Reviews for No Such Happy Ending
Undercover Godmother chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
Okay. A lot to say.

A) You don't purple-prose. And, even though it's not long, it has a lot to say. Which is the mark of a good story.

B) This reminds me A LOT of 'I'm Not That Girl' from Wicked. Which happens to be one of my favorite songs ever.

3) The writing is fantastic. So good on you.
Delia Anole chapter 1 . 4/23/2011
It is indeed incredibly strenuous to click that darn button labeled review. And you should know, I am only reviewing because you're forcing me to.

That sounds rude or mean... Or something. But I promise that's not what I meant! You see, I'm alwasy incredibly intimidated to review your stuff.

Don't understand me in a false way - you've done nothing to cause it. It just happens. Like a writer's crush (which I've had for countless authors on this site).

Okay, I'm not making any sense! And that's something I excel at!

Anywho, to your question... (which I assume was rather rhetorical)

I think that the main character merely died in the night. Sure, the knife is there... But the light was turned off - and... oh, I don't know, can one commit suicide in the dark? I suppose when killing oneself they don't necessasrily have to look at themself... But, anyways, the act of turning the lamp of made up my mind.

This person died in their sleep.

I love how you really disect the emotions of your characters. Even unimportant ones. You anazlyze their nature and create something so realistic...

What else would a servant girl or boy have to live for than a slight touch of nobility? You slightly brushed the subject that they had no family.

I can not only see the reason for the suicide - but I understand it. This person had nothing to live for but that relationship...

And, in my opinion, that relationship was something that never was...

For the servant's live thrived off of it, lived it, bloomed from it... But the nobility was ignorant - whether it was blissfully ignorant, I am unsure. But ignorant, indeed.

Well'p enough with this review. Thanks for listening to my nonsense of thoughts!
ElvishKiwis Venerated Ancestor chapter 1 . 12/21/2008
This was an incredibly vivid bit of angst. The first person perspective is perfect for this kind of oneshot: ie what would compel a suicide. I consider it a suicide whether or not she used the knife, although if she is serious about dying, she would have to. People who die of broken hearts usually take several months to do so, and don't do it from unrequited infatuation, painful though it might be...

I am not sure why but this story doesn't quite do it for me...

I think it is because there is not quite enough information to relate to the narrators feelings.

There are a few apparent contradictions regarding the degree of relationship she had with the object of her obsession. At first you made it sound that there was a single friendly encounter, followed by 'nothing' except her stalking him and fantasizing about them being in love together:

"We had locked eyes, a fleeting touch, a smile, a thrilling moment. Then nothing. But I had to have more. I craved the sensation."

But later, you say she was invited to the wedding. for a servant girl to be invited to a nobleman's wedding, especially if he is royalty literally, not just figuratively, is unheard of, unless they were extremely close friends. In which case why would she have to 'always hide in the shadows' to observe him. But then you also hint that perhaps she is not a literal servant, that could be figurative too. I think you need to commit yourself to these kind of details or the story is so open-ended that it is confusing. Essentially they don't matter, but they make it hard to accept the powerful feelings she is describing, when we can't assess how much encouragement he has given her infatuation:

"What was I? Just a friend? A companion? A friendly face? Why had I not been told of this secret romance? Could it have been known my heart had been strung with love the minute we locked eyes, so many years ago. And when we had escaped to the secret places of our own, could I not have been informed? Was this my fault?"

Is this thought a result of her fantasies? Or did he really have asecret rendezvous spot with her? If so, why did she say that after that first touch and smile there was nothing?

"We had been friends. I had always loved. We had been confidants. But I had never known anything but joy. We had shared grievances, but never love."

Again a confusing statement in the light of her stalking, and declaration that she had no idea that he loved another. If they really shared confidences then surely this relationship would be one of them, and I don't think such intimate meetings would be part of 'nothing'.

I think with a bit more clarity this could be a really powerful oneshot. But in it's present state it doesn't quite work.

