Reviews for Coming Out
ilikebuffy chapter 13 . 8/4/2009
To tell you the truth when i first read this i wanted to scream and yell at you... you made xander so OCC that it is not funny and you made it a xander bash witch you have the right i just wish that you said that so i know and not read it... as i read it a second time i understood that you know that xander was not like this and you just wanted to show how hard this can be in real life... this is going to sound bad but if he had know problem witha gay guy he would have know problem with a gay girl... one think i hate about this story is you made the guys all jerks and the women great i was not show if this was a guy bashing story.. if this was you way of saying all guy are jerks... i would have like it if you made it more REAL life and have some guys and some girls be jerks in stead of all guys.. ps my belive is that girls have more probelm with gay girl then guys do so i belive buffy would be werid out a lot more then xander would be... I like you story for what you were trying to do, i am not attcking you just gaveing my oppine you have a nice style or writing and you should keep up the good work...
minako366 chapter 14 . 4/21/2008
O.o What the heck happened to Harmony? Good story though
Howard Russell chapter 12 . 3/17/2008
Cute. It's rare to see Tara characterized like that. Kinda refreshing, oddly. Kudos.
minako366 chapter 12 . 3/13/2008
aw
Howard Russell chapter 11 . 1/21/2008
Ooh! Evil, mind-control!Tara! Original. I like.
Allen Pitt chapter 11 . 1/21/2008
sorted-sordid, thrown-throne... Hit that beta!- hm, so you're going in the direction that Tara is doing what Willow did in the show in s6, a mind control thing? "for her own good"? That is so sad... but Xander has done that in the past (Valentine's day spell) so it's possible.

The mystery of buffy & restoring the slayer line story arc is interesting. Britney is playing with fire though-Giles can be ruthless when his slayer is in danger; and he can always phone the council who are even more ruthless than the initiative when they want to be-
Ryncor chapter 5 . 1/11/2008
interesting story but your dialogue with the characters is really stiff. none of the characters on the show and most peopel in real life, especially teenages, talk all proper with the 'do not' or 'will not'. casual convos like don't and wont are more realistic. work on making the dialogue flow more naturally. will not and do not are good for the narrative parts, but the dialogue needs to be casual and in no way as stiff as yours is. Other than that it's a pretty good story.
minako366 chapter 10 . 12/27/2007
:) Damn you cliffhangers! *waves fist in the air*
Allen Pitt chapter 10 . 12/21/2007
I'm almost afraid to wonder who the new slayer is..her arrival will likely shake things up a bit. I really liked that one in Berlin (start of S7) but probably too young at this point... or the one in Istanbul (ie potentials who got killed off in S7)-

This version of Xander is a bit nastier than the one on the tv show, but even there he did have a tendency to do some truly stupid things (Valentine Day's ep for example)... at this point he should just realize he's screwed up bad, apologize, and then move on with his life-
Allen Pitt chapter 9 . 12/20/2007
To be honest-if willow forgives Xander, she's a better person than I am...after what he did... but I suppose being Willow, it's possible she could...

hm, at this point a new slayer has been all Chosen...that could make things even more complicated-
Howard Russell chapter 8 . 12/18/2007
A lot packed into one chapter. I wonder if her trust will ever recover.

C&C:

It wasn't that Buffy sounded mature; it was that everyone sounds stilted. Try using more contractions in speech. e.g. use "don't" for "do not" and "that's" for "that is". That's how people sound in real life. Buffy, Harmony, Britney, even Faith suffered from things like that.

A writing trick is to read it aloud. If it doesn't sound natural, it won't read natural.
minako366 chapter 8 . 12/17/2007
AH! You killed Faith! *points* TT
Lilly428 chapter 7 . 12/16/2007
What's happened to Buffy?

Were Buffy and Brittany able to rescue Faith in time?

Please, please don't let Brittany have betrayed Willow and Buffy?

Please update soon.

Lilly
Lilly428 chapter 6 . 12/16/2007
Aha. I just knew it was Riley. Never liked him. Buffy will be better off without him.

Glad Buffy apparently has a new friend in Harmony considering what's happened with Xander and Riley.

Hope Brittany is seriously in love with Willow and won't break her heart.

Hope Brittany can work with Buffy to rescue Faith.

Lilly
Howard Russell chapter 7 . 11/4/2007
Ha! I thought chapter 21 was just an accidental double-post and that the final chapter was still pending. Glad someone said something or the rest of us would still be waiting.

About this chapter: I'm afraid Britney's betrayed them. I hope not.
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