Reviews for kingdom hearts III the keyblade war
Scribbification chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
Spell check. Grammar check. Beta-reader.

Trust me. It'll help. I couldn't get past the first couple of sentences.

If it was cleaned up a little, I think I'd really like it. But please - just please.
ladyanime chapter 1 . 6/25/2009
Your story's grate but please try to work on the spelling
RexiaXIV chapter 1 . 10/28/2008
I think you should really revise the first few chapters... x_x Take out the huge blinding paragraphs and use grammar/spell check...

The grammar and spelling gets a -little- better in later chapters, but there's too much dialog and barely any good descriptions. (Show, don't tell) Maybe a better choice of words would be good too?

It's really hard for me to read through fics with crazy huge paragraphs and bad spelling/grammar so I don't have anything to say about the characters or the story...

If you went back and started with the spelling/grammar errors and spacing, this would be readable and then you could try work on detail after. I know that this is really old and already finished, but I think you should just try to revise it one day. I know it's a pain and kinda hard to revise really old and bad writings, but it's good practice and slightly satisfying in the end to see how much you improved.
gunpowder perfume chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
I didn't get past that gigantic first paragraph. Couldn't.

Perhaps you are aware that Sora, Kairi and Riku cannot travel around to worlds whenever they wish? Are you aware that after roxas merged with Sora they cannot separated, despite what numerous fanfiction writers write out as? Does your shift button work correctly? Has it occured to you that Sora cannot make a portal to darkness, only Nobodies can?

Get a beta reader. There's potential in your plot, but too many plot holes it's not even canon anymore.

I'm scared. Someone please tell me this is a troll.
kariuchiha19 chapter 23 . 9/2/2007
true youve got a point there...but seriously...WHAT HAPPEND TO RIKU!
kariuchiha19 chapter 24 . 9/2/2007
ok..at the begining of this story,i was confused...i got everything fine until...well the secret ending...now im confused again...well i still like the way u ended it and well...poor riku...i wonder how his...i forgot was he the one with only the dad?... i think thats right...well see ya
Gilamonsterx chapter 23 . 9/2/2007
Cool stuff. I was jk about the main characters thing. It adds a little more suspense in my opinion cuz you start to wonder if they are really dead or not. Can't wait for the sequal. Gilamonsterx over and out until then.
Gilamonsterx chapter 24 . 9/2/2007
Excellent ending. I would give this story 9.5 out of ten stars. I'm not a big fan of killing off major characters, but its your fic. You da man!
FanfictionEater chapter 1 . 9/1/2007
I don't know how this story could have so many reviews and only a few brought up the bad grammar and spelling. It detracts from the quality of any story.
kariuchiha19 chapter 22 . 9/1/2007
damn!soo you gave axel a brother?i like the way u made them have oppisite powers... that was cool...wher r sora and kairi anyway?
Gilamonsterx chapter 22 . 9/1/2007
Beautiful. I love how you ended this one. Then again I also like how I ended my recent chapter. Good job man. Hope your sequel gets as much reviews as you have now and many more like they say at b-day parties.
Gilamonsterx chapter 18 . 8/22/2007
Good work. Sorry about using POP before your sequel had a chance. Even if you do use it i won't be a whiny bugger about it. I wanted to use jurrassic park at first, but then i heard you were going to use it and didn't want to spoil your story as of that moment a couple of weeks ago. Either way, Very good show. I definately guarantee my story might surpass 40 chapters so don't expect it to be done as of summer vacation.
kariuchiha19 chapter 20 . 8/21/2007
damn that old man is just pure evil!and well i just LOVE this fic! cant wait for the next chapter
kariuchiha19 chapter 18 . 8/20/2007
i like the way u mix axel with rino...poor leon. oh and the weapons of axel are called chakrams just so u know and i dont remember where they said that but i think it was in kh2...anywho thanks for updating i like it a lot XD
kariuchiha19 chapter 3 . 8/18/2007
true u made him look like rino still i like rino too so i dont care im just glad that axel is here again thank u so much
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