|Reviews for Twisted Fate|
| Hollie Katrina chapter 5 . 8/29/2007
i cant believe this is discontinued! it's really good!
| edwards other bella chapter 3 . 8/13/2007
EEk! THE DRAFT!
| PurpleBlaze chapter 5 . 7/1/2007
I like that you showed Darry's and Pony's reactions to the news. It feels more fully developed that way. Poor Soda- I would be angry if I got drafted too (Not that I would).
| OneManShow chapter 5 . 7/1/2007
It has promise. Continue. ]
| Swizzlet-Schiz chapter 3 . 6/28/2007
ah crud. poor soda-cries-please dont make it like S. does.
| IAmOnlyMe chapter 2 . 6/28/2007
I like the premise for the story... dealing with the Curtis brothers and what they go through after the book.
You've got some really good insights in here, like what Ponyboy said about being surprised that Steve and Soda were best friends when Two-Bit was the one that had Soda's sense of humor.
I particularly liked the little mention of how Two-Bit is easily scared, although he doesn't admit to it easily. I kind of think you'd do really well if later on you chose to write a story that centered around Two-Bit.
In this chapter though you mentioned that Ponyboy had Language Arts 6 and Algebra 4. I'm not sure if it's different and that's how they do it at your school, but here in the part of Oklahoma that I'm in, freshman year math is generally Algebra I, sophomore is Geometry, Junior is Algebra II, and senior is PreCalculus/Trigonometry. And then the Language Arts go in order-LA I for freshman, LA II for sophomores, LA I for juniors, and LA IV for seniors. So it would be likely that if this were still Pony's freshman year, he'd be in Algebra I and Language Arts I. I definitely can't see him in Algebra IV since it is his worst subject and everything.
You're writing is pretty good-no glaring grammatical mistakes that are so obvious it's hard to read. You have some typos, things like "hadn;t" instead of "hadn't" but nothing too major. You just might want to read over it before you post it.
Also, you might consider making the POVs longer. If you've only got three paragraphs of Darry's POV, you probably can't fit anything in there that readers need to know right then, so it might be better to either stick with one person's POV and go much more in depth on what that Curtis is thinking or to make each chapter all one POV. That way you can really explore the character and their thoughts and feelings rather than just an outline of what they're doing.
Good story. Definitely has promise.