This was fucking delightful! Love that most of it was done via mmail as well, it really worked for the tone of the story.

Thank you for a riotous, hilarious read. The email -type format was an excellent idea, and made for a fast-paced, snappy text. I had tremendous fun.

Lol...Love it!

While I'm all for depraved hormones and ladies' strip-tease, I'm not sure the Griffindor team's old enough even in England for public nudity. I hope the brooms are padded, and I'm not sure the 2002 calendar fits in JKR's timeline. Perhaps it's a test of poise and self-confidence; if so, Moldy Voldy failed.

Very amusing.

Any chance for a copy of the calendar?
I could use a new one right about now.

You know...they may have had to play naked but nothing is stopping them from painting clothes onto their bodies the muggle way.
It's been done before.
A girl literally walks naked through busy streets and nobody knew it.

Of course this may only work for the girls as they have no bits to hide...but... every bit...er..less counts.

Lots of fun. Thanks.

In re-reading the story, I realised that there was a particular scene that could have been modified to make it gloriously epic, if a little ruder.

Picture this: when Voldy appears at the game, Harry does the dive, pulling off a Wronski. However, rather than stopping to chat with Tommy, Potter does a last-minute pull-up with his broom, shifting his body slightly off-center... and quite publicly teabags Voldy right in the face before grabbing the nearby Snitch.

What in Merlin's bloody world did I just read?! And how do I get a print out of this so I can post it on my wall?! This should be framed! I hope the rest of the chapters are like this!

I imagine Harry's response would be simple:

"Notwithstanding my decided distaste for the public nudity, I didn't want him to realize the situation and try to escape with the Snitch. You do realize that until it was confirmed to be gone and a new one released, the game couldn't end?

In any event, as that woad won't be leaving your skins anytime soon and is in fact used for magic-proof markings, you may hold out on our behalf. 'Ware Hermione, guys; she's sewing you Smurf hats for the duration."

Absolutely wonderful, best crack-fic I've seen and it filled my boring Friday afternoon with laughter, often choking back guffaws.
Thanks so much!

Very funny, thanks

In regard to the figures cited by Harry, as the object in question is roughly a cylinder, would not the width figure correspond to the diameter? Also, is it not well established in canon that, at age 11, Harry Potter measured an enviable 25.4 cm X 6.4 cm, as submitted by Healer Pomphrey and verified by the Ministry's Bureau of Wizard Statistics?

Since when are games played on school days? Otherwise why would granger be giggling in class before the game?