6 . 7/23/2008
i can't tell if you are trying to make ino jelous, or protective, but i guess that is a good thing.
bilingualkyuubi chapter 5 . 7/23/2008
that was odd, really odd.
bilingualkyuubi chapter 4 . 7/23/2008
birds move unpredictably, phonelines don't. phone networks are difficult to set up in isolationist societys. non industrialized societys don't need motorized transport. think final fantasy, they have all this high tech stuff and you either walk or take public transport, similar to what it is like in japan, and any society that values nature and leaving no trace so heavily.

temari is a heartless bitch, you don't make a bet after the bet conditions are met, i doubt he would collect what she owed him if shika was lying or if he died in transport (no good brother would do that when his sister was hurt emotionaly).
bilingualkyuubi chapter 3 . 7/23/2008
oh thats cute, child love where one thinks it is friendship and the other thinks its love, just like the adult friend zone.
bilingualkyuubi chapter 2 . 7/23/2008
i like this chapter, i think it is odd for him to say certain things publicly, but shika is a genius of the battle field not the hormones. and i like temaris argument with kankuro, i could really see a sister making the same claim that they really do feel for their boyfriend (or in this case curently potential boyfriend who we all know will be so in the end), yet my girlfriend is just a bimbo, though i doubt i would date anyone my family would hate because people who get along with the family get along with me, but still sisters are crazy like that. so yes your interactions are very realistic.
bilingualkyuubi chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
i would have to say that your creating the relationship seemed weak or odd, i don't know i mean it really does follow what could happen in real life with her being invited to diner and then her bringing him food later all over a basic atraction to each other, but just the speed at which they start talking about chorting seemed off character for the personalities of the two, with how lazy shika is and how stubern temari is i would think they would be in denail for a while longer. but after the initial part the interactions between the too was very good, and the teasing was well done, just early i guess. realy in cannon the way shika acts with temari is similar to how kurenai is with asuma, a relationship is implied with how they are seen together and deny any special relationship. but this is fanfiction, and it apears you wish too avoid bush beating and get to the entertaining family and friend interactions.
saiyamar chapter 22 . 7/13/2008
I was trying to find this story to add to my favourites! It took me about two hours but i found it again.

Anyway really well done with this story. I read it first about half a yr ago and i still remembered it which is why i was looking for it in the first place.

Very good story and i hope you write many more!
opEd-girl chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
I liked it. good writing, good dialog. My only criticism is (and this is only my opinion) that I think some of the way Temari spoke was too forward and perhaps a little too loose, to me she seems more reserved and almost shy and in a way too proud to admit her feelings so openly.

I did enjoy the dialog about shikamaru's wife not being to pretty or too old, that was a good read.

keep up the great writing.
rachel chapter 13 . 6/30/2008
i dont like to review but this chaptr was so awesome i had to.

i love the story.

i love that shikamaru told temari

temari and shikamaru are meant to be.

love love love.
xlolyunyun chapter 8 . 6/30/2008
hey!

i ended up laughing at the end of every chapter.

i love this so far.

i look forawrd to reading the rest.

much much much love
Lcuky Naruto08 chapter 14 . 6/29/2008
i like how u use Ossama as on of the clan names in Suna and they live in the desert. nice connection there.

By the way i LOVE ur story this on has to be my in my top 5 favorites of urs. the other ones r a mothers love (both of them) and the hokage great ond powerful (both of them).

i have to say ur my favorite author on fanfiction and i havent read any other fanfics since either feburary or march. whoa a really long time.

i like how this story is playing out. cant wait to read the rest of it!

Believe it!
Lucky Naruto08 chapter 4 . 6/28/2008
u have a very good point about the electrontics; ive often wondered the same thing.

Believe it!
Shadow Owner chapter 22 . 6/16/2008
First of all, lord of the land of fire, I throughly enjoyed this story (yes, all 22 chapters of it). The twists were unexpected, and all the chapters were pretty interesting. Thanks so much for writing it; I've no doubt that you spent lots of time and effort doing it.

Secondly, your characters do not seem to behave out of character, and this makes your story extremely realistic (esp Temari's family and Shikamaru's team). Again, I thank you for that! It's a wonder how you've managed to fine-tune them so much so that they become so imaginable.

Thirdly, the witty humour and injected into 'Invitation' was truly original! The plot was also fantastic! I loved the story bits (eg Chpt 13 on the Nara Hearts) I had a good laugh at the conversations (especially btw Shikamaru and Temari, Temari and Kankurou).

Finally, I thought the emotions and mood for the various chapters fit really well. The reactions of each character were so splendidly portrayed that I was drawn into the plot deeply. I was moved in Chpt 21 (aww... that's my ideal impression of true love too).

P.S. I love the idea of Shikamaru having a bloodline limit ability (pity it isn't so in the manga/anime...)
ShioriAyano chapter 22 . 6/9/2008
Really really great. This has given me a new perspective on betting :)
380 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »