Reviews for A New Start
NANLIT chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
Huh, I never thought that Videl would be insecure about getting her hair cut. It makes sense, I guess. I think you should have had her father's reaction, though, since you had him early in the one-shot.
blueyblonde chapter 1 . 10/16/2008
i love it
Invisible Firebending Ninja chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
I know how that feels. When I was about ten or eleven (I'm eighteen now), I had to do all I could to stop from TRIPPING all over my own hair! So, when I was twelv, I got it cut boyish short like Videl's. I've worn it that way ever since and I love it. It goes well with my cloths, wich are also pretty guy-ish. Hey, just cuz I'm a girl dosn't mean I enjoy looking like one!

P.S.

'our harshest critic is our own self'? I've never hard that before, but it sounds cool.
Ms. Videl Son chapter 1 . 3/5/2008
Man...you've really got a talent for writing stories that are easy to identify with (or maybe I just share too much in common with DBZ characters...*thinks about it*...nah, not really). I, too, cut my hair back in high school (mostly b/c it was ratty) and it got dramatically shorter. I'd kept it down below my shoulders and shortened it so that the front was approx level with my chin and the hair in the back was practically all gone (Think Hinata from Naruto, almost). It wasn't nearly as traumatic as the time I decided to grow it out for my boyfriend, though...I had to keep reminding myself of all the feminist reasons it was okay to do so ; (It's short again now, though.)

Well, sorry for rambling (no, I haven't been drinking, hehe)...must be getting tired.

MVS
dbz-lover91 chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
Hi,

This was...unique. Most definitely.

I hope you appreciate my honesty but I didn't much adhere to the insinuations that Videl has a 'manly' countenance. Yes, the short hair cut is a bit less 'feminine' then what would be considered completely appropriate but I think she's still beautiful and that's not JUST because I love her.

Despite our personal opinions in regards to the matter, in the 'DBZ world' she is also considered beautiful. Sharpner is totally ga-ga over her and so is Gohan. Even Krillin remarks that she is 'quite the looker' to which Eighteen scowls jealously (Lol, gotta love that part) and the fact that she kicks BUTT makes her even more attractive and I'm a girl!(And I most definitely do NOT swing that way!) I think all of the above can be adduced to avail my argument. The nerve of those girls! I also don't think they WOULD do that. She IS the most popular girl in school. During the world tournament, did you see the girls that crowded around her whilst praising her? I think they genuinely admire her.

However, once again, your aptitude at writing is appreciable.

Bye!
ndesi62 chapter 1 . 11/12/2007
It's really cool. The style is short of short, but it suits the story well. And good luck with feeling better about yourself! )
S.S.4 Goku chapter 1 . 8/22/2007
Okay I Just Read This Fic And A Few Things Or Cut Her Hair Probably To Get Gohans Attention{in A Romantic Way} Was A Little Short Than I Hoped... Did Good Descriptions However,Like i said in Point2,it would be better All and i'll look out for more of your fics.
AvaLuna chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
It was great ) I hope you do more G/V in the future.

Ava
miss-apple-dbz chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
Okay, this is going to be a long one...

I love this story! I thought that it was very detailed and expressive and very well-thought off. Many fics out there about Videl complying to cut her hair because of Gohan's suggestion is mainly about her realizing that she likes him. This one however, I found it to be more of her relationship with her father (at least that what seemed to trigger her decision on the thought), and even if there were signs that she was beginning to be attracted to Gohan, she was still confused. It wasn't like 'Oh, I'll cut my hair because Gohan said so and I like him', which is what most other stories seem to show.

I also found that the way you wrote about her emotions very well done. In this story, she actually *has* some feelings, and some regards to what people think of her. I don't think that Videl is at all the arrogant brat that people make her to be. It's also true -about that note you made- that words hurt a lot. I think Videl has a right to feel insecure about what people had been saying behind her back. (I thought it was a little strange that her classmates thought she has no breasts _. I don't think she is that flat! :)

I really think that stories come out better more meaningful when it actually means something to the author. It's nice to know that you have a reason why you wrote this and that you can compare Videl's situation with yours.

Anyway, I've probably bored you out now. Sorry. Anyway, this was a really good one shot; there's not many you can find these days.
Missed Nin chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
Hey!

This is good! Videl goes through a really realistic set of reactions. And I have to say that I really do know what she (and you) are thinking - my hair's long and really thick, and I spent a long time refusing to cut it... XD. Sharpner's dialogue sounds very accurate, particularly the line about Gohan, and (I didn't write him that well), and Videl's reaction to him - "violence wasn't always the answer" - made me giggle. Erasa's role was good, kinda attempting to shelter Videl from the rest of the class. It's a very realistic high-school scene, so don't think you're losing your touch since you've left the place! (nope, it sticks with you forever. or not.)

The scene with Videl and his dad is the only place that I think your characterisation seems off. She's talking about him not listening to her - "he just went on, and on and on… all about him." - when a line ago she's said "He was probably worried sick about her.". The transition from Satan bellowing her name to him complaining about his house's failure to find her doesn't come across in Videl's thoughts. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but maybe you need a line about 'Even when he was panicking about her whereabouts, he managed to turn things around and talk to her as if the effects of her disappearance were more important than the causes had been. It was all about him, and she _didn't_ _want_ _to_ _hear_ how her absence had affected him." . Eh, something like that. (Now wants to write oneshot...)

I adore that line about Videl knowing what it's like to be criminal.

I think in the section about her looking at, it would be cool to have before she went to be and when she woke up. Because your opinion tends to change between those times...

I like your reference to the 'sticks and stones' saying, but I don't think it really really needs explaining or acknowledging outside the text. You have a whole lot of allusions and author's note and explanations there, and not all of them are needed. Still, if that's how you want to write, it's fine.

Good fic! :D

Missed Nin
X-Danni-G-X-have-new-account chapter 1 . 7/21/2007
Wow, that was an awesome one-shot and I really enjoyed it. You have a great style of writing and everyone seemed to be in character. Hopefully, you will write more!

Danni
ShadowMajin chapter 1 . 7/20/2007
You put a lot of thought into this, didn't you? I'm impressed. Makes me think of what else could be running inside your head. I'll have to keep a lookout for you.