Reviews for Naruto Arashiodori
X-elemental chapter 21 . 1/10/2013
'Not to mention that, as a thirteen-year old, it will take him a couple years before he can actually have kids. '

Wut? Serious health warning: if a thirteen-year old boy cannot cum, isn't in puberty, one should truly give him a good checkup as it may be an indicator of serious problem since it usually starts a few years earlier - it is not like Sasuke needs to raise them(though now I have images of tiny Sasukes running around and using only variations of grunts to communicate in my head. "Itachi, do you want to head to ninja academy?" "Hn nm hmpf pbft ngh." or..."Itachi, what do you want to do when you grow up?" "Gain enough strength to kill my brother Fugaku.") - it would be good to give a checkup, but I'm not exactly sure how one would make sure a boy cannot - the fangirls aren't just after his good looks probably :p

Not that would be what Orochimaru would want to do with Sasuke's body, but Konoha doesn't know that.
X-elemental chapter 12 . 1/10/2013
'Just how much would I be able to grow under the guidance of a legendary Sannin?' '

Never-before seen plot-bunny detected!
Mahkatadi chapter 10 . 1/7/2013
Done. Now I'm gonna send a death on you. A nine chapter fight scene is ridiculous. Especially since that's the equivalent of a novel in itself.

Congrats, you've beaten my least favorite writer in being long-winded, at least chapter wise. I never thought I'd see the day.
Mahkatadi chapter 8 . 1/7/2013
Dear me, eight chapters of this fight scene...

Pacing? What's that?!
Revolation chapter 6 . 1/2/2013
"The last time anyone from Konoha has seen the frog king Gamabunta was on the day that the Fourth Hokage fought against the Kyuubi."

-The kids knew about that?
Revolation chapter 5 . 1/2/2013
Did the previous small frog summon disappear?
Omirao chapter 10 . 12/26/2012
I am enjoying your tale thus far, but there is a small nitpick that really ticks me off...

Do you realize how improper your use of the number 1 in your writing is? Each time you have used it so far you should have spelled it out ( "one" )! I can't believe your betas let that pass-they're supposed to watch out for those details to make the story better.

The difference in when you would use numbers and when you would spell them out is mostly simple, but is difficult to explain. Usually, if you are talking about money, you would use the numbers ( I.E., 125 Ryo ). In almost all other cases you would spell the numbers out ( I.E., Twelve years old, twenty-six missions, Konoha Eleven, etc ). Really, you could even go with spelling out the amount of money, unless it's a very large number like "Eight billion, six hundred and seventy-four million, eight hundred and eighty-nine thousand, two hundred and eleven". That you would shorten with numbers to only 8,674,889,211 to enable ease and quickness in reading. Otherwise, it's better to spell them out.

Thank you.

Other than that one irritatinglack of decour, I feel you have done a very good job at capturing the favored style of conversation of "Naruto". Thank you for your good efforts!
MisteryMaiden chapter 61 . 12/16/2012
...ok, you're just being cruel ending it there, you horrid person...
Ettore chapter 10 . 12/13/2012
That was a great revision of the Naruto VS. Gaara fight, but it seems like Orochimaru would have to be an idiot to continue the plan after the loss of his trump card and the obvious demoralization of Suna after witnessing the quality of the Leaf shinobi. Nevertheless I love what you did with it and can honestly say you have earned yourself a fan.
DASvicks63 chapter 20 . 12/12/2012
Amazing you did this fight in one chapter great work
I'm Naruto Dude chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
wow lol
den123456 chapter 5 . 11/25/2012
The way you have the jounin react to the situation is very out of character, and the way you have naruto monologue doesn't work nearly as well in this format as it does in manga format, and, to me at least feels REALLY silly.
Ficcy-Awards chapter 61 . 11/18/2012
Congratulations! This story is under consideration for a prenomination in the First Annual Naruto FanFiction Awards (the Ficcy's) for multiple categories. The categories this fanfiction may be prenominated for are as follows:

Best Het Adventure Story
Best Het Long Story
Best Overall Long Story

Note that these are only prenominations, and you will only be considered if you reply to this review. This story may or may not make the final nominations.

If you wish for another story to be considered, read the guidelines on this account's profile and send a Private Message to this account with the name and author of the story and which category/categories it may qualify for.

Thank you for your cooperation.
OnGuard chapter 45 . 11/9/2012
Ok, you do not claim your big on details when about of your past author notes made it obvious you had no clue what you where talking about.
OnGuard chapter 44 . 11/9/2012
The sharingan can not tell shadow clones from the user unless they watch the technique and track both of their movements.
3,348 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »