|Reviews for A Dying Light|
| forTheLoveOfHades chapter 26 . 1/20/2013
| CosmicEssence chapter 26 . 1/6/2013
This is good, the idea is certainly a favourite one and in some ways you've delivered it well, however, and forgive me for saying this if you're not one for criticisms but, there is alot of room for improvement. Generally speaking your grammer and spelling are more than fine, the sentence and paragraph structure is organised and easy to read and yes the whole thing is easy to get caught in. The problem stems from a lack of what I sometimes refer to as 'realism'. Ignore for the moment that this is a fantasy fandom and think about things from 'realistic' pov. For example, you had Elladan say himself that his Ada Elrond often delegated jobs that required him to leave Rivendell to others, then consider that Elrond is an elf Lord over an entire haven of elves, many of which are warriors that protect Rivendell and its people and then explain to me why you had Elrond attempt to rescue his sons from a large grouping of Men (which Elladan himself admits there are too many to confront by ones self) by himself? It makes no sense! From this we get the problem of Elrond having to do everything alone against too many foes as he's not got enough manpower, he even thinks to himself at one point why didnt he bring Elladan along to help? Its this sort of attention to detail that not only lifts a story from OK to good and beyond but actually makes a story work. There are a number of other little details i could mention but i'm just going to mention the other 2 which really struck me as odd. The second is Elladan catching up so quickly to the hunters, who had a large headstart, 3 days i think i read, and yet Elladan catches up with ease and speed, despite being still injured and quite a long way behind. The third is the clear copout of the ending and rescue. you didnt know how to get them out of there with 1 weakened and 2 badly injured and only one rescuer and a whole host of Men milling around, so you mysteriously vanished all the men, got rid of Gavin so he was no longer any issue and quickly spirited them off home on a journey that with a horse took several days with stops that they managed on foot (with 2 injured as i said and one dying) with apparently no trouble. Also you'd think if this nasty 'leader' who was interested in Aragorn was that interested they'd have sent servants out after them, not like the elves are going to be running that fast burdened or weakened as they are is it?
So, anyway, while i did enjoy reading this, it has the potential to be much better if only you remember to pay more attention to detail.
P.S. Do not take offence, this is my opinion and if you don't agree then that is your choice. I've given plenty of wellrounded reviews and the amount of times someones taken personal offence because they dont like criticisms are annoyingly large. This is not a flame, nor a verbal attack nor an attempt to make you upset so please try not to take it as such ok :)
| HelloDenmark chapter 26 . 1/5/2013
Awesome story! You have a wonderful way of writing, not confusing one single time, just... flowing :D
| Purestrongpoem chapter 26 . 6/16/2012
Well done, although the ending should be longer (talk more about the healing and comfort of Aragorn and his brothers.
| Sage Of the Woods chapter 26 . 10/8/2011
I liked your story alot, but it's just I was looking forward to the big healing chapter in the end. Kin of like a reward for reading all that suffer. But I didn't get the reward. I just wish there was more comfort. Anyway, good story!
| Mirach chapter 26 . 6/27/2011
The story was very suspenseful, I read it in one breath. I'm glad it ended happinly! I just wish there would be more of healing at the end - it must have taken quite a lot of time for Aragorn to awake after all he has bee through!
| Vamp.Michelle chapter 26 . 10/9/2010
Ah, so all's well that ends well. Though, I must say I would have loved to see the end be a bit longer. Not the "how they all got back home" part (well, they walked, or rode, how exciting can that be?), but the comfort part to the hurt part. I guess I just like seeing things get better after they were bad:)
| Vamp.Michelle chapter 9 . 10/8/2010
Ah, I had been wondering what Elrond was up to. As it looks now, he's supposed to be the one who will save the day, though I am a bit worried about the fact that he's also alone. Mhm, we'll see...
| Vamp.Michelle chapter 5 . 10/7/2010
You're off to a nice start. I like the idea that the men actually wanted to capture the twins and were kinda too preoccupied to pick the two identical looking twins. Amateurs:) And let's see how Aragorn's unplanned presence might shake things up later. Though, looking at the chapters I see we still have a way to go, so I better prepare for a lot of twists and turns!
BTW: You're switching tenses at the end of chapter five. I supposed that slipped past you when you re-read the chapter.
| iccle fairy chapter 26 . 9/15/2010
excellent ending! well done!
| Holly Short of the Lep recon chapter 26 . 2/8/2009
aw! that was really cute!
| grimnessreaper chapter 26 . 1/15/2009
sweet. they home and everyones healing. i guess this is one story that gets a happy ending;)
| pipinheart chapter 26 . 1/5/2009
Loved this story, you used great personality to the characters, and I am glad they made it out, though I would have liked to see how they traveled home with them injured like that, and seeing elronds skill in healing would have been nice...But loved it...
| nksa chapter 25 . 12/29/2008
I just go to the end of this, and I must say, it is amazingly written. Please continue!
| GreyLynx chapter 25 . 12/25/2008
You can't stop now. Now when Elrond has reached them. I have to know what happens next! Please update!