Reviews for Sammy Finds Out and so does the Demon
Xelena chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
I like the type of series you're writing here but I have a couple of suggestions I think would make both the complete sets and the current one better. First, there are some minor grammar problems here and there that can be easily fixed. The rest are more major issues that, at least for me, have been affecting the way I read the story.
It's a little confusing what POV you're writing from because the majority of the time it seems like it's Dean or Sam's but then it goes back to this weird OC that I can't place within the storyline. I'd stick with one or the other. Also, you shouldn't really be using the titles of the episodes that we as an audience know when in Dean or Sam's pov. The brothers didn't call the hunt with the shifter "Skin" or the return to Lawrence "Home" so that whole section right there doesn't really ring true. The part of the stories that I think bugs me the most however are the recaps and 'next chapters'. If you're going to do a recap, make it succinct. You don't have to go over the whole last paragraph again. As for the next chapter parts at the bottom, you're giving away the suspense. There's no cliffhanger if you tell your readers what to expect.
Shooshkipoo chapter 12 . 4/29/2009
Nice work! The confrontation had me glued to my chair. You're definitely getting better with grammar and dialogue, but it is still a little confusing sometimes. I agree with Poison Jack, a beta reader would be a good idea. Hope to hear more, the part where Dean said he wanted to drain Sam gave me chills!
Irishmama chapter 12 . 9/14/2008
At the beginning of the story you made a point of the fact that the Azazel realized he made a mistake in going after Sam that Dean was the one dhampir he should have been after all those years. A mistake he intended to correct. Yet he made no further appearance in your story till the very end and his comment is "If I can't have Sam willingly when he's with his...". A direct conterdiction ti the grand openning revelations of the demond and his intentions. His intentions in coming to the Winchester house in the first place and his harasment of the family.
lime juize chapter 12 . 10/11/2007
I still love this series! More *looks up at you with puppy dog eyes*
getyourkicks chapter 5 . 7/29/2007
Poor Dean *hugs and pets head* always lying to his family and trying to get them to kill him. Dip Sam *smacks upside head* doesn't know his brother well enough. Dang I can't wait for the next update. Please update soon!
geyourkicks chapter 4 . 7/23/2007
oh! I cannot wait to see what Sam's response to Dean is going to be or heck what Dean's response to Sam is going to be. Please update soon before the suspence kills me!
Toxxica chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
Hey, I'm glad you got another story up! I love this series, it's got such an original idea. It would be much easier to read, though, if you were more careful about your grammar, or maybe looked around for a beta reader? I can't wait for the next chap!
get your kicks chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
Yay! I was waiting for when sam would find out. Update soon!