|Reviews for Globes of Grief|
| sleipnirfenris chapter 8 . 8/13/2007
aww the ending made me smile. And i'm still smiling! see? you're good!
| sleipnirfenris chapter 6 . 8/13/2007
Owen is an idiot. But then again i didn't need that chapter to tell me that. Poor Becky having a rough time of it. But why did jack and Ianto share the blow? I'm kind of cnofused about that part. if she's unconscious now doesn't that mean the others have to be affected as well?
| sleipnirfenris chapter 4 . 8/13/2007
Ah a happy jack. just what we like to see eh? Not that i dislike angsty jack either :P I see the plot is thickening... very interesting. I guess that's a side effect?
| sleipnirfenris chapter 3 . 8/13/2007
oh dear, things aren't going too well for torchwood then. Yes let's hope the poor girl doesn't drop dead. that was mean of jack not to tell her she would infact kill him but not to worry, he springs back up again. Like weeds I suppose. I hate weeds.
| IndeMaat chapter 8 . 8/11/2007
I quite liked this story. It had a promising alien adventure in it. I was a little disappointed that matter was wrapped up so quickly. I'll get to that in a moment. It was nice to see the little moments of off-topic banter such as with the umbrellas. The scene with the suddenly activated globe was quite good.
What irked me in the story was the Owen bashing in it in. I'll admit, he's done some stupid and irresponsible stuff on the Show. Those things, however, don't include drinking and driving, groping a patient (if the situation needs a doctor he behaves as one) and not thinking through the consequences of destroying an alien device that has a link to a patient. More on that later.
As I said, I liked the plot of this story, but there were a number of things that I think could have been clearer / better explained. I'll try to put my comments in the order of the chapters.
The police calls Torchwood. Why would the police call Torchwood? They don't like Torchwood. It's usually Torchwood that marches in on an investigation and then kicks them off. I can imagine they would if they saw what Becky could do themselves. Did they see it happen? 'cause if not, this would be a girl arrested on suspicion of murder and the police would do a full investigation themselves.
I would imagine that a person that was raped only a week ago would be quite uncomfortable with a stranger putting an arm around her shoulder and would try to pull away in a reflex. And why was Jack putting an arm around her shoulder anyway? He knows she may have the same alien device implanted, but he doesn't know much about how it works. He'd probably rather not die and wake up while a policeman was looking on. Also, I don't think a rape victim would be very eager to go anywhere near the place she was raped. It would be nice if Becky showed a little more emotion over that. And if she doesn't why isn't anyone (Gwen) wondering why she is being so cool about going back to the place she was raped?
How come they just get to take Becky from the police station. She's a minor and a suspect in a murder investigation, and any police officer friend of Gwen probably doesn't have a very high rank (so can't really decide who can be released). In a related note: why didn't Jack already check at the police station whether Becky might have a glove implanted in her (i.e. check for the scar)?
"Becky, we need to find the man who did this to you." Does Jack mean the rapist or whoever implanted the alien device in her? Or does he think that was the same person? Why does he think that was the same person?
Why did the rapist implant a device in his victims that could get him killed? That just sounds incredibly dumb, or that has to have a grand design behind it. Another thing I wondered: there were six months between the first two victims, only a week between the second and attempted third. Why would he have waited that long the first time? It would seem fitting if there are more globes out there.
Jack confronts Becky with her lost family to get her angry. How does Jack know about this? Did he read the police report while he waited for Gwen or had Tosh dug this up? It's a bit jarring that Jack knows about a fire that had a big impact on a person he only first met shortly before. I was waiting for a sentence that explained he did know her before (the outdoor chat in chapter four could have fitted it). It's not really important, just a mention somewhere how/where Jack had seen her background.
As to the chat in chapter four: why is Jack telling Becky all this stuff about himself? I don't think he even told Gwen much about himself. He didn't have to tell Becky about time travel. He could have said: there was an accident as a result of which I can't die.
And this brings me back to the point that Owen would not destroy an alien device that still had a link to a person. I'd sooner thing he would destroy one of the other globes to see the effect that had. Or that he might have destroyed it by accident because he dropped it while studying it. Another option is that Becky, after it came alive suddenly destroyed it because she thought that would break the link it had with her. She doesn't work for Torchwood; she doesn't know that she should be careful around alien devices. Owen does.
Anyway, then they find out destroying all globes will break the link entirely and that's where I got a bit disappointed. There is no explanation whatsoever why the alien devices were implanted. They're all destroyed and the implanter is destroyed. It looks like the explanation is never going to come. Which is particularly annoying because, as I already mentioned, why would a person gives someone else the means to kill him?
There were also a few minor points:
- Police stations don't have prison cells; they have holding cells.
- It says a couple of times 'bought' where 'brought' is meant.
- How sterrile was that medical room where Owen performed surgery on Becky's back?
In short, this was a nice story with a good idea behind it. I was just asking 'why?' a bit often.
| Torchedgirl chapter 8 . 7/29/2007
Very good, but a bit too happy for the likes of torchwood if u ask me. Tho when i think about it thats prolly what its gonna be like when the new series comes out in January. Oh well.
Well done :)
| quaint-little-categories chapter 8 . 7/28/2007
I LOVE you!
That was an awesome story!
i love how you introduced a new character and you could kinda get the vibe that Jack and Becky like each other but unlike other people you didn't write Gwen as a bitch.
I have no idea why so many people hate her!
Your authors note at the end...Does that mean there's gonna be a sequel? :)
Pretty, pretty please!
If you do do a sequel will you put Becky with Jack? Sorry i forget how old Becky is.
If you do do that PLEASE don't get rid of the Ianto/Jack flirting!
Sorry for the long review :p
| Lady Timelord chapter 8 . 7/28/2007
Ah yay! I don't have to poke you now, I can hug you instead! :D
Fab story! Shame it's over, but I see you're thinking of writing more stories which I think is fab!
| account1234 chapter 8 . 7/28/2007
Wow, i loved this!
Really cleverly done!
I don't usually like characters people have added in themselves but Becky was really well written :)
| account1234 chapter 6 . 7/28/2007
This is really good!
Please update soon!
| Torchedgirl chapter 6 . 7/27/2007
more now! OMFG this is great
| Lady Timelord chapter 6 . 7/27/2007
: eep! Where are you taking this? There has to be a way to break the link right? You're not gonna kill Becky are you? :( I might have to poke you if you do :P
And... cute stubborn mule :D teehee
| quaint-little-categories chapter 5 . 7/26/2007
NO! Don't kill Becky!
| Lady Timelord chapter 5 . 7/26/2007
heheheh at the 'Globe of Grief' and naming things mention!
and ep! at the rest! great though! :D
| Lady Timelord chapter 4 . 7/25/2007
Ah! Now *that* has got my brain wondering!
And, I think you're spoiling me with some Jack/Ianto refernces! fantastic you are! :P x