Reviews for moon knows
Kiki675 chapter 2 . 8/15/2010
I liked the story line, your grammer could use work though. XD
Desired Dreams-XS8018 chapter 2 . 12/17/2009
the story and plot was good, but you need to work on your grammar, usage, and punctuation. you use past tense verbs with present tense subjects and it make it hard to comprehend, what you can try id type up your story in Microsoft word if u have a PC (or the equivalent of that in a mac) and that will tell you your spelling, usage, punctuation, and grammar mistakes and help you correct them :) after some hard work your stories can be really good! :D
sasukegirl4 chapter 2 . 3/30/2008
I love It!
Mrs. Aang chapter 2 . 2/1/2008
Nice job. Your english wasnt that bad. It was a nice pairing and a nice story. TOKO 4EVER!
DeathbyInk chapter 2 . 10/18/2007
I enjoyed reading this story!
insomniastalker chapter 1 . 8/15/2007
I thought it was very good.

Your english is very good already, keep working on it!

Where are you from anyways?

Please write back!
Steph chapter 2 . 7/23/2007
I love them togeter there so cute to

love the story
NoLongerWriting-AbandonedAccou chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
Mkay, well I checked this out earlier and you changed it since then but it is still really bad.

The idea is okay and all but you have a lot to learn about grammar, format, detail, vocabulary and punctuation.

Also, I wouldn't review yourself to comment back to people who review you. This site has a review reply option sent with the email notice that has the review. There is a link there.

Okay, so some of what I noticed is that your not using words correctly. I am guessing your either really young or somewhat new to the english language.

I'm going to copy and paste some of your sentances and correct them and show you what you did wrong for future reference you can use to help you.

Your writing-


Toph hasn’t find something interesting at all and put no attention to the crowd, all she does to interest herself was mumbling Iroh’s song. Suddenly, she felt some spark of happiness, someone was coming behind schedule and it was someone she knew.

“Iroh..! Group..!” Toph shouted as she runs straight to the door. She cuddles Iroh, but there was no response from him.

“Iroh..?” Toph comes into confusion, all the tables along with her parents gasped.

She was hugging someone else..! At least Toph knows that Iroh was not this muscular.

She tried to reach around when she finally comes to his face.

“Zuko?” Toph realised, she quickly moved her hand away while someone caught her hand, and this one finally feels like Iroh’s.

“Iroh..? Zuko..?” Toph comes to a halt.


My correction-

Toph hadan't found anything interesting in the room and paid no attention to the crowd. All she had to entertain herself was humming to a song Iroh used to sing. Suddenly, a movement caught her attention and it was someone she knew, who had arrived late.

“Iroh! everyone!" Toph shouted, running straight up to those she remembered and intended to hug Iroh and she did but there was no response from him.

“...Iroh?” Toph asked confused, still somewhat hazy from her excitment.

All the people at the tables in the room let out several gasps.

She realised that she wasn't hugging Iroh. The slippers on her feet blocked some of the vibrations and she grabbed the wrong person. She knew that know, since she's sure Iroh never had such muscle and was never so much taller then her.

She tried to reach around him, until she faced the man she hugged.

“Zuko!” Toph realised, she quickly removed her hands just as someone reached out and caught one of them

"Iroh! ...Zuko!" Toph came to a halt.


-That is the correct way.

You tend to mix words up. You replace "was" with "is" and "to" with "as" and so on and so forth.

You need to go to some forums and ask for a beta reader. Your story was incredibly hard to understand and with such mistakes and so many of them, they are not at all enjoyable.

I hope you learn more and wish you luck.
Anime Insaniac chapter 1 . 7/15/2007
Continue please, you are leaving too much open for you to not continue. Though you do need some work in what you type up, say a sentence to yourself and if it doesn't sound right to you, chances are it isn't.

- Anime Insaniac
codename-suigetsu chapter 1 . 7/15/2007
okay... thanks for reminding me, it doesn't means that way actually, hahaha, yeah, send me those pm and correct me.. please...
Maladin chapter 1 . 7/14/2007
Interesting plot, but there is quite an amount of mistakes. I will tell you about them in a PM if you wish (I do not want to clog the review to much).

On another note, avoid to ask for a number of reviews to post another chapter. It actually does more harm than good, considering there are many authors who simply do not review once they notice such a line.