|Reviews for Marimtudada And The Elf From Hogwrats|
| finallyexploded chapter 1 . 10/24/2012
A classic. I laughed the entire time.
Readers, do not miss out.
Good luck with all future projects.
| 1Past and Present1 chapter 12 . 10/9/2012
Must be read to be believed.
| Tomazine chapter 3 . 1/31/2012
My dear colmemunkee,
I normally only review positively or with constructive advice. I'm trying not to be flame-y; keep that in mind.
For one thing, you have raped canon. I am only into the third chapter and I don't recognize any of this. The daughter of the Lady of Lothlorien would inevitably be full elf, because Galadriel's husband, Celeborn, was an elf as well, and adultery is a heinous crime in elven cultures. There is no such magic as to send a person six thousand years into the future (the time of the Fellowship of the Ring came about six thousand years before that of the Golden Trio).
Work on your mechanics. I apologize if English is a second or even a third language to you (if so, I commend you for writing your best in another language) but your grammar is horrible, your spelling is worse, and your phraseology is abysmal. I advise you to invest in two books: a copy of Lynne Truss's Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, which gives basic punctuation advice; and a copy of the newest Unabridged Oxford Dictionary. I don't want to say this, but you need it.
I'm reading the story as I review, and I just made it to Ch. 5.; I've changed my mind. You're a genius. This is one of the best trolls I've ever read. Its precision "such-bad-English-I-can-hardly-read-it" strikes simply blow my mind.
| Dandelion-san chapter 3 . 7/29/2010
Why. WHY? How could you mangle such a great series (even if it is riddled with plot-holes) into this...this...ABOMINATION?
Well, actually, now I'm a little amused. It's so ridiculous that it's hilarious.
I suggest taking this fic down entirely.
| Parodoxical Shift chapter 12 . 12/19/2009
Ok. Give me a second, will you?
*rolls around laughing head off*
Sorry about that. Ok. You might want to improve your spelling a bit. And your grammar. And your plot. And your writing style.
Heck, you should just rewrite the whole story.
If you're a troll, then this is one of the best trolls I've read. If you're not...writing clearly isn't your forte. You might want a beta reader. I'd be happy to help, if you wanted one. If you already have one...uh. Maybe you should fire him/her. Or maybe...I dunno. You probably do want to fix this up a little. At the minute, it's little...rough for most people.
| Aesthetic Butterfly chapter 2 . 7/8/2008
I cannot believe you were stupid enough to post this.
Maybe you, AvalaBlack and Felix_Nitlin should get together. I mean, your stories are at the same level of incompetience.
I am going to say the same thing to you I said to them.
Just please, delete this Mary-Sue, this terrible peice of "work".
Lord, at least get a beta reader, or MSW.
I give up... you people, you ruin JRR Tolkien's work and JK Rowlings work. Someone should have you beheaded!
Just... either stop writing or get someone to HELP you.
I don't think anyone likes this.
| Cardio Necrosis chapter 12 . 11/12/2007
You have gotten better, although teh characters are still somewhat out of character and there are spelling errors.
feenix is actually spelled Phoenix, and Dumbledore's phoenix is named Fawkes, not Fox.
You are getting much better with the writing, though. Still, I would try and work on the characterization and spelling. There are good plot twists in here.
I will continue reading your story. If you want help, don't be afraid to ask me. You can send me a message if you like. I like how you keep trying, and how you don't give up. You still need to work on it, but how else does one learn?
Practice makes perfect. Your writing is getting better.
| Cardio Necrosis chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
Okay. Well, this is rather long, but I'm tryign to help. I will say I did like, and did not like, about your story.
Like many of these stories (if not sure what I mean by these stories, please look up the word Mary Sue) the plot is thick and has detailed history and plot twists, but it is not done very well. Also, you should check your spelling. Really. If in doubt, look through the books. Also, most of the characters are out-of-character. Read through bits of the book again, pertaining to the charcter you are writing, and try to make them act as they do. It's all right to let your opinions of that character show, but try not to make them act differently. Hate/love them for who they are-do NOT change them to fit something you hate/love.
The character is a Mary Sue. Someone who is flawless, perfect at everything, has a troubled past and is overly angsty, yet at the same time does not act like one would having had that sort of life, and oh-so-beautiful. Also, every super-power known to man. This is bad. Do NOT give your characters a shitload of powers. It gets rid of the suspense, because everyone knows that she can handle it easily. Make it hard for them, so that people wonder if she will do it. Note: everyone has flaws. I'm not saying you can't have a beautiful and intelligent person who is good at Quidditch and magic (very unlikely still), but I am saying that someone like that would probably be vain or conceited as hell.
