|Reviews for My Brothers Love|
| Guest chapter 15 . 4/12
I like a lot of your stories, but truthfully this one is not good. The idea is interesting, but there are many plot holes and inconsistancies. Also, about Jamie, she gets no character development and seems to exist for the sole purpose of making Harry look good. If they both defeated voldemort, then why don't they both go after Quirrel?
| mageofmyth chapter 42 . 4/11
Very interesting. Will there be a sequel, involving the rest of their years?
| LunaDragAngel chapter 42 . 4/9
I read this story after My Life. I agree that they have some similarity in the two brothers & sister, bad parents, good Snape/Malfoy, good sister relationship, intelligence/gifts, etc. But I believe you did very well in keeping them separate in their own storylines.
I liked My Life, but I feel this one went much smoother. The other story's abuse was more in depth/graphic, but I felt the talents/luck were too abundant & compressed.
I really liked the feel of the closing & Jaime's reflection on her Brother's love, family, etc. It had the feel of a movie or novels epilogue. ;D
Did you continue this storyline? I'd really like to see where it goes with their group/allies & talents. I'd also like to know how you work out how Dumbledore & the Potters get what's coming to them.
| Snowball A.K.A. WinterWolf chapter 42 . 3/28
can't wait for more!
| Psyka chapter 42 . 3/15
Awesome I bloody love it please please update again soon
| Aries-Antares chapter 1 . 2/28
That is sadly extremely stupid way of
| Guest chapter 18 . 2/11
your story is mostly inconsistend:
- Harry and Jamie had already discovered that they could use wandless magic while growing up (so why do you write in this chapter that they used their wands until they discovered they could do it without)
- the two of them have also brewed several potions before attending Hogwarts (Wolfsbane was mentioned as one of them but now it's sill an incomplete potione)
- druing their first school year there are also several mistakes in your plot line:
- the dragon was brought at least twice to the astronomie tower - the amount of points reduced and the people involved is different, so are the follow up detentions
- Draco, Harry, Hermione, and Jamie first realize that Quirell is after the stone (and also why) during their detention in the Forbidden Forrest but then they put the clues together again druing the exams as if this never happend
I should advise you to reread your whole story and also to print it. Highlight the important events and you will see what I mean or make notes on each chapter and its key events while reading. Sould you rewrite it, a time line might help. As I have no idea, wether you rewrite one chapter at time or the whole story in one go I'll just describe the way I'm working: As I am currently working on a book that is easily as complex als J.R.R. Tolkiens works I had to find a way not to get lost. I got myself a lot of loose paper, (color-)pencils, eraser and glue and made a timeline. As you used an all knowing narrator and switched fiew points you might want to use more than one timeline - one below the other. The next step would be to write downt the key events in the collor that represents the character from whose perspective you want to write that event. If all characters are involved and the narrator is just an observer on the outside use a neutral color or just the pencil. Once the whole plotline is established and you have yourself a paper role (sheets of paper glued together according to timeline) you could breake the whole thing down into posibile chapters (if they get to long and have to much information you could split that up into two parts as they have done with the last Harry Potter movie). The easiest way would be to write chronologically. Quite frankly, I don't do that because sometimes I have an idea and write one or two diffent chapters in one go. They are usually of the same event but they are told of different perspectives. That may sound confusing to you but I have to do that since my timeline consists of two main characters roughly thirty important characters and several political views along with just about 5.000 years of history (including different cultures and languages). I've been working on it for quite some time and I'll be working on it for another few years before I'll send it to publishers, that's if they want it.
What is important, however, is that you have a very good struckture in mind befor starting. I've read other works from you that a far bether than this one.
| Fyreheart chapter 2 . 1/8
No matter how many times I read this chapter, I can't make sense of it.
Firstly, why did Lily decide that Godric defeated Voldemort? She wasn’t there and all three children had bleeding lightening marks on their foreheads. What was her reasoning? Why did Dumbledore believe her? Wouldn’t he have scanned all three children and realized that two were magically exhausted?
Secondly, why would Sirius Black have been arrested and nearly convicted without the DMLE ever once speaking to the Potters? You didn’t have any type of background to explain it, such as Lucius Malfoy attempted to get Sirius convicted so that his son would be next in line to be Head of the Black Family and bribed the entire DMLE to look the other way. It’s not very believable, but it’s more credible than arresting someone for betraying a family without once asking the family if he was the betrayer.
Thirdly, you say that these little children, who don’t even have wands yet, are at NEWT levels. How?
Fourthly, neglect is very different from abuse. Letting the elves take care of Jamie and Harry and not getting them birthday gifts may have been neglectful, but you made no transition from not caring about the other two of the triplets to actively beating one of them for no reason. The sheer violence and vitriol that James spewed had no credibility as there was nothing to explain it.
| Guest chapter 42 . 11/24/2013
| beautyfan0102 chapter 42 . 11/23/2013
really excellent story did not to stop reading but sad it came to end it was fantastic
| Nina Lostboy chapter 42 . 10/16/2013
D: that's it?
:( but I like this story! I wanna read more! I wanna hear how they all find the truth, and what all the kids are gonna grow up to be! And and and and and mmmmmoooooorrrrreeeee!
Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top? :(
| Allen's Matchmaker chapter 42 . 10/9/2013
It's a movie-like ending. . . . . . . . . . . Please! Where's the sequel?
| beauty12 chapter 42 . 9/7/2013
great story really-really liked it.
| Kittens Kat chapter 42 . 8/17/2013
THIS IS A VERY GOOD STORY! IN THE STATUS SECTION IT SAYS COMPLETE. IS THERE MORE? THANK YOU!
| Lw117149 chapter 42 . 8/12/2013
wow I loved this story i was wondering if you would be continuing it ads a sequel?