|Reviews for Sequal To DearS|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/24/2013
That was sooo Ren
| AlonelyExplosion chapter 1 . 5/31/2013
It was make sure to update soon don't change anything!
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
good and funny
| InfiniteReader chapter 1 . 7/13/2012
This was very funny I do hope there a next chapter :)
| PostiveCharm416 chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
ok thi funny and soon!
| Willy Dan chapter 1 . 2/2/2011
Ren is sooooooo beautiful. She and Takeya make a good couple!
| ValentineSin13 chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Miu was always so mean to Ren D
this is cute, you should continue it but im not making you good job btw
| DitchTheSchool chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
Stupid piece of shit
In the last chapter if u didn't read it
all the DearS can have sex and babies
Io said that Ren caused that change
Man u are stupid but other than that you story was good
but i would like it if china was a little more affection
| ClanCrusher chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
I honestly have no idea if I enjoyed it or not. Perhaps if you used proper formatting it would be at least semi-comprehensible.
| shinagame chapter 1 . 2/11/2009
My My you all are soo mean this fanfic is acutally very good. she really does capture miu's personallity becuase she is annoying and does stalk Takeya. the only thing wrong is the lack of spaces even if there were spaces you could still read it. (people always pick something to complain about). as for the Ren reproducing thing OMG! YOU SPOILED THE ENDING FOR ME I HAVEN'T EVEN READ THAT FAR (CRY!) now i'm sad but i'll still buy the rest of the manga only wow 2 more to go lol. but yeah post more would ya.
| takeya-yoshino chapter 1 . 5/14/2008
great story ,a little hard to read but good!
| Hiei-Is-Mine chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
OMG SPACES WOMAN!
Its terribly hard to read unless you space it out.
| mandapaaanduh chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
-dies laughing- Nyahahaha, crack fic
Ash you REALLY need to work on your paragraph spacing! XD And make sure it's proper English because even tho you know I understand it... Some other people don't -points to reviewers down below-
So... THERE :D
| Sichan chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
I didn't get to read all of it because you didn't use paragaphs and its just a block of confusion. But from what I did read, you didn't characterize Ren or Takeya right and I assume since you called Miu an "annoying little piece of shit" that you didn't characterize her right either. And your plot just doesn't capture DearS at all. There is more to Ren than just sex, especially at the end of the manga, and that's all this entire thing was; Ren trying to have sex with Takeya.
Also, at the end of the manga it said that because Ren was the gate (with the ability to reproduce) that her awakening as such changed ALL DearS biologically (because the gate is the key to all DearS) and so they were ALL able to reproduce. Here's the quote here, "Because the DearS are a race that has lost its ability to reproduce, the gate is the one exception...Ren's awakening acted as the trigger for the entire species of DearS to gain back their reproductive abilities. At least that's how Fina sees it," (Io).
You should work on characterizing them properly and comprehending the manga better. You need to also not have biases when writing fanfiction because it makes the story turn out ridiculous and unbelievable. Also, work on grammar and remember to separate each dialogue (the words between the quotation marks) into paragraphs and...well...having paragraphs in general.
| Faet chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
I would just like to comment that your english is atrocious. Your lack of paragraphs, proper punctuation, and at times horrendous spelling made it impossible for me to fully enjoy your story, as I had to reread the same line four or five times and mentally correct all your mistakes to understand it. There's this wonderful thing called commas; use them.
I also felt that you failed to capture the personality of the characters. I am a big DearS fan, and I just didn't feel that spirit of DearS in your story. Maybe if you payed more attention to the intricacies of the character's personalities other than letting Takeya and Ren have sex it would be a bit easier. It just seems to me that all good romances are lacking in sex scenes, which is a good thing. Sex / love.
I hope my critique of your writing was helpful. I only meant this as "constructive criticism" and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.