|Reviews for Release|
| hotneokitty chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
this was a good fic you acctually managed to keep Cox in character most J.D./Cox fics have trouble with that
| Owl Emporium chapter 1 . 4/18/2008
Ha, "Maybe". Ha. Anyways, great job with this. :)
| dormeus chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
I like the story and the action (of course) but your basic sentence construction is tough. You definitely need more commas like in this sentence:
"JD opened his mouth to protest(,) Cox guessed(,) but was silenced..."
Also, get a good thesaurus or re-read your sentences more. Lots of your sentences repeat the same words over and over and are too wordy. For instance:
"Being suddenly pushed into the wall by strong hands JD let out a gasp right before the wind was knocked out of him. He grimaced as he felt his head start pounding with the aftermath of being shoved into the wall while he stared at Cox’s irate face."
"JD let out a gasp as strong hands threw him against the wall, knocking the breath out of him. He grimaced, his head pounding, as he stared at Cox's irate face."
See how much better that flows? In the second sentence, you don't need to say "with the aftermath of being shoved into the wall" because you just talked about that, and why else would his head be throbbing? Aim to make your sentences flow and not be wordy or clunky.
| Susie Colfer chapter 1 . 10/2/2007
That...was amazing! I could definately picture their *cough*first*cough encounter to be much like that. Thanks. Keep up the good work. :)
| Corpse Of A Rose chapter 1 . 7/16/2007
OMG! I love you! you understand that it had to be forced their first time! You capture it perfectly! even with the little jokes known for their characters! It was amasing, and hot, and i love you for writing such a story!
| Vipergirl chapter 1 . 7/16/2007
O.O I never even imagined that pair... but i love you now. The grammer was a bit off, but other than that i thought it was great!
| M1nx chapter 1 . 7/2/2007