What I do like about your story is the detailed history of your character. I do like reading about hard lives, but I would suggest making her act appropriately for her trauma. Such as, a girl who is raped and tortured by her parents probably wouldn't like other people much, and would not just blurt out the horrible life they led.
Adding notes in the middle of a story can take someone out of the mood. Also, don't mention what might be important later. And don't talk about yourself, unless it is in a note added after the story.
I do like how you pointed out they do not wear real clothes. I do NOT like the way in which you mentioned it. The letter does not look like that, perhaps you could have mentioned it when describing the other students? When in doubt, look in the book.
Umm, the wands? They are made of wood. I doubt there are pink trees. And as for the Sorting . . . I don't think Harry and his freinds are so mean they would do that.
I do like how you offer your opinions of the characters through first person. Sometimes characters automatically liking all those that Harry likes is a bit, well, overly done, so I like that aspect. I like your opinions, or at least teh character's ability to express her opinions.
Do not make the story into a list, please. Detail it. Say something like, "I especially like the tuna and hotdogs, but I didn't eat too much of them because I had to make room for the mashed potatoes. I was impressed by the salami . . ." Besides, you don't HAVE to eat everything the first sitting. Maybe eat other things the next dinner sitting.
Okay, Snape is my favourite character, so I'm a little nitpicky. I do like how you made him an asshole. He really is mean, you know, with him saying she was ugly, so THANK YOU for not making him extra bubbly and nice and automatically like her. But I think he does call Draco by his first name (in OotP, he calls him Draco when he interrupt teh Occlumency lesson) but that really isn't that big of a mistake. However, I do not think he would take THAT many points. I don't think it's possible. He would probably take ten or something. But you got his character down somewhat, although you really REALLY over did it. You tend to do that a lot-take certain aspect of a character and amplify it. That is part of the OoC thing-you over do a lot of the characters.
I can tell you are either young, or new to the writing thing. Some people are mean in reviews, but they sometimes make a good point. Do not let this discourage you. Try to learn from your mistakes. But do not stay so stubborn you do not try. Try to fic your faults in writing, but don't lose what you do well. (The detailed history, the opinions, those are good, and thick plots) Most of your problem stays in your inability to keep your characters in characters, you amplify certain aspects way too much, and your grammar.
A troll isn't an ugly person. A troll is, well, someone who sucks. Sorry.
| Sara chapter 9 . 9/6/2007
Honey, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you have TOTALLY RAPED CANON UP THE BUM!
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE take remedial English classes! Everything about this story is just WRONG. For God's sake, just STOP IT NOW!
| Flamespirit-eth chapter 10 . 8/16/2007
TROLL in the DUNGEONS! Troll in the dungeons!
| St. Danger chapter 1 . 8/11/2007
Tolkien is doing barrel rolls in his grave, J.K Rowling is begging to be put out of her misery, and anyone in the world who is literate and a fan of Lord of the Rings and Harry potter are plotting your demise. I have a feeling this is a troll, and even so, it's the WORST piece of writing I've EVER seen. And trust me, I have seen a lot of pitiful writing. Please, delete this story and save some poor reader's soul.
You are mentally unstable, and not in the good kind of way, so good-bye and please go back to kindergarten.
| elenamindollin chapter 9 . 8/10/2007
wow. i just found the worst piece of writing on the face of the planet. i wrote better than this in kindergarten.
| Wolf chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
You are PATHETIC! Have you nothing better to do with your time than deliberately write crap to gain attention? Clearly you feel unloved and unnoticed and I'm sorry about that. But instead of writing bullshit, why don't you hang yourself? I assure you, you'd be doing the world a favour.
I HATE TROLLS!
| WickedStorms chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
i was wondering why everyone was reviewing this fic and not others, but I just noticed everyone is dropping a line saying they hate it. you give well thought out characters a bad name, it is stuff like this why everyone won't give decent fics a try coz they've been scared off by you guys. please i suggest a major re-draft! but i see you don't care.
| LysPotter chapter 9 . 8/6/2007
I know I just reviewed.
Not to be mean or anything. But is English your first language?
It just seems like you're making mistakes that could be connected a lesser knowledge of the language.
If so, I commend you for writing in an unfamiliar language!