Reviews for Soul Curse
Brackenfoot chapter 19 . 9/17/2008
This was an amazing end to an amazing story. Thank you for bringing this story into existence. Really, thanks. I loved the plot, Becca, and even Narcissa, as a villain.
RikkuMcClowFox chapter 19 . 9/27/2007
Author: ...I'm alive! I'm sorry about the wait, stupid storm knocked my computer out of commission for two days. Any who, I loved this chapter to bits! This was probably one of the greatest fan fictions I've ever read, from start to finish! I think that the yello roses at Becca's grave are from Amy; the red ones from Shadow; and the white ones from Sonic. I think that the item needed to restruct Becca was a rose, which was give to her.

Rikku: So... that means Becca's back, right?

Author... I think so... unless its just her spirit.

Rikku: Wow... that would suck. Being a spirit for all eternity and all... BRAINSTORM! You should do a sequel! Like make it two years after this one or something like that and have Amy met up with the newly revivedn Becca!

Everyone: Wha?

Rikku: OH, who needs any of you!

Author: Anywas, the next chapter of Angelz in Training will be up by tomorrow, I swear it!

Rikku: You've promised and sweared on a lot of things...

Author: Oh be quiet! Any who, we'll both be looking forward to your next story.
Ciel the Hedgehog chapter 19 . 9/27/2007
Me: Wow. Rose, I am seriously impressed with how the epilouge turned out! Beautiful! It's really touching, and-

Ciel: *crying*

Me: What's wrong?

Ciel: It was sad that she had to die...*sniffle*

Gemini: It's alright bro. Everything turned out for the better, right?

Ciel: *sniff* Yeah...

Me: The gang liked it too. It's interesting to see the original ideas you had too. It's interesting how much a story can change, isn't it?

Well, we gotta' go now, but great story! And I have one final thing to say...



azngirlchibi chapter 19 . 9/26/2007
Amazing. This last chapter is amazing. It's so short, but I've never read so much depth and feeling in such a short amount of space. It was really intense and I was blown even farther away by this chapter than anything else. Funny how your first chapter compares to the last one _

Okay, now to comment on the story as a whole...

As a whole, and as your first long story, it's pretty good. You had some off-days and some days where you were practically on fire, but if you ever find the time, you might want to fix your off-day ones (though no one ever does... lol _)

The characters could use some work. There needs to be more contrast between them. I mentioned before that they're all really monotone, really OOC, and they all react the same to everything. Remember to give each character it's own personality. Becca's still a pretty good OC though, she's not too perfect, but not too flawed either _

The plot is a really good idea too. I think it would've been cooler if you had like, a whole cult or something after Amy (more dramatic, LOL), but Narcissa was pretty formidable for them - she's a really good villan. She's really complex, just like Becca, and the plot. The plot moved a little too fast for my taste sometimes, because you would jump from one scene to another, which really confuses the readers. Take a scene, slow down, and write it like a chapter within a chapter (within reason). Describe lots. It's just a matter of finding the right words (I know, it's a heck of a lot easier to say than to do, but we all gotta try!)

The Lake of Tattered Souls - now that was really original. In case you haven't noticed I'm going through your story according to the 5 W's, and when I got to "Where," I realized that the Lake of Tattered Souls is very much a person as it was a place. I love the idea of it. I think you did a very good job of describing it and making it seem almost human, but still reminding us that it still had flaws, as powerful as it was.

The timing of the story wasn't always great. As I said, you jumped around a lot, and you didn't slow down to describe things. For example, when Sonic was sad, he was just sad. What sort of sad? Painful-sad, angry-sad, guilty-sad... it adds more depth to the characters. So slow down _

You reasoning and spiritual parts behind the story really impressed me. I was especially impressed by how deep some of the idea went, even if the emotions didn't go quite as deep - such as your aura being the same colour as your eyes because they're the windows to your soul, and the last chapter about the whole rose petals thing... it makes me think of things as not being what they are.

The only flaw to the ending, as wonderful as it was, was that it was kinda random. It didn't really SOLVE anything. Well, I guess it really isn't a flaw. I think it's a brilliant way to end it, but it annoys me because I have to think of my own ending. It's a great writing tool, so if I get annoyed by it, that's probably a good thing.

Now that I've looked over all the chapters, this one is definatly, definatly my top favourite. Don't change the ending, even if I beg you in the future _

18 chapters... *whistles* Awesome!

I can't wait to read any future stories from you!

azngirlchibi chapter 18 . 9/15/2007
Do I want Becca dead? I don't... "want" her dead... but I don't really like the idea of something coming back to life either. Like, if you die, stay dead! I'm sorry, that sounded really jaded, but I don't want Becca to die... just... I dunno...

Well, you'll think of something. Good chapter _

Update soon!
RikkuMcClowFox chapter 18 . 9/12/2007
Rikku: *Sob* WAH! *Sob* Okay.. Sorry about that, *Sniff* I-I'll be okay for a while. BRING BECCA BACK! *Sob* Bring her back! *Crys*

*Few minutes later*

Really sorry abou that... What? Even I have an emotional side. Anywho, I guess you kind of figured out that I want Becca to come back. If you didn't well-

*Someone in the background* STUPID ALGEBRA HOMEWORK! *Heavy book is thrown against the wall*

Rikku: O_o ... I'm scared... Any who, that's the author. She wouldn't let me help her with her hoemwork though. *Mimicking* No! You don't have the proper skills or something like that. Any way, this chapter was really amazing. Can't wait for the next update.
Ciel the Hedgehog chapter 18 . 9/11/2007
Do I want Becca to stay dead. Hmm...narf...depends. It's all your choice, and as much as I don't want Becca to die...well, I can't say. Meep.

