|Reviews for Angela Marie Snape and The boy who lived|
| Cathy-Ann chapter 4 . 8/13/2007
The correct way to spell the word Sudjest is 'suggest'.
| Nirrti chapter 2 . 8/11/2007
There are a number of common errors which are dragging this down. I hope this is of some help to you.
Immediately not with the extra "a"
people not poeple
"month's worth" not "month work"
foolish not follish
minutes not minuites
Grimmauld not grimaud
Nymphadora not Nyphandora
suggesting not sudjesting
Scourgify not scorgify
Would not whould
Celebrity not celibracy
Furniture or furnishings not furnitures
constitute not contitute
One cannot have a "devoid expression"
All names begin with a capital letter - if there are two parts then both have capital letters. eg. Diagon Alley
I is always a capital letter, even if in the middle of a sentence.
Don't put random capital letters in the middle of a sentence.
If there is a natural pause or change in a sentence then add a comma, it helps keep the sense of it.
The syntax and grammar are poor; you could do with a beta to suggest different constructions of your sentences.
| ddamato chapter 5 . 8/10/2007
*blink blink stare* Um... Harry James Potter is just fine... why are you changing his name? oO *hesitant* hehe ;;
I heard that the acting was bad, but the movie was good. *shrugs*
| ddamato chapter 4 . 8/10/2007
| ddamato chapter 3 . 8/10/2007
Ernie is the bus driver and Stan Shunpike is the other guy - he's only a few years older than Harry is. *big grin*
| ddamato chapter 2 . 8/10/2007
If you don't have a beta reader, I'd be glad to beta read your story for you - no offense, but it looks like you need it. ;; hehe
| ddamato chapter 1 . 8/10/2007
Wow, this has definitely caught my interest. What part of legilimens don't you get? Maybe I can help you out there. ;;
| choirsinger chapter 6 . 7/28/2007
update very very very very very very soon!
| tg77ed chapter 5 . 7/24/2007
Great Chapter! Harrington James Potter even though his name is just Harry. It's an old name. It's distinguished (sp?) and it is worthy of shortening.
| memories of pain chapter 4 . 7/16/2007
I hope they will fall in love
that would really make Snapes day :P
| severusdiesinbook7 chapter 1 . 7/16/2007
Is his daughter's name "Severina"? "Elvira"? "Keena", Kailey", "Kiera", or "Ashley"?
| PhoenixGrifyndor chapter 2 . 7/3/2007
It seems a little fast paced but I'm not against that. I'm glad everyone made it back home safely. Look forward to the next chapter.
| HRInuyashaFan16 chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
sounds interesting. snape. harrys guardian. hm... wonder how that is going to turn out