YES! Havoc is coming back to kick some ass... (I'm only on the 5th out of 20 chapters and I already felt I just HAD to review. Keep up the good work!

An excellent job.

Another great chapter, to another great story Peptuck. I don't believe that there is such a thing as a British accent however. There are English, Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish accents, and many many others in the United Kingdom. British also covers the few remaining colonies such as Gibralter and Ascention. I might be nitpicking. I am really enjoying this story. Would love to see you finish Mako though. Thats all from me.

Good to see that this isn't dead, in any case, I enjoy the writing, even though I'm not a terribly big fan of the games.

-The quote is good. Still, I think it would have fit better in the context of the previous chapter.

-"Growling with predatory hunger"-good use of personification.

-Hundred Fists...as I always try to speak my mind honestly in reviews, I'll go on a limb and ask if this is another 40K reference. I couldn't help but be reminded of the Imperial Fists (or Crimson Fists if one's including second thoughts).

-Your take on Boyle is interesting and I guess, in a sense, appropriate. Exactly how a desire not to meddle leads in to prematurely using the ion cannon on Temple Prime remains to be seen, but I guess people can change over the course of a few months. Early days yet after all.

-It's hard to classify Karrde's speech as appropriate or not, in light of one of the chapter quotes establishing him as a 'people person' (at least, say, compared to Rawne). On the one hand, him being touched by his soldiers' loyalty feels appropriate. On the other, his awkwardness, while also appropriate in a sense, also seems out of place for someone who's able to see faces rather than pieces per se, to actually put such sight into words. Still, the section was well done overall.

-I'd say that Colt's sneaking around was a good job of making game mechanics more realistic, what with justifying unprotected SAMs so far away from the main bulk of the Nod force. Still, Firehawks somehow finding a gap also seems to be stretching it.

As a minor note, "Caprica Two-Six?" Take away the "two" and I can't help but be reminded of 'Battlestar Galactica...'

-Nice job in describing the Avatar's virtual sensory pod-the effect seems very 'Noddish.' I'm also guessing that such intergration is your way of justifying Nod's bi-pedal walkers as opposed to GDI phasing them out in the context of human-machine connection inefficiency.

-"It was like God took a bucket of hell, pissed in it, and then poured it on the men below."

And Noah thought water was bad...lol just the same.

Overall, good chapter.

I apologize for being ten days late and the like and not even logging in to review properly, however I wrote this in a bit of a hurry. Well done yet again and I await the next installment of your epica. Perhaps this time I shalln't have to wait so long! I can hope, I suppose. Till next time!

Chapter XIX: Last Call

There was a momentary pause. “So, what shall we talk about?”

“First off, what are you?” Rawne asked, starting to settle down, and not gripping the rifle so tightly.

[Interesting characterization and interaction. I’m not sure if Legion is child-like or extremely cunning and trying to lull Rawne into a sense of complacency]

only I appear to actually have a superior degree of self-awareness.”

[I think either “appear to have a superior” or “I actually have a degree of self-awareness”]

There was a moment of silence as the AI let that sink in.

[I think this would’ve matched the narrative a little more in Rawne’s paragraph immediately below, as the focus really changes to him in this sentence]

Rawne found it rather unsettling to meet someone who was willing to treat him the same way he had treated his own troops.

[Interesting double-standard, but by no means uncommon]

The Major didn’t have a nametag, but the two troopers assigned to guard him had come to name him “Douche.”

[I think this is ironic, as he's verbally attacking fanatic "Noddies" instead of annoying the guards]

“War is inseparable from politics, but the advent of the television has made them both butt-buddies with Hollywood.”

[Odd, I’d have expected something with more venom]

No one who says “I’m fine” like that is fine,

[Funny how often people still try it]

Director Boyle doesn’t need to know about this.”

[And the rift opens wider…]

“Ah, Commander!” LEGION’s voice said, cheery in the way that only a suspiciously-unhinged AI could be.

[I love the snappy portrayal]

Translation: right the hell now. You didn’t keep Killian Qatar, or any high-level Nod officer, waiting if they said to come at your convenience.

[Funny how “niceties” work, isn’t it?]

but the tall, selnder woman

[slender]

Rawne considered his troops chess pieces, but that was because he understood that if he saw them as faces, then it would become personal, and he couldn’t do his job if it became personal. Jose had been forced to look into the faces of men and women who trusted him, and who had looked up to him and followed him, before he ended their lives.

[Interesting way of dividing field with strategic command]

It felt a little shorter than before, but I liked how the build-up was written more than the wind-down that came. Either way, your writing is still excellent and I’ll be watching for the next installment.

You have no idea how happy I was when I trudged back from classes and found that you had updated TW!

Another excellent chapter, I love how the characters of Rawne and Karrde are contrasted against each other. They make perfect rivals.

"Parker was happy to oblige; the opportunity to paste Nod – and to help young soldiers paste Nod troops – was too good to pass up."

As usual, I can't get enough of Havoc!

Hoping that you'll update soon,

Falls-44

Well it was a long wait but a worth while one, you don't fail to disappoint as always. I wonder how you'll evolve LEGION as a character in your story? It'll be quite the challenge I'm sure.

I can't wait for GDI to bring the fight to not now, that's going to be awesome! And I can't even begin to describe my anticipation for when the battle at Sarajevo finally rolls around, despite that time likely being about two years away.

On another note, can we have some kind of after action report on that naval battle you decided to not actually write? Nothing really vivid, I just kind of want to know what ships were sunk and get a vague idea of how that battle played out. I'm sure you can fit that neatly into a small paragraph somewhere in your next chapter. Of course I won't be insulted if you can't fit it anywhere, no pressure or anything, it'd be nice though.

Excellent work as always my friend, I await your next installment!

Absolutely brilliant. You've trapped the feeling of the universe almost perfectly. Not only that the way the military is presented is something I have to admire.

Perhaps you'd consider helping me in a project or two?

Can't wait for the next update.

I usually give out a single review after reading an entire story, but after the sheer awesomeness of this chapter, I have to say something. THIS, is what I have always seen in the tiberium series, why I've played every one of its games despite the irritation at the cartoonishness of the later ones. They've always been more serious than the other C&C games, and your story has brought out precisely the kind of actual-world warfare feel I always saw in the setting (im not going to rant on C&C, so please dont report me :).

I've rarely read military fiction written with such care for detail. You obviously understand how warmachines and soldiers work in real life, and you have no trouble putting it into words. More than that however, you manage to pair this with the ability to accurately convey what a person would actually feel and do when caught up in such events. No unbelievable heroics (havok being the exception, but then again, he's havok.), no plot-based invincibility, it dosen't feel as though your characters are being kept alive out of convenience, but that you just happen to be describing the stories of those who're managing to survive. By far my favorite scene was where the inops officer actually did the human thing and surrendered rather than suddenly develop a bad case of laststanditis. Easily one of my favorite war stories ever.

im ashamed to admit that when i saw that you'd recently updated the story i basically giggled with glee. i think you pulled off this chapter really well, its pretty evident you think deeply about the interactions you write about rather than copypaste from a tom clancy novel.

just finished reading your new chapter. Marvelous!

I just love the unverving effect Legion has on just about anyone except Kane. I'd like to see a greater role of Legion, can you at least

make ONE occasion where all of human nod follower are awed and appalled by the power of Marked of Kane cyborg army? Liked the last mission

in Kane's wrath. I would just be too interesting to see Rawen and his followers realizing that the prohet was aiming higher than any of them could

hope to climb.

UPDATE SOON!

at last! at last! I've been waiting for soo long for an update of yours.

Yeah. I can only echo the many reviews here, your's truely an artwork.

On irritating thing though, when you are writting the conversation, maybe you should consider tagging who is talking what. I had trouble identifying

if it was Legion or Rawen talking.

Excellent Story!

I absolutely love your re-write of the Tiberium War Novel.

Your Legion Characterisation is perfect. You did a great job with the rest of the characters as well. Keep up the great work!

The only thing I noticed that was incorrect was the Chapter Numbering. 20 is XX in Roman numerals. You still have it as XIX or 19.

My congratulations to your proof-readers on being so good at their jobs.