|Reviews for Twilight Regent|
| Acronymous chapter 4 . 11/5/2012
I loved this
good job, it's short and sweet, while still being deep and engrossing.
kudos, off to read the sequel
| Saru Wolfe chapter 4 . 10/14/2008
Excellent! Somebody had to notice sooner or later. I'm just confused about one point: if this is TP, then why does he remember scenes from WW? What timeline are you working with, exactly? Aside from that, it was great. I'm glad they took control, and that it didn't eradicate their souls for all eternity. It was very well-written and it stayed interesting the entire way. Good job!
| I Am Sparty chapter 4 . 8/13/2008
Well, that was a bit of a shocker at the end of this story. I feel like I completely missed something, but it's all right there before me. The way you used your author's license to mold the events into something of your own was unique and stunning. I really enjoyed the mythology that you came up with for the Twilight Realm, or Yomi, and how it acts as a sort of underworld. You're actually the only author whose work I've read that has remembered that bit from the game, that the Twilight Realm was considered the underworld. The criminals within the Arbiter's Grounds would be executed within the Mirror Chamber, and they would subsequently be sent to the underworld. I remember Auru speaking about that when you meet him at Lake Hylia. Good job tying all that into the story. It seems you have thought a lot on this, and to see it take form like this was a real treat.
I found a few errors within this last chapter, so I figured I'd help and point them out for you.
"The words died in his throat as Link not only didn’t fall, but stood straight and wrenched the sword from Ganondorf’s hand, then pulled out of his own chest." - This sentence doesn't flow so well. I think you meant the last part to read "...then pulled it out of his own chest."
"Half-blinded by the mud, Link floundered in the mud for a weapon, any weapon, his sword lost in the Triforce’s shattering." - Just a bit of redundancy here. I mean...I guess there's not much else you could use to describe mud; you want to show what's blinding Link, and also that he's in the mud floundering about for something to defend himself with. Perhaps in place of one of the "mud"s you could say "muck" or something similar. Another suggestion would be to just say "...Link floundered for a weapon." True, it's taking away an element of information, but the story's flow is increased.
"Standing in front of him was a young woman in of a race Link had never seen before, dressed in brilliant blue-black robes, her bright red hair arranged like a pendant over her shoulders and on her chest." - One word too many here. You could probably remove "in" from between "woman" and "of" to get your meaning across without any confusing extra words.
"When our past lived ended, we were simply reincarnated as someone else. " - I think you meant "When our past lives ended...".
I suppose I should read your other story now. This one was still great, but I need to be set straight on some of the details of the story that you threw in here.
| I Am Sparty chapter 3 . 8/13/2008
Ah, beautifully written. I'm really enjoying your writing. It's a good break from the usual trash you'll find on this site. Every once in a while there's a real gem out there. I probably wouldn't have found it if it weren't for Windblown Wanderer or Davin Sunrider.
"Irresistibly drawn, the walked slowly toward it, dreading what he might see." - Small typo here. Thought I'd help out and show it you. "the walked" doesn't quite work...I believe it's supposed to be "he walked", right?
Anyway, Link's vision was great and insightful. You're really capturing his emotional turmoil that he's going through right now. I'm surprised he snapped at Shad like that...I can imagine the ol' boy soiled his pants from that encounter with Link.
Your chapters are brief and insightful, not revealing too much information, but letting go of just enough to make things interesting, making the reader want to see how things unfold. Great job, Seldavia.
| I Am Sparty chapter 2 . 8/13/2008
I rescind my comment about Kakahiro. You used its name again in this chapter, which leads me to believe that it wasn't a typo at all. I only thought it was because of its similarity to Kakariko, and the references to Malo's store and the old Goron sitting out front, not to mention that talk of Death Mountain while Link is there in the village.
Well, I'm thoroughly confused, though it's probably my own fault for not reading the other story first, even though this one takes place before it as a prequel.
So it seems that Link even retains the memories of his ancestors. You made mention that the Temple of Time had been crumbling for centuries. Would you consider this the same Temple of Time from OoT? If so, saying that it had been decaying for centuries would put OoT much further behind TP than the developers meant it to be. The game Twilight Princess is supposed to take place about 100 years following the events of OoT. Heh, I guess it's just my knack for picking up on tiny details that even cause me to bring it to your attention, but there it is for you.
Anyway, I'll finish this, then I'll read the one that takes place after it. Hopefully all my questions will be answered in due time.
| I Am Sparty chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
Alright, I'm not sure if I should read the prequel before the actual story, but I did it with Davin Sunrider's work, reading "Hero's Origin" before "The Fourth Piece". That seemed to work out just fine, so I thought I'd try it with this.
Link appears to be having nightmares concerning things that have happened to other Heroes, one being the Hero of Time, and the other the Hero of Winds. It's an interesting thing to start with, so my curiosity is definitely piqued.
I was kind of confused when you mentioned a place called the Kakahiro Inn. Now, I thought maybe it was just a typo, and then I thought maybe you were creating an AU with alternate locations. However, I think it was just a typo, and also a sort of mistake. You could have said something like "The Inn in Kakariko" or "The Elde Inn", which is the official name of the inn in Kakariko Village.
Another thing that worried me was that Link got hit in the arm with an arrow and seemed very nonchalant about such an occurrence. I understand that your whole method of writing in that particular instance was to show how displaced Link was from the actual world, his senses kind of dulled, but I still think being wounded by an arrow is something that you might have focused on a bit more.
