|Reviews for The Marauders and the Rogues|
| Hannah chapter 26 . 2/6/2011
I'm really loving this whole story, it is by far the best marauder era one I have read! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE! UPDATE UPDATE!
| sugarquills-and-lillies chapter 26 . 1/29/2011
I love your work toooo much...plz update soon or siriusly i will lose it...this story is killing me with suspense!
| swimdiva87 chapter 2 . 1/20/2011
YOU BETTER UPDATE OR I SWEAR WILL FIND YOU AND FORCE YOU TO WRITE!
| Rochelais1990 chapter 26 . 1/18/2011
Am loving the story - so so good! please update soon!
| Alex chapter 26 . 1/12/2011
Wow. I honestly love this story. It is the only fanfiction I have ever read that not only has its own fanfiction, but actually makes me want to write some!
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 14 . 1/10/2011
Normally this sort of thing didn't concern her, but to think that she was responsible for this... it made her feel like an enormous hypocrite. Truth be told, what she had done to Peter was hardly classed any differently to what Sirius had done to Hannah.
Great character development from Regan. It's logical, intelligent and makes her grow up.
"I have to go," he said dully, and sprinted off down the hallway. He tried to ignore the astounded faces of the people in the hallway. Of course it was a sight that would turn every head – since when did quiet little Jamie Love and the reserved Remus Lupin break into a shouting match?
The ambigious conversation between Remus and his love interest out how he can't tell her about his lycanthropy is pretty staple, and this wasn't much different to those in other fanfic.
The plot seems to be stalling right now, and maybe you could cut down on the paragraphs before Lily's Heads Meeting and get to the Halloween planning? Also, Lily fainting and James taking her to the hospital wing didn't do much for me; it just felt like an excuse to show how much James had matured again. It would have been more plot-moving and less redundant to show them in some kind of situation that explained James's sudden maturity, rather than just dropping the anvil again that James is so much more mature.
Also, Hannah getting it into her head that Sirius is being even crueler by giving her the chocolates doesn't do much toward character development or insight, it's just a misunderstanding.
So yeah. I really liked the resolving of Regan and Peter's issues (although maybe Peter should've grown from the experience as well? Like, maybe he should have stood up to her and said he didn't need her approval?), and how Regan grows from the situation, but I was a bit disappointed with the resolutions of Jamie/Remus, Lily/James and Hannah/Sirius.
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 13 . 1/10/2011
Whilst I like the reactions of all the Rogues;
Jamie bluntly refused to roll out of bed in the morning. She groaned and buried her face in a pillow, claiming that she would blow off all of her classes if only she could go back to her dreams.
The moment that Regan woke up – although she was not quite brought to her senses at this point – she sat bolt upright and started sputtering incoherently.
The most abnormal reaction, though, was Hannah's. Although she had taken the most brutal emotional blow the previous night, it seemed to have little effect on her in the morning. Although was uncharacteristically quiet, she didn't appear distraught at all, unlike the others.
Lily, who hadn't slept more than a few hours, woke to severe stomach sickness. After throwing up several times in the bathroom, she blamed her queasiness on the repugnance that lingered on from the night before.
So, I like all their reactions, but you're telling all this and not showing; it would have been a good moment to introduce an embarrassingly funny, cringe-comedy, but still touching, conversation.
Also, is the preceding chapter mixed up with this one? Only this opens with the girls waking up from after the sleepover, but Chapter 12 has the Marauders in lessons. Is this chapter jumping back in the timeline or something?
'Warbus Flechbert's All-Telling Guide to Animagi and their Development' was written in a large font across the front, and a tiny illustration of a human figure standing next to that of an animal filled the remaining space.
I like this development. After introducing the characters and their love interests, it's good to see a plot outside the romance develop.
Jamie managed to work quite successfully through the lesson with her head turned away from him, although she was excruciatingly aware of his gaze lingering on her occasionally. They didn't exchange a singly word, and for that, Jamie was thankful.
Again, there's very little going on here to show that Jamie/Remus should be together. They're not talking, and there really is nothing going on between them yet.
She would have to find out eventually – but she wasn't quite ready for it. Not yet, anyway.
Obviously, Remus's lycanthropy is going to be a major issue for him when it comes to dating, but a lot of fics have him going into "Edward Cullen Mode", where he acts all, "I'm dangerous but I'm just going to moan about it instead of showing how dangerous I am." So be careful with that; less talk, more action.
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 12 . 1/10/2011
Good to see you using a Marauder POV here.
"Shut up, Peter. You know you're never going to get anything out of it."
I find this pretty cruel of Remus. For the boy that's supposed to be the kind, caring, supportive member of his gang, he outright dismisses his friend's interests and deems them pathetic, not even making a light joke about it or teasing him in a friendly way. It contradicts his characterization.
Remus Lupin sat on one of Professor Trelawney's squishy bean bag chairs, his head swimming in the sickening humidity of the place and his breathing somewhat incapacitated by the horrible incense that drafted all throughout the classroom.
I like this description. It shows the suffocation and awkwardness of both Remus's physical surroundings and mental thoughts. However, it feels slightly overdone; I don't think you need "sickening" and "horrible". The reader will still get your drift.
"So," he said, his voice acidicly taunting. "It looks like little Miss Love is in love with you!"
Remus turned his head to cast a dark glare at the boy. "That's the lamest thing I've ever heard," he said. "Even from you."
Got to say, these people don't seem like friends or even nice guys. They're just insulting each other. The Rogues are all very different people who manage to put aside their differences and get along and have fun, but the Marauders don't seem very tolerant of each other.
Remus shuddered, not out of disgust, but out of confusion and despair. He had always wondered how long it would take for the secret to come out – the horribly non-compliant and totally rebellious attraction between a Marauder and a Rogue. It had only been a matter of time before somebody would start getting suspicious – but Remus hadn't expected for the confirmation to come from Jamie. He had been more worried about showing signs himself.
Jamie/Remus is another ship that isn't going anywhere so far. You've shown no reasons why the reader should be rooting for them to get together; they've had no interesting conversations, not saved each other's skin or anything, not gone on any fun exploits together. The only reason they seem to be being put together is because they are both apparently the staple "quiet, kind" members of their gangs.
It had started near the beginning of sixth year, which happened to be around the same time Jamie claimed to have started feeling differently for him. He had always admired her for her beauty and intelligence, but things had changed in sixth year. He had started to look at her in a different way – and although he had tried hard to push these thoughts from his minds, fearing the additional conflict between the two groups that this might arouse, he couldn't help it. She seemed so sweet, so innocent, and yet so strong. In a way he looked at her as somebody he should protect, but in another he looked up to her heartiness.
You're telling readers all this, not showing it. There's no romantic tension or build up to their relationship, just an offhand mention that they both fancy each other. It's not a particularly interesting pairing yet.
"James angrily tore up his parchment and pounded the desk hard with his fist, discarding yet another attempted letter of apology. His mood was at an all time low in terms of optimism. His day had been less than satisfactory; after last night, things had gone from bad to worse. The Rogues avoided them like the plague, quickly disappearing from the Heads' room before the Marauders were even awake and taking all of their things with them. Both Lily and Hannah hadn't been at any classes so far, and Lily hadn't returned to the Heads' Room either – for good reason, too. He knew she was right not to want to talk to him after the way he and the others had treated her and her friends. The emotional damage they had done was somewhat irreparable."
James is kind of bland right now. He acts like a gentleman and a hero, and when he doesn't, he always instantly checks himself and acts more maturely and intelligently than the others. He doesn't seem to have any real flaws or issues so far, and he's not that interesting to read about.
"No reason." Sirius shrugged, and threw himself onto one of the sofas, propping his feet up on the arm.
James laughed weakly. "Have you decided to apologize to Hannah about last night?"
Sirius's wince was quite noticeable as he shifted his position on the couch uncomfortably at the question. "Why do we have to talk about that?"
"'Cause you made a right mess of things, Padfoot, that's why."
Not buying the whole Sirius/James best friends thing here. James is acting more like an older brother or Prefect scolding a younger student, rather than a partner-in-crime maverick prankster. You still haven't given any reason for James's sudden maturity either, so the whole scene just feels contrived and awkward.
There isn't much to review in this chapter, and I was a bit disappointed with it; whilst I was glad you focussed on the Marauders, there isn't as much romantic tension and cringe-comedy as it there was the potential to have.
| The Gr8 Procrastinator chapter 26 . 1/9/2011
Where are you! please please please do not abandon this story! i'm down on my knees begging you ! i really want to know what happens! aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm going crazy! ifyou want to save me from spending therest of mylifein an asylum i suggest you update! (Please do i'mstill in school and i want to experiance some life out of school efirei go insane
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 2 . 1/9/2011
Sorry, I don't know why my last review had half the last sentence cut off. The Internet likes to screw with my head.
What I was saying in the last sentence was something akin to;
When you get the time to rework the earlier chapters, I'd suggest giving the boys some scenes to themselves to develop their character and group dynamic, show their backstories and insecurities, and flesh out their personalities, steering away from the cliches, even with Peter.
(I know you don't like Peter, but it's a sign of better writing that you create a believable, three-dimensional character out of him, rather than making him a useless lump of fat. I get that it's tempting, though :) )
For some reason I have an obsession with standing up for Peter in Marauder-fics. I don't know why; he got one of my favorite characters sent to prison for twelve years, sends another one into years of loneliness and depression, and causes the murder of the other two. But it bugs me when he's always treated as a hanger-on lump that no one likes, partly because, well, then it's understandable why he would betray them, partly because he never gets rounded characterization, and partly because it doesn't appear to be canon; near the beginning of the Deathly Hallows, Lupin says that James trusted and loved all his friends, and would never believed they would betray him.
So yeah. Generally, I like your story and your characters, but the Marauders need work. That's my my only major complaint so far.
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 11 . 1/9/2011
I'm really critical in this review, and I don't mean to be, but there is something that's really bugging me here; The Marauders in general are blandly characterized so far. Peter is a stereotypical wimp, Remus and James are boring and Sirius is a downright bully. It's Sirius that's annoying me the most, and I spend a lot of the review harping on about it.
""Let me through," Regan growled, and Lily willingly stepped aside to let her friend take her place in front of the peephole. "You." Regan's snarl was strong and menacing. "You and your buddies. Get your sorry arses down to Common Room NOW! We have a LOT of talking to do!""
Nice that you get to a conflict straight away. Sooo many J/L fics have chapters and chapters of people wangsting over their crushes, taking forever to actually get to some sort of confrontation. You've actually managed to avoid too much filler, which is so annoyingly common in fanfic (for obvious reasons, seeing fanfics rarely get much editing).
"Sirius – judging by the energetic look to his face and the fact that he was jumping from side to side while the others were standing completely still, he had consumed a higher quota of sugar than the others, and would therefore be less intuitive, and would probably remember little of this come morning."
Er, is it just me, or does practically every Marauders-Era fic on the planet have Sirius as some sort of sugar junkie? It's a bit cliche.
Seriously, the Marauders need work. I've said this earlier and I kind of want to hammer it home; the girls are way more developed, more original, more interesting and more likable than the boys. It's not easy to make OCs that are as or more interesting than canon characters, so props for that, but your depictions of the Marauders so far are one dimensional and cliche; so far they seem like cardboard love interests/antagonists for the girls.
""Have you ever heard of privacy?" she spat at him.
"Dunno. Mighta read it once or twice in a book... what does it mean?"
"You twit!" Hannah shouted. "Don't play stupid! We already know you're the dumbest thing on the planet."
"Are you an alien then? From outer space?" Sirius seemed to thrive off of Hannah's fury. "I always thought you were a little strange..."
"ARGH!" Hannah grabbed a pillow from the couch, and, with surprising force and accuracy, flung it at Sirius's head. Despite her valiant effort, it didn't seem to bother him. He only laughed.
"Now now," Sirius said with a smirk. "Play nice, Hanniekins,"
"What? And just let you go along with your malicious attacks? As if!"
"Malicious?" Sirius put on a fake pout, earning a hard scowl from Hannah. "We're not being meanies, are we?""
Yeah, well as much as I've criticized the Marauders, you have a good knack for humor; this exchange made me laugh.
Still though, we've got Hannah's weaknesses and esteem-issues, what about Sirius's? The whole Sirius/Hannah dynamic is one-sided at the moment. On one hand we've got this likable, funny, if flawed, girl who's constantly defending herself from the cutting remarks of a boy who she probably has a secret crush on, and is quite hurt by his comments. On the other hand, we've got Sirius, who is just a dick. He usually starts their rows for no reason at all than to hurt Hannah, he's deliberately crueler than her, he doesn't have any weak spots that Hannah stings, and he seems like a genuinely horrible person who just likes taunting people for the sake of it. It doesn't make for a sympathetic character, it doesn't make for a good love interest, and it's a waste of a character. Sirius is a layered, complex guy, with a lot of issues and troubles; he ran away from home, his friends are his only people in the world, comes from the Darkest family possible, and from what we see of his parents in the books, it's likely that they were abusive towards him. He's got massive demons, and it's a real shame to throw all his backstory and troubles away, and instead make him into a stereotypical, good-looking, Jerk Jock type of bully.
