|Reviews for The Blacks I:Winds of Change|
| Guest chapter 8 . 4/28
Great story. Terrible grammar.
| adafrog chapter 20 . 3/17
Very good, thanks.
| Qi Eclipse chapter 13 . 12/21/2014
I love this story
but I noticed you have a lot of grammatical errors
I'm not really one to talk
(I can't tell the difference between a noun and a verb)
But I thought you would like to know
LOVE the story
| Cassie chapter 6 . 11/24/2014
I know that it's been a long time since you updated, but I really wanted to give you my opinion. First of all, you're writing is wonderful. It's like a delicious hamburger patty, tasty and satisfying. However, a burger needs buns, does it not? The meat is the most important part of the meal, however, it needs bread so that it is easier to eat! In that same mold, a good piece of writing needs a stable base to become truly great. Think of it like this; usage and spelling are like the buns of your burger. Using correct grammar, having proper tenses (past, present, future: did, doing, will do, he clapped, he is clapping, he will clap) spelling things right et cetera serve as the hamburgers buns. Things like capitalization and punctuation are the icing on the cake, or in our case the condiments on the burger. All of these things come together to make the perfect dish: you have the buns, you have the meat, and maybe to top it off you have cheese or mushrooms, ketchup, mayo or mustard!
By the way, to remember these rules I use C. U. P. S. My first grade teacher taught it to me, it stands for capitalization, usage, punctuation, and spelling. I hope this helps you with future writing!
Much love, Cassie 3
| kat callan chapter 6 . 6/8/2014
I like Reggie:D
| kat callan chapter 3 . 6/7/2014
I don't get why three animals were there, does she have a triple amimagi?
| Emilu chapter 5 . 4/27/2014
Is English your first language?
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 4 . 2/10/2014
I can't understand it. Why can't Sirius get a trial if he was put in Azkaban without one. Even less civilized jurisdictions grant trials albeit not fair ones. Madam Bones is Head of the DMLE, surely she can at least recommend a trial for Sirius.
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 2 . 2/10/2014
I just adore your Mirzam! What a character. Pretty enjoyable story so far.
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
Amazing! You made me like Walburga, a really bad character.
| chimaera198 chapter 17 . 1/20/2014
I love your story but I really really hate your inclusion of the Verascez-family especially since there are so many of them and you killed the parents. I mean I understand your "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"-attitude but honestly there are too many siblings! I have no idea witch one you mean when you write something about them. They have no personality and honestly I can't even remember the ages right. If you wanted more children after gemma, you should have done a pair of twins or triplets... That way it doesn't matter because in fanfiction twins/triplets always have the same kind of personality or complete opposite ones. It is easy to remember. Not to mention the whole orphan issues you have to adres now. Kids who lost there parents are clingy and scared and need a LOT of attention... trust me I know, my dad died when I was 17 while my sisters were 16, 11 and 10, and I am still fucked up and all of my sisters go to grieve-counseling once a week and it is needed. My mother nearly collapsed because she had to take care of all of us, grieve for her husband and manage to get enough money for the mortgage. Sorry for my rant but you keep bringing back supposedly dead people, it's annoying because you keep having the same kind of feelings of betrayal. The situation between Mirzam and her parents isn't really that different from Orion/Hermes and their sons... Except that Mirzam from one moment to the other is suddenly the guardian of five? girls. In the rest of the story you don't adres any issues Mirzam has with suddenly being a motherfigure for another bunch of kids. So I don't really understand why you included them.
I know this is not a really polite review, and I am sorry. I don't want to seem like a flamer but this issue bugs me every time I reread your story. (Not enough to stop reading your story obviously :-))
Can you please explain to me your reasoning?
May the muse be with you
| LJB3606 chapter 20 . 1/15/2014
Wonderful story I'm going to continue on to next story... You are an excellent writer !
| AtticusMaximus chapter 2 . 1/7/2014
In response to .uk
Walburga Black (1925—1985) was a pure-blood witch, the daughter of Pollux Black and Irma Crabbe, the sister of Alphard and Cygnus, the wife and second cousin of Orion Black and the mother of Sirius and Regulus.
| AtticusMaximus chapter 1 . 1/7/2014
You Quiet possibly choose the most horrible name ever. Homam, seriously?.
| T149Man chapter 3 . 12/13/2013
Honestly, you have a decent plot going, but I'm stopping here at the third chapter. There are far too many spelling errors for me to be able to enjoy reading this and quite a few plot holes.