I apologize if I'm coming off as critical, but it's just the way I am. If I see something that doesn't sit well with me, I'll point it out every time. You should see the way I riddled the reviews of "The Fourth Piece" with corrections and critiques. I also try to look at the positive aspect of stories so that my critical eye doesn't overpower my genuine need to show appreciation for something that is well-written, such as this story.
So far, I like it. It flows well, and I feel that you're portraying the characters of TP very accurately. One can argue that any portrayal of Link would be accurate, since he never speaks during the games and therefore doesn't have any discernible personality. I beg to differ though, for his actions and character animation reveal a lot to his character, even when he's in wolf form (this probably only applies to Twilight Princess, it being the most-animated of the games besides Wind Waker). We understand Link's resolve and his concern for the well-being of others. We know that he is extremely courageous (thus the Triforce of Courage), but a bit socially shy. Midna's strong character makes a great contrast for Link in the game, showing how meek he truly is, despite his big heart.
I think you're doing a fabulous job of capturing his essence thus far. Not many writers can do that, but hats off to you.
Heh, this is only the first chapter of this short fic and already I've written a novel-length review for you. Only an exaggeration, of course, but let's see what else I can say about this story within the next few chapters.
| sakurahanaalice chapter 4 . 6/5/2008
Wow, again. Um...I don't know what to say except that they finally broke the...wait. In the Windwaker, the Triforce was completed and Zelda, Link, and Ganondorf didn't have their peices...wouldn't that mean that Ganondorf died once and for all? Darn you Nintendo! It's confusing!
| sakurahanaalice chapter 3 . 6/5/2008
Wow. Link got mad...Heh, I remember a line from "The Tempest": 'A pox on your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!' I was reminded of that from what Link said.
| sakurahanaalice chapter 2 . 6/5/2008
Wow. Great story so far! I know what both of the dreams are, WW and MM. Hm. Is the old man, you? Hinting that they are marionettes of the godesses (or us)?
| FabulaEstActa chapter 4 . 3/8/2008
Wow. ... Wow. This is a fascinating take on the cycle of the Triforce. I'm not even sure how to review. Let's see. I enjoyed the nature of Link's dreams, as well as the tapestry scene. It was interesting to think of Link as losing to Ganondorf, but it makes sense, especially considering the nature of the rest of the fic. Midna's role was certainly a surprise and while I sometimes find such grandiose depictions a bit much, it fit with the plot and therefore didn't feel like it was over the top. All in all, an intriguing read that I certainly enjoyed.
| Zephros chapter 4 . 11/21/2007
A cycle without end, finally ends. You tell a wonderful a story, albiet slightly new aswell. The way you portrayed Link and Midna and Twilight as the realm of the dead was very original. Also, what was new was how you paced the story within the game. Marvelously done. I was slightly confused as to how Ganondorf gave-up his triforce piece willingly, but a small note aside from everything else.
I like how you portrayed their characters as well. The frustration that Link felt was shown quite effectively. Even Midna's character was done well. Her slight sarcasm a relief to see done right for once. The dialogue went smoothly, with only a few bumps in it. And those bumps were only towards the last chapter.
I'm sure I saw a few gramatical errors, but I don't expect perfection from anyone...unless I buy it from a book store for ten bucks.
I like the pace of the story as well. Nothing was rushed and it never lagged behind. Everything came on it own. There was a sense of mystery also, though I had long ago realized he was seeing the lives of thepast heroes. I like the tapestries as well. His soul organizing the past memories for him. At least I think that is what happened, I'm not entirely sure what that room was and how the three all managed to get there, but from a stand point of the story...it didn't matter. Only idle thoughts after the story ended is made me wonder. The fact I had idle questions and thoughts about the story after it ended means it had a impact on my mind. Few short stories manage to do this. Your did, I am quite impressed.
I guess to wrap all this up...There were no massive flaws, only minor ones. The whole premise was unique and the idea of minor gods and goddesses seemed only slightly out of place. Yet, you blended them together quite well. I like reading it, glad I spent much of my time reading it. I would also like to thank-you for entertaining me with this short and interesting piece. I can't praise it enough, and hope that you will continue to write and post things. I've noticed a lack of epics in your stories...i.e. a story with dozens of chapters. Just wondering why that is? I mean no offense by it I swear...I only ask in idle curiosity. Ah well...time to go read a few more of your fics. Keep-em coming and original.
| Blade33 chapter 4 . 10/14/2007
This is a really good story. I disagree with parts but Link and Zelda being continually reincarnated by the Triforce is interesting.
| Davin Sunrider chapter 4 . 8/21/2007
Very nice. This story is much easier to read now. I don't want to repeat myself, so I'll just say that this is still an incredible story, with an interesting take on the Twilight Realm and its purpose. I'm looking forward to the sequel.
| Radiant Pencil chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
Wow! This was amazingly well written! You really know each character's personality. However, you went above and beyond and gave Link a personality as well. It is so hard to write a believable Link because, in the games, he never says anything and his reaction to anything is usually so transient. I like how you included the past Zelda games along with your own ideas. I'd be happy if you wrote more like this. Would you review my story and tell me what you think? I could really use some feedback from a good writer such as yourself.
| awesome chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
nice story-telling! Good job.