"She could tell that he was trying to remain mature, but because of the grin on his face it was also quite obvious that he was enjoying himself at as the Rogues became angrier and angrier. Ugh. Lily thought with disgust. One minute he's nice, the next minute he's pure evil. Why can't he just pick one and stick to it?"
Again, something I'm going to put down to lack of development from the Marauders. What the hell is going on with James? You seem to be veering between the two main fanon cliches for James's character; the gentlemanly hero, and the cruel bully. There's no real sense of balance, and there's very little flesh to his character. When you rework the earlier chapters, give some depth to the Marauders.
"I'm glad you're so fond of us," Hannah growled.
"Oh, I didn't mean you, Milton. Who would be fond of somebody as hideous as you?"
Lily could have sworn she saw a flicker of hurt cross her friend's face, but even if she did, it quickly disappeared. Hannah's expression became solid and fierce.
"You think I'm jealous of you?"
"Why wouldn't you be?"
"Why would I?"
"Maybe because I'm devilishly handsome, and you're butt ugly?"
Dear "Sirius Black", who are you and what have you done with my favorite Harry Potter character?
Seriously, he's just plain cruel. He's enjoying hurting Hannah's feelings (as opposed to Regan, who does at least show remorse about hurting Peter later in the chapter), and by the way he phrases his comments, he seems to be doing it deliberately as well. (In my experience, teenage guys who call teenage girls fat, ugly, etc, tend to know that this is something that really hurts a girl's feelings).
"Ever since second year, Sirius had, it seemed, been trying to make a point of firing insults at Hannah at every possible opportunity."
Why? You need to show some backstory and depth to his character, because right now he's coming off as a sadist and the Sirius/Hannah ship is going nowhere. (Which is a shame, because Hannah is the type of girl I'd like to see with a more canon, realistic version of Sirius. She's witty, outgoing, clever, and could probably keep Sirius in check). Yes, guys often tease girls they like, but there's a line between teasing and bullying, and what Sirius is doing is basically bullying. I'm not seeing the Sirius/Hannah ship right now. I'm seeing a really cruel guy shamelessly bullying a girl by exploiting her biggest insecurities.
""I know you think I'm hideous, Black! And I know you hate me! Hell, I hate you too! But do you think you could just cool it for once? I don't need you insulting me twenty four seven." Tears were rolling freely down her face now, and she bit her lip. "I don't want to hear it.""
*hugs Hannah* Hannah, you are so channelling me when I was thirteen and I absolutely love you. Hannah's probably the most sympathetic character so far, and you've done a great job creating her. She's relatable; loads of girls have issues with their bodies growing up, and readers feel for her.
"Sirius didn't reply at first. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes downcast. There was a trace of guilt on his face, but he was obviously trying to conceal it with a straight expression. He mumbled incoherently, and Lily picked out something like: "She deserved it.""
Okay, so he's begun to show some remorse here, but he's refusing to take any responsibility for his actions, and the fact he doesn't try to apologize or anything is immature and childish. He's not showing any character development at all, he's extremely flat.
"Lily sighed in defeat. At that moment, she had a dangerously strong urge to run downstairs and strangle Sirius. She was furious with him – anybody who had influence enough to break cheerful Hannah down to tears was definitely toying with their power, and Lily wanted to put a stop to it."
I think Lily's channeling my inner rage here. I love the girls loyalty and friendship though.
""Oh, Hannah..." Lily said with sympathy as she hurried to her friend's side. The others followed quickly, Regan pausing to shut the door behind them and Jamie stopping to put a locking charm on it."
I love this line here. It shows how loyal the girls are to each other, and despite all their differences, they do truly love each other. If you could show a similar scene with the Marauders, it would give them a hell of a lot more depth and likability both as a group and as individual characters.
"We sure made a mess of things tonight," she said with a miserable half-grin.
"We sure did."
"Hannah's a mess," Regan said, a crease in her brow.
