|Reviews for The Swirl in the Sun|
| Dark Gotham chapter 4 . 4/24/2010
This is so sweet! Hope you write more.
| xxOrganizedInsanityxx chapter 2 . 11/25/2009
aw that was so cute! i thought she was really gonna get to tell him how she felt! :(
stupid shino! showed up at the wrong time dammit!
im gonna read the next 2 chapters now 2 see what happens!
| Teen-anime-gal-14 chapter 2 . 1/6/2008
| Dance-is-love chapter 1 . 1/5/2008
Ah! It's so cute. I like it. Thanks for reviewing on my story, and I hope you continue this one!
| Rose Tiger chapter 3 . 1/4/2008
Naruto is not dead! Someone help him and Hinata in her case!
| Rose Tiger chapter 2 . 1/3/2008
Don't stop. Keep going.
| crazy-kyra chapter 2 . 1/2/2008
That was really good!
Poor hinata! :(
I like the way you made hinata act the way i would see her act in the anime.
And the way naruto gets into fights XD lol.
Cant wait to read more .
| pbaxter chapter 2 . 1/2/2008
nice start, I look forward to seeing more _
| Mr. Lee chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
Hello mistergfreak, this is Mr. Lee. I received your message. First things first, welcome to ffdotnet :)! Now I've read your NaruHina story, so here's a review as you've requested. For a first time fic, your story has a lot of potential to be very good despite Hinata and Teuchi being slightly OOC. The only things I can recommend is that you need to break up your paragraphs a little, they're a little too big. Also, multiple people talking in one paragraph turns off readers. Having one person talking multiple times is fine. But when a new person speaks, you need to make a new paragraph.
Example: "Oh! N-naruto-kun, it's you." Hinata said in her usual shy manner.
"The one and only!" Naruto said in his usual boisterous tone.
Little things like this makes your story flow better and catches the attention of the reader. Finally, it seemed you were moving a little fast with the romance. Just slow it down a little and you'll be fine. Remember, in romance, timing is everything. Other than that, your story is very good for a first fic. I'll be watching to see where this goes. I invite you to check out my Naruto Flower Tales: Hinata when you have some time (Don't forget to review :)!). I wish you all the luck in the world. I'll be watching you ;)! Later :)!
| FelixEcho chapter 1 . 7/6/2007
really good chapter. i wonder what will happen next chapter? hey, can you take a look at my fic and tell me what you think of it? please? .
| Melody of Perdition chapter 1 . 7/4/2007
Really liked it! Poor Hinata u.u
hope you update soon x)
| Nerina Sky chapter 1 . 7/4/2007
THAT WAS A ReALLY GOOD FIRST CHAPTER
good luck with the rest of it
| mistergfreak chapter 1 . 7/4/2007
Oh and also, just so you guys know. I am adding more to this. That's why it says that this story is in progress! Please take that into account.