|Reviews for A Shadowed Soul|
| xJig of Deathx chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
The best fanfic ive read so far good job... read mine okay lol
| Aariya07 chapter 12 . 2/15/2008
Brilliant story! I love everything about it, especially the shadow stalking cause I put the exact same thing in my story. I love Harry/Kai, I think he's so sexy. Though I would have loved slash more, I don't mind cause Tonks is possibly the coolest chick in HP (most of the reason I prefer slash is because the females in HP aren't very strong characters, except Hermione, and I find Harry and Hermione a gross pairing).
This one is definitely going on my favorites and C2. Please update soon cause I'm dying to read MORE!
| gaul1 chapter 12 . 2/15/2008
good chapter, keep up the good work, byes
| DeliaDee chapter 12 . 2/15/2008
Weasley is our king. He always does the dumbest thing. His ego's gonna take a ding. Weasley is our king. - I apologize for this outburt; I simply couldn't resist. :)
| Knyghtshade chapter 12 . 2/15/2008
Wicked cool! I can't wait for the next chapter! _
| Darksider chapter 12 . 2/15/2008
Absolutely awesome stuff.
Bit disappointed about the non-use of Harry's name (i usually avoid these like the plague) but you have good reasons for it and your writing is superior enough that it doesn't bother me like the other stories that use alternate names do.
Seriously, i fully intended to abandon the story after i realised you were calling him Kai all the time but somehow, still not sure how, I just couldn't seem to stop reading.
All in all, a very impressive bit of work and one I gladly follow with delight.
| A Reviewer chapter 12 . 2/13/2008
I am completely enchanted. Pardon the pun.
A remarkable tale of mayhem, magic, revenge and love in many of its unusual forms.
First, I would like to commend you one your take of 'magic'. ONe of my biggest complaints about canon can best be summed up as 'where is the magic?'. Most of the 'magic' shown in the books are things that are often presented (albeit in different ways) in your average half-way decent sci-fi. Sometimes in much more creative and practical manners too. Why split your soul into seven pieces when you can create a thousand clones of yourself, afterall.
Second, HarryxTonks is likely my very favorite HP pairing. You have not only used that one, but you have also prevented it from taking over the plot, or allowing it to be an obscure bit of backdrop to simply illustrate the fact that Harry/Kai is 'still human' or some such.
Third, great plot. 's awesome. 'nuff said.
Keep up the amazing work, reading this story to this point has been a rare pleasure and I look forward to more.
| Sword'sfunPen'sbetter8P chapter 12 . 2/13/2008
awsome fic cant wait for the next chapter
| Rogue7 chapter 12 . 2/13/2008
Loving the story, and the rhythm you have created.
Cannot wait to see what happens next
| superninjamonkey chapter 12 . 2/12/2008
Excellent story. I absolutely LOVE this type of Harry . to my extreme disapointment, this is only the second good one I have found, and the first seems to be discontinued as it has not been updated in 2 years. Anyway, your grammer and spelling are slightly above average for fanfic writers, meaning there are probably about 2-5 a chapter. It is a very well done story and so far there haven't been any major plot holes, and the ones I noticed were so small they were hardly noticable and easily ignored/forgotten. The one flaw that I think merits any attention is that some of you sentences are slightly simplistic. Very good story though, keep it up!
| Apocalypso-33 chapter 12 . 2/12/2008
Hey, good fic you've got here, very entertaining. I usually don't review, but I thought I'd mention something. It's, uh... probably not a good idea to have the first word of your summary be 'abandoned' :P You might want to change that, it might help with hits and reviews.
Good luck writing
| Final Sleeper chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
All right, I read through the chapters you asked for (1-4) again, well your whole story actually, still quite good, and the improvements you made to the first chapters were good and improved the flow of your early story.
You ask for constructive criticism, so here you go... Okay, this may be a sort of point out some mistakes I noticed, please don't kill me for it, I try to be some what thorough.
I have noticed throughout the entire story several misspelled words mostly out of putting a wrong letter in or leaving one out, but that really doesn't bother me as everyone does that including myself, your grammar is remarkable good compared to the normal level on this site.
In chapter 9 you state that Lucius and the Hogwarts Board of Governors will be reviewing the files on Kai, however you state earlier and later in chapter 11 that Lucius is on the run and being hunted, so how is he able to gain access to this information, let alone be present for the meeting?
The time you state in chapter 12 is some what off from what I know on the laps completed while running, two kilometers or as I know it 1.2 miles in 15 minutes is possible at a walk without heavy work or being physically fit, the military when you have dispensation for medical reasons requires you to walk two miles in 20 minutes, and those are generally people who have wounded or injured legs. I would just say to raise it to three or four kilometers personally.
I have to say I like your portrayal of Draco in this chapter, he is very Slythrin in how he acts and works, not a brash loud mouth idiot like so many make him, even Rowling.
Your time is off, 6 missed obstacles should add up to 1:30 so the total added time is 9:17 making a total of 77 owed. Yeah, I figure I just annoyed you with this letter.
Okay, that is all I really have for now, hope you don't mind me saying all this too much. The final bit of this is just my asking some questions and answering your challenge from chapters back about rituals. (I apologize ahead of time for this, I love Greek mythology)
My question is why did you make Hades rituals based around murder, I could understand it involving those who have died and such but not really the murder. I have always seen Hades as a fair ruler of the after life, both the Ellysian Fields and Tartarus. I would see the child murder as more of something Ares would demand.
Suggestions for future rituals with the gods, several different types of messenger spells from Hermes. Strength altering spells form Heracles. I would like to see Nike (my favorite goddess) but can't really think of what that ritual would involve or the results would be. My other favorite goddess though would have to be Hecate, and I can see several rituals for her, and that she would seem be closely tied to Kai as she is a goddess of the night in a dark way that would reflect his shadow abilities and rituals that would involve them, as well in some ways Hecate is also considered a goddess of magic so that could tie in as well as being a goddess of the moon, so rituals involving werewolves would also work for her.
Well that is it for me for now, please feel free to hate me for such a long review and my words. I can't wait however for your next chapter and too see where you take this story in the future. You're an amazing author and I can see you getting even better. By the way I love the longer chapters you are doing recently, sure they take longer to get out but they are worth it.
Well, good luck on your writing...
| Rainbow2007 chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
i love it
| Luc chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
Perfect! Finally some action. lol. Especially when I missed the last two updates. Well, more good reading for me now ;)
I especially like the tension around the characters. Draco- Blaise. Blaise-Hermione. Snape-everyone. Ron- Kai.
And yet the tension is not for tensions sake. Not unresolved. It's just thrilling.
| Makurayami Ookami chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
well that was good. bye bye to him. keep going. i like that he challenges blaise.