Reviews for Snowbird's Battalion
TxA-GunFighter chapter 2 . 4/9/2008
Good chapter.

gunny
TxA-GunFighter chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
Good chapter but they need to consider Murphy's Law.

gunny
Kat Wylder chapter 9 . 8/17/2007
Nice work on the epilogue. I thought Sheila's reaction was a particularly good touch. I've always thought that fighting an opposing 'Mech would be quite different than fighting a person. Killing someone face-to-face would be so much different for Sheila, and so much more traumatic. The emotional aspect makes it very real.
RougeBaron chapter 9 . 8/17/2007
Finally fixed the damn firewall!

First of all, I *love* the Elemental fight scene in Ch.8. I just skimmed it the first time and even then I knew I had to reread it whenever I had a chance. I think you did a tremendous job in capturing fear in Sheila as she fought the giant. Sheila, like other mechwarriors, is a demigod in her mech, but outside she was just this fragile human being. Sometimes we are so attached to our characters that we tend to turn them into superhumans. Not in this series, and hats off for you for doing that.

And whatever your reason was to choose Jade Falcon over Wolf, I'm behind you. I'm biased, I know.
Kat Wylder chapter 8 . 8/13/2007
"Hard core" is right. I'm really enjoying the infantry action, and it's a rare treat.

Also, good work on Sheila's fight with the Elemental. Beating him hand-to-hand would be rather implausible, but the way you handled the fight worked very well.
Kat Wylder chapter 7 . 8/3/2007
Hm, that might've been a much shorter 'Mech battle if Rhialla hadn't gotten her hackles up. Though I'm hardly complaining. I am curious, though, if Sheila and company will learn from that to take advantage of Clanner honor where they can. I wouldn't have expected the Falcons to offer batchall to the Sentienls, considering they're mercs.

It's also good to see that Sheila is able to put her feelings for Max aside in combat. It was pretty suspenseful reading for a few minutes, after Sheila turned away. I half-expected something unfortunate to come of it. Nice to be kept on my toes.

On a different note, it's interesting to see that you speak Japanese. I'm still learning, myself, so I'm hardly fluent.
RaZoRMandiblez chapter 5 . 8/3/2007
Amazing depth!this is novel level material!im no battletech buff,and the history lessons can be a little difficult to grasp,but its still a comfortable characters are very well fleshed out too.
Kat Wylder chapter 6 . 7/27/2007
Ya just have to love Sheila's go-get-em attitude. As I've heard it said before, courage is not the absence of fear but the ability ot put one's fear aside.

Also, the explanation of the snowbirds is quite interesting. Naming the unit for a predator which exemplifies the unit's ideals is a very Clanlike thing. I couldn't help but chuckle at reading that; it makes the unit's very name like a slap in the Falcon's face.
RougeBaron chapter 6 . 7/27/2007
Hmm, I didn't know if the roster was "based on a true story". I thought you just picked the mechs out of TRO or chaosmarch. Alright, I stand corrected.
Kat Wylder chapter 5 . 7/20/2007
That's an interesting roster, to say the least. It looks like Sheila is going ot have her hands full just getting everyone to cooperate. It's good to see that she changed the structure a little. Adaptivity seems to be one of Sheila's strong points. That's an excellent trait to have against the Clans- especially against such staunch traditionalists as the Jade Falcons.
RougeBaron chapter 5 . 7/20/2007
Good chapter, good flow, good dialogue. Very nice description. I like Shiela as a meticulous planner. Careful planning will help soldiers to live longer in the field, especially against Clanners.

The unit organization, however, is off Battletech standard. I don't mean to nitpick, but in case you missed this, think of this as an additional info, not a nitpick. How you use this is up to you.

1. Command Lance usually contains assaults, preferably carrying C3 to coordinate troops. The reason is because assaults are usually (1) tall, so they can cover a lot of battleground, (2) strong, so they won't go down easily. The Wolfhound in Alpha Company feels weird. The light mechs in Beta Company feels really, really weird.

2. Chameleon is a training mech. It rarely goes to battle. And it's not a good recon mech because it overheats like popcorn in a microwave. A Phoenix Hawk is a better choice should you have to have a medium in a recon lance.

3. Fire Lance is a fast-strike strategic team. Their greatest asset is their mobility. They have to be able to move over great terrain, assume position, and strike the enemy before they know it. Well, you know where I'm going with this.

4. Traditionally, here's what a company looks like:

Recon lance: light to fast medium (like P-Hawk)

Fire lance: medium to fast heavy with long-ranged weapons (Catapult is the perfect mech)

Command lance: heavy-armored heavy to assault (Atlas with C3 is the best choice)

Anyway, this composition depends greatly on the strategy. The Sentinels may have unorthodox composition for the sake of their strategy, like putting light mech in command lance. But bear in mind that light mechs are lightly armored. One sucker punch can kill a commander, and if the commander is down, the entire strategy will fail.
RougeBaron chapter 4 . 7/17/2007
You know that you can delete anonymous reviews, don't you? Flamers (or trolls) usually don't leave signed reviews lest you retaliate at their fanfics. But trolls don't usually post their works anyway. So don't get discouraged or disturbed by anonymous flames. Simply delete them.

Anyway, I enjoy it very much, though Calla's approval of Sheila-Max is a bit too easy for my taste. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Sheila-Max, but at least give them something to work on. Trust me, easy romance never lasts.

Last thing... Trojan Magnum man? Just kidding.
Kat Wylder chapter 4 . 7/15/2007
I got a bit of a chuckle out of Sheila and Calla's discussion. Her father handled it surprisingly well- better than he handled the proposal to bump Sheila up to a lieutenant commander, I'd say. I'm betting the Clanners are going to get a nasty surprise out of the new battalion.

And just for the record, I say WizKids ought to look into hiring you as a writer. Keep up the good work.
Kat Wylder chapter 3 . 7/10/2007
The mass panic is a great scenario, and one that doesn't seem to be used very often. For an IS force early in the war, even lone Clanners are scary critters. A sudden attack from two Clusters would be any Spheroid's nightmare come true. Splendid job of depicting the panic and confusion, as well as the rally for a counterattack.
RougeBaron chapter 1 . 7/3/2007
Good work as always.

To comment on your Author's Note, every BTech afficinado has his/her own interpretation on why the Spheroid didn't push the momentum after Myraborg's sacrifice. Here's mine: at that time they didn't really understand Clan's culture. So they chose to study and prepare, so next time the Clans came, they were ready. This "reluctance" paid off at Luthien and Tukayyid. IMHO, if the IS pushed the offensive, they'd be utterly destroyed. Remember, the success of Tukayyid was partially engineered by Ulric Kerensky. Had the IS attacked the Clan, Ulric would no doubt have fought as a true Clanner, and we both know that nothing can stand against Ulric's brainpower.

However, that's my take. I'll wait with anticipation where you'll take this story.
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