Still...BECCA NEEDS LUFF! *huggles Becca* Whatever you do, give Becca a happy ending. For me? Please?


PS: So is this the end of the story, and you're going to do a sequel? Or just more chapters to the story? Just curious...
azngirlchibi chapter 17 . 9/10/2007
I love it! What a plot twist! I really did not see this coming - she saves her by tainting her soul! That's EPIC! I can't get over the awesome plot twist!

The few things I can really, really nitpick is probably the one spot where you forgot to capatilize... and the present tense. No, you're not tense-switching, but I really think that you should go back to past tense. The present-tense thing just isn't working out very well.



Update soon!
Ciel the Hedgehog chapter 17 . 9/9/2007
Me: My god. Oh my freaking god. I never would have thought THAT'S how they fix things! But what will this do to Amy? Huh? HUH?

Ciel: The part with Becca's wings, and feeling no freedom makes me feel sad...WAH! *sobs*

Me: Don't cry buddy! *hands him a tissue* Anyway, you know what to do next, so I'll be waiting!

Ciel:...They all need hugs...
RikkuMcClowFox chapter 17 . 9/9/2007
Rikku: Poor Becca! I understand how your feel. My dad's a war general who is focused on taking too much power while my mom... Well, she's murdered in Matchmaker 2: Lost Love.

Author: You weren't suppose to tell anyone that! GAH! I can never reveal any story plot lines to you.

Rikku: And your just now figuring that out? And you call me slow.

Author: Why you... Calm down. Calm down. Think of your blood pressure... *Sigh* Ahem... Anyway, this chapter was amazing! I wonder how Amy will turn out in the end. And what was Sonic doing during all of this? Maybe Narcissa will kill her now that she doesn't have what she wants. Will Becca get back her emotions? What is Shadow doing during all of this? What is going to happen to the BeccaXShadow relationship? The SonicXAmy relationshiip? Will Elise show up?

OH! So many questions are left unanswered. Why do you have to be so cruel.

Rikku: You shouldn't be the one to be talking.

Author: Shut up. Anyway, me and Rikku are looking forward to the next chapter. We'll be on the look out.

Rikku: Yes ma'am! *Salutes*

Author: *Sigh* Why... Why... why...
RikkuMcClowFox chapter 16 . 9/1/2007
Author: EEK! I'm late reviewing! I am really so very sorry... Stupid computer with the stupid virus! Well, I found another computer taht I can use two days a week so I should be able to review... even if I do it late...

Rikku: Go Becca! Punch the old raccoon in the jaw for me!

Author: Pay no attention to her... She's been in therapy for the past couple of days... *Whispers* You know? The whole Marine and Tails thing that's going on... That came back again.

Rikku: Why couldn't they have picked me!

Author: O_o Be glad that Becca gave up her emotions... I wish Rikku would get rid of her anger.

Rikku: I shall not be silenced!

Author: Whatever. I really liked how we got to see the whole scene folding out from Becca's (with emotions) point of view. It made the story all that more real and... YEAH LONGER CHAPTERS!

Rikku: My therapist said that I shouldn't show my anger to others and get rid of it in writing... She doesn't know me at all! What a whacko!

Author: Be thankful you never have to send Becca to therapy. Remember, if you ever come up with the idea of a crazy. spunky, and sassy fox fancharacter, scrap the idea!

Rikku: What are you talking abotu! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be on Fanfiction!

Author: True, but still. Sometimes the bads outweigh the goods. Ah well, update soon!
azngirlchibi chapter 16 . 8/31/2007
Eek! I didn't review the last chapter :P

Sonic wouldn't hit an old lady? ... Yeah, she probably wouldn't, even a psychotic, evil one. Sonic... eh, he wasn't that conceited. Maybe just a little bit :P

Chapter 16 is pretty good though. I like it - gives us some more info on Becca's past, and we get to see more of Shadow _

Update soon! I know, the review's short, but I'm tired :P
Ciel the Hedgehog chapter 16 . 8/31/2007
Interesting. So the soul lives on in the lake? Odd...and by the sound of things, Becca's soul will be returning. Maybe Shadow's too?

Then again, the lake said that the souls can never be properly returned, so...hmm, what effects will there be? Well, keep it up Rose!
RikkuMcClowFox chapter 15 . 8/29/2007
I thought Sonic was very in character. Although I do think he should have been a little more concerned about Amy... Dang, Narcissa is annoying with that laugh of hers. Punch her in the jaw Sonic! Go on! It's okay! She's evil remember. I thought that the chapter was kind of short, but that's just me. What are the supposed to do now? OH! I hope Amy doesn't turn into one of those... freaks, if I may call them that. Sorry if this review is lacking... I have writer's block. Any who, hope you update soon!
Ciel the Hedgehog chapter 15 . 8/28/2007
I would probably hit that old witch anyway, the rotten little...oh, is this on? Well...uh...X3

I think you got Sonic alright, though the fighting and stuff seemed a bit fast-paced...maybe it's just me. *shrugs*
58 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »