|Reviews for Larceny, Lechery, and Luna Lovegood!|
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 10 . 9/12/2013
The one thing I don't understand is Harry and Hermoine's slide into theft. Seems a bit... out of the blue "oh hey lets steal stuff now". In the books they're portrayed differently.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 9 . 9/12/2013
So what I'm noticing so far with your writing style is that you exclusively focus on the dialogue of the characters. They don't interact with their environment, nor does the environment interact with them.
I highly suggest a reading a good book on editing such as "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers Second Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print [Paperback]
Renni Browne (Author) ".
Your plot and dialogue are good, but your writing in this needs more meat.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 8 . 9/12/2013
Seems like your ending on this chapter is hanging. Otherwise not a bad chapter.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 7 . 9/12/2013
I'm not sure of it, but I would put money on a wager that with a good edit this story would be a bit more clear and striking in the prose. You've got good ideas, and a fairly consistent (if AU) take on some of the characters.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 5 . 9/12/2013
Hermoine parent's were thieves too? Man there are a lot of perverted references in this chapter.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 4 . 9/12/2013
Interesting use of ideas. I like that you actually have a plot not just an obsession with a pairing.
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 3 . 9/12/2013
Ok, so 3 chapters in. I'm very, very interested in how this story turns out already. A different turn from the other kind of HP fic I've been reading. I
| Flaming Man of Iron chapter 2 . 9/12/2013
LOL the scene where Harry is beating Hermoine's bum with a rubber chicken. That was just a spectacularily hilarious image.
| Alpecca Ankaa Black chapter 63 . 9/11/2013
Yay, finally things are looking up for Dean a.k.a the Man Without Fear!
| bigfan chapter 5 . 8/7/2013
You mentioned that the underage law would not be useable in magical areas while I agree I think it would be more because in say malfoy manor or diagon ally there are no smuggler. And there are magical adults satisfying both safety and securety
Thank you for you're excellent writings
| Viertel chapter 69 . 8/3/2013
"You is Dobby's bitch now,"
That's it, show's over. Nothing else to see here. Move along folks as Dobby just won.
| CyberDragonEX chapter 16 . 8/1/2013
no thanks, I'm... going to spare myself THAT bit of madness.
| bearblue chapter 82 . 7/26/2013
I'm fairly sure that I've already reviewed this, but this is a great, funny story and very rereadable. Thank you.
| Dreamer's Garden chapter 24 . 7/17/2013
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Nicely done.
| Guest chapter 42 . 7/14/2013
Goddammit, this story is making me sexually frustrated. It's also side-splittingly funny, though a little long.