I have a request to make,please dont let General Kilian Qatar let Commander Rawne convince Kane to let her live and secretly help her go into hiding or defect and if possible have a relationship going on between ,by the way she looks LUSH in her uniform.

Good chapter overall. The pacing was good and the flow constant. Kind of different from previous ones considering that the POV was entirely from GDI but you indicated that this would be balanced out next chapter.

As for the pistol thing and sergeant thing...well, I'm not that surprised. You know an author knows little about the military or weapons when a division is portrayed as having 22 soldiers (SC Ghost: Nova) and when a shotgun is portrayed as having the range and accuracy of a sniper rifle (RE: Apocalypse).

o_o

This is good. Very good. Nice length, a flowing writing style, and a distinct lack of grammatical mistakes. Keep it up.

I've said it before (well, I think), and I'll say it again.

You are the man.

Seriously. I've never played anything of Command and Conquer, and I feel like I already know the universe because of how detailed and neat your descriptions are. I'm not military, nor will I probably ever be, but I do love reading about military-style action such as this. You do an excellent job portraying just how gritty and tough war really is, not all pretentious and neat it is on most TV shows and movies.

I agree with your rant at the end of this chapter, though. I know little about military, but even I'm not stupid enough to believe some half-thought load of crap like that. If I took a pistol over a rifle for a 50-yard shot? I deserve to die for idiocy after I miss.

Good chapter. Always the descriptive one, eh?And I agree with you about the long range handgun shot. What will be next? using .44 Magnum to kill a fly with a headshot from 2500 meters? It was so impossible. I have some experience with rifles and handguns and it appals me that someone can be that stupid. Well it's obvious bigger gun- more power- longer barrel- greater effective range? Now I see it's not

Hey, great writing so far. I really liked your description of, well, everything. They really don't show much of life and cities in Tiberium Wars. The way you write is great- it really sucks you in. Well, enough from me. Hope you will complete this story!

This is great. I love it when someone puts real effort into novelizing a game. Are you going to have a scrin point of veiw?

your strory is awseome and i agree nod does show more religousness toward tiberium

While it's obvious that this is a fic that comes under the 'action' genre, I think kudos should be given for your depictions of the aspects of the C&C universe mid 21st century society, ranging from the sleek cityscapes to references to the yellow zones.

Also good use of continuity, what with mentioning of previous commanders and events. Admittedly I had to refresh my memory on wikipedia but still, continuity is something I appreciate being factored into reading and writing. Makes it seem more realistic.

Anyway, good chapter overall, but I think that too much may have been included or too little in the prologue; for the bulk of it we're given briefings, exposes, etc. yet at the end, relatively suddenly, the pacing speeds up dramaticly, what with Nod and GDI troops suddenly moving out. Kinda feels like an add-on rather than an intergrated part of the story in a sense. Still, that's just me.

Once again, good job.

Nice

Admittedly I'm not the most well informed individual of the Command and Conquer universe, considering that, when it comes to sci-fi RTS's, I'm more inclined to StarCraft (shot).

Still, that didn't stop me from enjoying this. You've done some interesting things with the writing, namely with GDI, how tiberium is instantly regarded as abherant upon mention. Kind of like an implication that, in its own way, GDI is as fanatical as Nod.

Admittedly I'm no military nut but from what I understand, "Commander", at least capitalised, seems to be an incorrect rank for both GDI and Nod, given that it's used by the Navy (at least in common fiction, which uses the US/NATO rank system), not land forces such as the Army, the equivalent of which would be Lieutenant Colonel. Still, rank structure could have changed by the mid-21st century, or I'm wrong. Either's possible.

As for Kane...heh, still the supervillian that we can all expect. Even being incinerated in an ion cannon blast isn't enough to keep a good villian down.

Anyway, great job so far. Considering that I only know the basics of the C&C storyline, it should be interesting to see where this goes.

Great story! Hope you update!

Hmm. Interesting. This is fairly well written, and well thought out. A little on the short side, but this is the prologue and you're just setting the stage. I don't think you'll run into the trap many C&C writers make in staying too true to game mechanics, so the only other piece of advice i have is, hold back. An odd piece of advice, but sometimes you do need to flesh things out before you get to more exciting parts of the story. As a writer, you might be tempted to fastforward, but that usually causes you headaches down the line. Best of luck.

...I'm not sure whether to call you mad for starting yet another novelization or genius for it.

Then again, it might be a little bit of column a, a little bit of column b.

Inspiration from Stargate SG1 eh? I loved the CnC games as a kid, havent had the time for computer games in ages. So, fresh material that you can surprise me with is always nice. But do try and work on both Zelda tales? :) later friend.