The way her thoughts focus briefly and intensely on things like losing her shoe, and relating it bitterly to the Cinderella story is very good. People who are working themselves up into a depression are like that (a further reason why I don't think she would die from a broken heart!). *speaks from personal experience!*

'Did she commit suicide,' you asked. I'd like to think not. I believe she probably worked herself up into such a depression that she ended up having a good cry for about an hour, after which, she realised how pathetically selfish she was being, and that her love was not the genuine thing, or else she would not be resenting his happiness so much. At that point, she would either:

1) repent of her sulk, and write a letter of resignation from her job. So she could remove herself from the situation, and get over it;

or 2) she would rebelliously decide to go ahead with the suicide, but lose courage when it came to actually plunging the knife into her chest (I am sure that would really hurt before it started working!). She would then decide to take an overdose instead, but probably would not have quite enough medication available in their medicine cabinet to do the job properly. So she would just go unconscious and wake up late the next day with a whopping head ache and stomach ulcers. *grins without much sympathy*

I am sorry for ruining your tragedy with my cold analysis, but I have been there myself many times in my foolish life and so I am understandably sceptical...!

Sorry

EVA
Raenad chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Wow. This was very haunting and sad. I liked it, though. Lovely.
Goddess of Cliffhangers chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
The vibe of the beginning bothered me. A little too much Wicked or A Cinderella Story(whatever that god awful Hillary Duff movie was called). I very much liked this part "I was cursed. And no one could wake me from it. Not a kiss, not a spindle prick, not a fairy, no one." It was simply but effective, tying in the genre without the melodrama of the rest. The roses part is just too too, trop dramatique, pourquoi? It breaks any connection between them and makes me think "creepy stalker". I get where you're going with the repetition. It's an interesting style, but it does get a little tedious for me.

It picks up again in what I deem the second half, which starts at "Love most of all". Even though it's short I actual feel like this part connects with a real character with real emotions. The "A servant to unrequited love." part takes me out of the moment again. The drama in this section is not as bad as you're about to introduce a knife into the story. This part feels more Little Mermaid (nonDisney). I like it.

Two things:

We had been confidents. (I think you mean confidantes.)

How do you turn off a lamp?

Much love, Cat
Thai Libre chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
Oh! So many other possible endings! I really liked it. I think it was a little more from the male perspective, but coud go either way. Keep Writing!
BizzinElfGirl chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
Woah. That was great! Kind of haunting. I love that you left it open for interpretation. 5*s
4gVn SoUl chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
wow this is one of the most awesomest stories i've ever read!

i hope you continue it.

4gVn SoUl
Mrs Pierre Bouvier chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
That was pretty cool, I say she killed herself.
lilynx chapter 1 . 8/6/2007
This story is so sad. I really liked how you combine elements from all the classic fairy tales instead of just sticking with one. Keep on writing! (other stories of course)
cassandra12271 chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
Wow! It was very touching and emotional. I like it. Especially when you left it open-minded at the end of the story, and if it is a hero/heroine. It was very mysterious. It was also very dark. Very good job on it considering this is your first one-shot.
Tree of Ashes chapter 1 . 8/4/2007
Interesting.

Not your usually story.

I do like it. I like how you leaved it open ended, and not telling us if the hero/ine commit sucide or not.
GeminiAngel236 chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
Sad very sad, i like it!
Dark knightress chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
Yay! I like stories with happy endings. Well happy to me at least. In a weird way this story kinda comforts me. The hero/ine felt love and then lost it to loniless which made it sting even more, while I've only felt lonliness and nothing more.

Why does that sound to melancholy? Anyway I'm off to read the story of this 'Faylin Norse' person you mentioned. Could you please read my fairy tale story? It's not nearly as good as this but it kills a good 10 minutes.
InChrist-Billios chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
Very heart wrenching. I love it. I think we all unconsciously think of the possibility that someone else loved, too, and you did a great job putting it into stunning prose. Excellent!

Wonderful word choice, making the setting and even narrator so ambiguous, yet so intimate.

This one earns a fave!