Reviews for War of Magic
Siriusly Annoyed chapter 8 . 6/12
I'm sorry but I have to be brutally honest here, but I couldn't finish reading the story. It was just too cringe worthy. The plot was good yes, but the way it flowed, so un-realistic. The writing wasn't very good, many errors with spelling and you don't seem to understand how to make it flow. And it has to be said but the author notes are just plain annoying. If you are going to write a poorly put together fanfiction then expect peoples negative reactions, no need to be so cocky and rude about everything. I hope to god you don't write any more, or at least change the attitude.
Cal chapter 7 . 5/9/2013
This is really stupid.
lily rock chapter 16 . 5/5/2010
hey where that sequil?
marquet chapter 6 . 7/31/2008
really rough. missing lots of periods. grammar needs work. the plot's not so bad but leaves a lot to be desired. you could add some depth. also, really melodramatic. don't know if its supposed to sound ridiculous or not, but the DIE parts...ouch.
SorryAccountHasBeenDeleted chapter 16 . 11/22/2007
Crystal: Well that was sweet! I love a good SB&RL story

Jasmine: It was very quick & short...next time slow it down & take it the story much more enjoyable that way.

Crystal: Are you flaming this excellent story Jazz?

Jasmine: No I just like a story with a bit more plot...

Crystal: It's a RL4SB story! Who cares about plot!

RL 4 SB 4EVER :-)
Anon chapter 16 . 11/21/2007
God, no, please don't make a sequel. I don't think I could stand any more of your torturously bad writing anymore. Just stop or make a real effort to improve. Since you seem to have no interest in doing the latter, I suggest the former.
8bitBatman chapter 8 . 11/21/2007
aw
8bitBatman chapter 7 . 11/21/2007
it's a bit... strange. you could write how axel met ember and maki properly for a prequel
8bitBatman chapter 5 . 11/21/2007
these chapters are dead short. i think you should try for at least 35 lines. then aim higher from there! also, you could describe everything a little bit better
I'm all anonymous right now chapter 6 . 9/22/2007
I'm very much aware I misspelled "sentence" and "exhibit" in my review and the irony of having done so...you may laugh at me now, but please take my suggestions- and those of other reviewers- to heart. As the suggestion below the "submit review" buttons says- "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer."
I'm all anonymous right now chapter 6 . 9/22/2007
Please don't take this as flame. If you're seriously sensitive just read number 1 and maybe 6.

1. Your plot rocks.

2. Your grammar has most serious issues.

3. Spell check is available on most word processing programs

4. Descriptions, setence structure, and habitual run on sentences need serious work.

5. The poem from the first chapter? Putting "dove" there just because it rhymed... I mean, poems are known for relaxed sentence structure (which you appear to exihibit anyway...) try ending it with "of" or even "'ve" ("would've, should've, etc)

6. The plot still, despite all this, seriously rocks. These things will usually turn me off a story in the first chapter, but here I am- chapter six. If you just fix a few things you could have a stunning story.
devlyn Lerra chapter 12 . 9/16/2007
Centering such a short piece makes it seem shorter. Left-align, revise, edit, detail and repost!
bghnbghn chapter 13 . 9/15/2007
sweet, but a second time: edit! revise!
bghnbghn chapter 2 . 9/15/2007
It's a great idea, but the riting is a bit choppy and the spelling and grammar are way off... it would be a lot more enjoyable if you used spell check or had it betad...
Crystal chapter 6 . 9/2/2007
Yello, Meranda! This story is surprisingly flowing together. You're improving. Way to go girl! Be happy with all your reviews! Seeya!
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