Reviews for Harry Potter and The Second Chance
MomentofTruth chapter 11 . 10/4
Why was it not a mutual apology? You made it clear that Ron and Hermione were going beyond the pale in their behavior too, why would they lay all the blame at Harry's feet? What are you thinking absolves them from their behavior?
Guest chapter 10 . 10/4
stalked not stocked; vial not vile; again, their not there. Also, the extra few months time and repeating events doesn't seem to have give your Harry any maturity or insight, what is the point of that?
MomentofTruth chapter 9 . 10/4
What is with snowflake Harry? He deliberately gets all these piercings and changes his hair green and eyes silver, but complains at being stared at and whispered about. 1. hypocritical to seek attention and then be annoyed you get attention. 2. unrealistic whinging that is so childish, immature, petulant, unbecoming and annoying. If Harry doesn't bring his A game, I am otta here.
Moment of Truth chapter 9 . 10/4
Their not there probably six times in the last chapter and again in this chapter.
MomentofTruth chapter 8 . 10/4
Bit hypocritical of Remus to allow Petunia to tell him that a three year old Harry doesn't want to see him and he never asks or darkens her door again but a fifteen year old Harry says leave me alone about this, just drop it and Remus is all Oh No, I promised your parents ... ewwe
MomentofTruth chapter 2 . 9/26
I love a lot of the detail you provide to enhance the reader's understanding of the static setting. However, character development is essential for any story. In this situation, you are using a character that has a substantial amount of already given history that you must begin from and then develop away from to go in your own direction. In the development details are equally important as descriptive details.
I feel, the amount of pounds Harry offers to Uncle Vernon for a ride is ridiculous; 500 pounds for a trip to London from Surrey is outrageous-he could easily take a taxi for that amount and he really only needs a ride, if at all, to the local train station. He could use his invisibility cloak and a notice-me-not charm on the muggle bus or the train if he took an early enough ride. Besides, announcing his intention to the muggles is a sure way to have information out there to later be found by Dumbledore using mind magic.
Moreover, in canon Vernon is a bully and a pig and will use this information at every turn to squeeze more money out of Harry. You are developing Harry to be different from canon, but it is unlikely you will spend the time making Vernon's character that different. Harry has, through this one action, given his uncle a beater bat to employ on him for every little action: food, rent, clothes will all cost Harry from here on out outrageously because if he can get the money for a ride he can get it for anything.
Plus, it is unrealistic for Harry, who has been dirt poor all his life, to be so generous and unthinking with his resources. And you have it endemic through out the chapter, for example, he agrees to the fee for the money bag without even asking the goblin what the fee is-that is just so unrealistic for someone in Harry's position. Because of this one slip, I peg you as very young with a lack of understanding or experience of money or the use of resources. To develop character you need to think from the character's perspective as well as move the plot along.
Well done with cramming the whole need to shop into one chapter as it does tend to bog down these type of stories. But, just as an example, I find your Harry's wardrobe order at Malkin's very inconsistent with his character, as explained in the books. Remember, the Harry who is returning has more experiences than the Harry who was first in this year, but this whole shopping thing is something Harry never did in canon in any year, so some character development is necessary. Perhaps, if you had included more detail in his three weeks of waiting to go to Diagon Ally explaining how he came to his plans that would make his story flow more easily for this trip. It wouldn't need to be more than a paragraph, really, just something.
Also, I was kind of wondering why Harry dressed in so many layers in the heart of the summer. That is just me, but you have him wearing: undershirt, long-sleeved shirt, robe, and cloak and a silver skull cap. You have charms for spills and up to third-year spells on the clothes, but no comfort charms so he could be quite uncomfortable in that many layers. Was there a reason? And the Malkin clerk does not notice or comment on Harry's piercings that are quite visible, is there a reason she did not react? I have other questions but did not want to be picky as you have worked so hard and accomplished so much. Just keep in mind the development of character and you will be fine.
aradia1967 chapter 15 . 8/29
is this story abandoned or are you gonna update it
Tirla chapter 15 . 7/5
Very enjoyable story. Thank you for sharing with those of us who lurk and read.
Writing is not easy and those wh an entertain with that ability are to be treasured.
So, thank you, Treasure.
stacygrrl2002 chapter 13 . 7/3
What business of it is theirs? Nosy busybodies
stacygrrl2002 chapter 11 . 7/3
I keep wanting Harry to jump on frog face, but keep forgetting. Even if it is a repeat, he probably still doesn't know the quill and her actions are illegal. It would be nice though to sed him shove it through one of her eyes, or her carotid
stacygrrl2002 chapter 6 . 7/3
While the info on the attacks was good, he wasn't able or didn't get any shots at the minister or ministry. Brevity probably cut short the rest of the trial.
TheHuntresss chapter 11 . 12/19/2016
thing I must do... is take pictures of my hand and send copies them Amelia Bones, my gringotts vault and a Prophet reporter that will print them along with the truth in how they were acquired.
TheHuntresss chapter 10 . 12/19/2016
So much for keeping his head down.. apparently he hasn't learned anything from the past except how to antagonize the enemy. There are better ways to take care of Umbridge than a direct frontal confrontation.
firedawg chapter 15 . 10/2/2016
A great story, looking forward to the next installment. Thank you for sharing.
noylj chapter 2 . 9/11/2016
God, I really hate piercings and tats.
Just not Harry-even after the 3000th fanfic that tries it.
You going to have Harry be a druggie too?
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