|Reviews for One Night With Allura|
| LancesKitten chapter 1 . 6/19
This is an old favorite of mine... Was fun to re-read it! :)
| honeyspice4ever chapter 1 . 1/18
Very, very good story; sensual love scene :D Keep it up!
| Shadow Wolf chapter 1 . 3/5/2013
Awesome story. I am a huge fan of the Voltron force so this story is Anything but horrible.
| AA - MamaBirdCat chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
Very delightful story filled with Romance, tension, and awkwardly funny moments..
| Tune4Toons chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
Hey! I'm here on behalf of the RLt Archive Staff. Looks like things heated between them pretty quickly. It's funny how the situation with the two of them and being at the risk of getting caught Allura's nanny must've been both awkward and amusing all at the same time haha. I like how playful they are with each other; it shows they're very comfortable with one another.
[Keith's simple, two piece, blue pajamas paled greatly against her outfit.]
You have some pretty nice, vivid places of description, like this one for example. It's very easy to imagine.
[The uniform she wore now, with its overly large gold buttons, three layers of pink and white fabric, high collar, lace frills, and knee high pink and white boots] [Nanny was a portly woman. She was in her mid 50's; her raven black hair had all but turned gray. Her face had quite a few wrinkles, mainly due to stressing over the princess, instead of age.]
But be careful not to jam descriptions in all at once. (Rule of three?) With jammed descriptions, the story tends to pause momentarily. One way to smooth those over can be to incorporate descriptions with actions to help move the plot along and/or show character (eg. [Even the knee-high pink and white boots made walking uncomfortable]).
["Which isn't far from the truth," Allura thought to herself.] Moments like this got me confused about which lines were dialogue and which were inner thoughts (or if they were thoughts being said aloud?). Usually, italics without the quotations are clear to see as thoughts.
I'm not sure a prologue is needed either; it can be incorporated into the storyline itself without the need to have it as a separate thing if you still need it. Other than that, I like the humorous situation you set up. It seems like everyone likes to joke around there, hm? XD Except Nanny, of course. Someone's gotta keep the order around. Hope that helps! Cheers!
| WadeWells chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
I don't know how I missed this story, but I loved it! Thanks for posting it. It was just romantic and comical. Awesome fic!
| Star12296 chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
aww u havent updates this story in years but if ur reading this review i hope update this story again :p
| buffycorvin chapter 1 . 6/13/2010
| lucyferr chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
That was quite fun.
| Ms.MaraJade chapter 1 . 7/24/2007
I thought this was a very cute take on a future relationship for them. It was a little "racier" than my tastes normally prefer to read, but the physical play worked nicely into the storyline. My only confusion really was with the line: "Nanny didn't say anything, for she did not want to ruin the surprise that was planned for Allura." I didn't see this go further in the story, and I was wondering about this surprise. Did you plan to leave it out purposefully or did I just miss it? Lastly, I liked the humor involved. It showed a playful side to what their romance could be.