Reviews for The Dursley Witch
RedShirt1453 chapter 6 . 10/10/2019
So far there is a lot of telling and not showing in this story. More Dialogue and inner thoughts from Roisin would help this story a lot.
RedShirt1453 chapter 2 . 10/8/2019
Honestly, this chapter should have had Dialogue in it.
FiberBard chapter 109 . 8/22/2019
I really enjoyed this long story. You did very well with the little details of world building, and kept the characters consistent while also managing character growth. That can be a tricky balance, but I think you really nailed it.
It was an interesting change, reading the story from an OC point of view. I didn't expect to like it, but it added a bit of refreshing interest to a familiar tale. I was greatly pleased that adding this one character vastly improved not only Harry's life expectancy, but also his happiness (with someone steering him away from Stalker-Ginny), and his relation with his remaining maternal family.
Sorry I didn't comment much in other chapters, as I didn't want to slow down that long... took me several days to read all of this, but it was totally worth the time. _
I usually read on AO3, so finding your stories was pure luck, due to a recommendation from someone there. Glad I followed that link.
Sheelahdog chapter 28 . 8/20/2019
Sheelahdog chapter 27 . 8/19/2019
Hooray for future inter house unity
Sheelahdog chapter 26 . 8/19/2019
Love the idea of code of conduct. I also like the Parseltongue insults and how she .wrong. I'm glad she is starting to see Harry. I was pretty unhappy with the character in the beginning of the book but she is growing.
GinnyMadLudwig chapter 83 . 8/14/2019
You said in this chapter that "Harry looked vulnerable, and Roisin gentled..." I'm not actually sure that 'gentled' is a word, maybe 'softened' would be better word choice. Other than that, I like the redemption of Petunia Dursley. It didn't make sense; if they hated him so much, why they wouldn't give him to an orphanage? And in all of the books, Dumbledore is described as perfect (well, mostly). He has to have SOME flaws, though I do tend to think that describing him as a bumbling idiot with complete favoritism, as you did in 'The Paths Diverge' and this book, does go a bit overboard-if only because there needs to be some kind of adult magical anchor in charge so that it seems more true to real life.
GinnyMadLudwig chapter 71 . 8/14/2019
I'm 1/2 chinese, 1/2 indian and I live in Singapore. I've never heard the name Jia Li before, other than myself, so I was going to go CRAZY when I saw it here and did about 15 double-takes! Other than that, I didn't quite understand the part about the brake-up with Blaise. First of all, I was really sad, but I don't quite understand the bit about Roisin thinking that 5min was enough during the first shouting match. Was the first shouting match just for show, and then the second one was genuine, or...?
Sheelahdog chapter 21 . 8/12/2019
This . I liked the poetry.
GinnyMadLudwig chapter 19 . 8/11/2019
I'm really sorry that your twin sister died...:(. On a happier note, I REALLY love your writing and have read all of your Harry Potter Fanfics! You asked for constructive criticism-but I don't really see anything to criticize. I love how Roisin makes her comeback on the idiot professor during testing and how she defends her cousin. Really makes you wish you had someone like her in your life. Also, the look into Slytherin customs and life is FASCINATING-love that you looked at it from another point of view. Even though I'm a hardcore Ravenclaw I'm starting to think that Slytherins are compassionate too; all those details that Harry misses, like the fact that Slytherins have stopped teasing him momentarily, really add up! Happy 50th Birthday to your Mum and happy vacation!
Nihil Asara chapter 4 . 8/10/2019
What a weird twist... not sure anymore what the point is of having her be a dursley when it turns out she's all magical family all of a sudden. Sort of undermines the setting imo. I'll give it a few more chaps though. Would have played up the Dudley/Roison dursleys dynamic more particularly following the pig tail incident if I were you instead of introducing an OC so quickly that so thoroughly undermines the canon setting. At the very least don't front-load so much exposition about her and introduce her more gradually.
Sheelahdog chapter 20 . 8/9/2019
I think it is no one tells Harry or Hermione about Imbolic. You'd think the Weasley's would know.
Sheelahdog chapter 19 . 8/8/2019
I'm sorry for your loss.
Sheelahdog chapter 18 . 8/8/2019
Sheelahdog chapter 16 . 8/7/2019
Hmmm second cousin in Gryffindor should promote
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