|Reviews for Final Fantasy VII|
| Team Wingless chapter 6 . 9/8
I think I played up to about this part of the game before I got bored and shut it off. To be fair, I didn't even know what I was playing but I remember some really campy dialogue about Aerith's mom telling him she's a special snowflake that really made me cringe. I see you took it out here and I'm kinda grateful. Don't mind me, just reading to pass the time, and so far it's going down easy.
| Team Wingless chapter 55 . 8/23
Hi, I found you from the Lifestream forums and heard you say you were in the novelization club. Thought I'd check you out.
This actually reads like a good self-published novel. I had some crit on the first chapter but once I got into the second and third, it just flew. Very nice, very smooth. You conveyed everything in an exciting and crisp manner without resorting to crazy literary allusions or melodramatic writing (like so many others in the fanfic world fall prey to). Your writing is minimalistic and straight-forward. I'm not into that style myself but it's a widely successful writing technique employed by sellouts-I mean best-sellers (lol). Here's a breakdown on my thoughts about this project. Please take this as a good review because I'm pretty utilitarian when it comes to writing, and I'm near impossible to please, which rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Here's the bit of concrit I picked up on since I'm not into meaningless praise...
Similes are a little weak to start off, and it's way too early to start throwing them around anyway before you've hooked people. But the actions are straight-forward and easy to follow. You don't waste our time. But for the immediacy of this mission, Cloud seems rather calm about it, "walking" to the reactor like he was just strolling to work. This is probably the game's fault more than anything though. Also, I feel like you write too much in the passive voice ("was in camo" vs "wore camo").
Here I'll give you a quick example of how I'd fix up your style: "He had dark skin and hair and a gatling gun was grafted to his arm where his right hand should be" becomes "he had dark hair and skin with a Gatling gun grafted to his amputated arm at the wrist." It's just a word-economy thing.
I can tell you were playing the game as you were writing this, using it as a guideline. The characters motions do feel very linear and blocky, "walking" around with another character following behind. But really you didn't have much of a choice with what you were given as source material, and for following it you should be given a medal for what you've been able to convey.
Your battle sequences are very flush and straight-forward. You do everything I advocate and harp on writers for not doing. Your minimalistic writing is allowing me to see every move fluidly. That's an achievement for fanfiction and writing in general. You know how many dime novels I've picked up where I can't see the action they're describing? Great job. I mean it.
This is a successful novelization. You should promote it more. I'll fave and follow.
| nowherewouldbe chapter 26 . 7/30/2014
Re-reading this story. I was kind of hoping that you'd finish this one but sadly, it's 7/30/2014 today & your last update was over a year and a half ago. A shame, I hate seeing a good story go to waste... :(
| Sunny Lighter chapter 55 . 5/18/2014
Thanks for writing this.
| CreedmasterNeo chapter 7 . 4/7/2014
Cloud isn't tall, he's shorter than squall whose only 5 "8, and even tidus is taller than cloud
| Yadda Wadda BaddaBoom chapter 55 . 8/25/2013
Well I have no complaints, well written & well told! I can't post under my main ID, debi6988, but I can post with my FB to say...great job! I look forward to more of your work. I love the FFVII storyline & your version told it well! :)
| Anatherin chapter 48 . 1/10/2013
Wow! This needs more reviews. It's just not right when there's more chapters than reviews...
I do like your version of this, even though I'm not usually big on novelizations. :) This is pretty amazing, and I appreciate the bravery to take on something so large scale!
And where you do deviate slightly from the plot, it makes total sense! Haha. The characters think more in your story, I guess. :)
I loved the beginning of the chapter, with Tifa, and then Barret talking to Cloud. You miss that in the original game...
| Shinzhon chapter 43 . 7/11/2012
That was great ! Maybe one of ly favorites moments in the game :3 when Barret says "I take back what little praise I had for this jackass."
Great chapter !
| WinoMeishuSlutfoxHoon chapter 41 . 11/12/2011
You should finish this.
| Peter J Marcroft chapter 40 . 7/6/2011
Hi, well it is good that a writer has got so far with the fic, I must say though, that your story is a little limited due to the lack of real description of events. I though the story about the mountain was good, especially linking the giving up to Jenova. The problem though, is that too much of the story feels like 'they went here, climbed this, looked there...' etc.
While this summary writing explains what they did, it doesn't really get under the skin of how. Like when climbing for instance, referencing what holds they use and so forth.
Plus the length of your chapters makes this feel very rushed, it overrides that actual sense of time that is being taken to move forwards in their environment.
I do say that I in particular look for this, as like you, I am novelising FF7, only mine is... Errr... Long! So it is no big criticism, but I would try to add a lot more description of the environments they are in
| Mr. Ite chapter 40 . 4/18/2011
Hey Jason! Good to see an update!
I love how you expanded the Holzoff backstory although I must say I miss the name "Yamski" lol. With your dialogue you really make the mountain seem terrifying - like a bogeyman almost. The reactions to "the mountain took him" (great line!) could be described with more detail. You say Yuffie was terrified, but I would love to see where you could take that if you gave that moment some more time. What her hands were doing, what her eyes were doing. I think if I were to offer one piece of friendly advice for this whole book so far it would be to take your time. No need to rush through the moments.
example: I love that the dragon/mountain spirit appears as a woman. It's the kind of thing that makes me want to play DnD, how specific and mysterious it is. But I think the "roar like a dragon" line spoils the surprise a bit. You could delve more into the transformation - how exactly it transforms, what the characters see. Dragons are really easy for people to imagine, so you could describe the features of a dragon instead of saying "dragon heads." Horns, snouts, teeth, wings. The audience will figure it out and be more immersed because they are taking an active role in piecing together the moments of your story.
P.S. the Shiva lore is really neat! You're so creative, you really bring the world to life. Keep it up, man!
| pacificuser chapter 2 . 10/15/2010
I like it! Very nice! A little proof-reading is in order to fix a few grammatical and spelling mistakes. But otherwise the structure is correct. Good work... Very high-quality for a free work. Just a little proof-reading is all.
| ChocolateyGenesis chapter 36 . 8/30/2010
*nods* Okay, okay, I did this. Keep it up!
| CrimsonStellar24 chapter 2 . 8/30/2010
oooh, your story caught my attention be honest i've never played FF7 before so i'm dying to know what mainly happened in the game so i'm quite happy to be able to read your fanfic i think i saw the game being played by one of my cousins a few years ago although i couldn't remember many of the details ..Anyway tnx 4 this chapter and I'll continue reading this.(forgive me 4 my blabbermouth and wordy review XDD)
| ChocolateyGenesis chapter 35 . 6/5/2010
This has been great as usal. Thanks for the post.