"I murdered Pettigrew's self-esteem."
"I ruined any chance I had with James."
I like this exchange. I love the girls friendship, I love that they all talk to each other about their issues, and I love the unconditional trust they all have in one another. And I like that Regan, despite the fact she can be abrasive and cruel, does take responsibility for her actions over hurting Peter, unlike Sirius, who tries to act like it isn't his fault, and I'd really like it if it led to Regan realizing it isn't right or fair for her to constantly take the piss out of weaker people.
Basically, you're doing a far better job writing the Rogues than the Marauders. As well as their basic flaws and strengths, the girls are showing their issues and worries, they're having to confront problems and they're genuinely developing as characters (Hannah is a great character; one of the best Lily-friend OCs I've read in a while. Regan and Jamie are good too, but I'm loving Hannah right now). And the Marauders just aren't doing that. A big part of this is screentime; it's all in Lily's POV at the moment. When you get the time to rework the earlier chapters, I'd suggest giving the boys some scenes to themselves to develop their character and group dynamic, show their backstories and insecurities, and flesh o
| GiantPurpleRing chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 9 . 1/5/2011
Chapter 10 review;
While I like the whole slumber party scene - especially the details such as Nogtail-Doxy-Crup and the Transfigured bedroom - you spend about a third of the chapter on the setting of the sleepover. It's too long and drawn out; get to the jokes and the humor. JK Rowling made great settings for Diagon Alley in Philosopher's Stone, or for the Ministry in Order Of The Phoenix, and she only used a couple of paragraphs, getting straight to the plot.
You don't need all this. Don't be afraid to skip an hour or so ahead in the timeline; don't feel the need to account for every moment in the year.
"Hannah retrieved stack of about ten CDs. She got up and inserted every one of them into the machine (there were benefits of a magical stereo), then called out to the others."
What do you mean by "benefits of a magical stereo"? Explain it more clearly, rather than just pinning everything on "It's magic" or "A wizard did it."
"After settling on an album of rock music by the Weird Sisters, the girls settled back into their haven of cushions. They chatted amongst themselves for quite sometime, becoming lost in laughter and completely detached from their thoughts as a result of all the sweets they had eaten. Finally, they fell silent, but not for long; Hannah, it seemed, was intent on keeping them entertained at all times. As soon as nobody was speaking, she reached into her backpack once again and pulled out a small green vial. Lily recognized it at once, and gasped."
Seriously, you don't need all this "They chatted and laughed and ate sweets." Just get to the Veritaserum/ Truth or Dare straight away. That's the plot, and that's what's really important.
"Hannah expressed interest in all sorts of things. Lily wouldn't put it beyond her to find out about things like this simply through reading a Muggle magazine."
I love Hannah. So far, she's one of the meatiest, most developed characters. As well as having her strengths and flaws and weaknesses, she's also got lots of interests and likes and dislikes. She's the one who pushes the Rogues to get involved and do lots of different things. As much as I like the other Rogues, we haven't seen much of their actual roles in the group, or their interests and dislikes, so it'd be good to see that developed some more. (Something else that's been bugging me; we're told that Jamie, despite being quieter and shyer than the others, is still a mischievous prankster. We haven't really seen much of that side of her yet).
"Jamie and Regans faces were shifting with suspicion."
Typo. Jamie and Regan's faces.
I like the idea of the girls playing games like Rock-Paper-Scissors and Truth Or Dare with a magical twist. It makes it identifiable to readers, but with an exciting, slightly exotic twist, that makes it all the more interesting. It's probably one of the reasons the Harry Potter books were so popular; Rowling built up a magical world that felt like looking into a distorted mirror of our world. So congrats for replicating that pretty well.
"What do you think of Peter Pettigrew?"
"Pathetic git. Suck up. Stupid, useless follower," she said, and Lily was pleasantly surprised, until she added, "I feel a little sorry for him."
Is it wrong that I'm kind of shipping these two? I'm still not sure whether you're going to put these two together or not, seeing as you dislike Peter so much. But I like to see a bit of depth towards Regan's attitude to Peter.
""In first year," she began. "Was it you who stole the Sorting Hat from Dumbledore's office?"
"Yes." Regan muttered.
"Can I ask her why?" Lily directed this question at Hannah, who nodded briskly. "Why, Regan?" Lily was really starting to enjoy this game.
"I was trying to get Pettigrew moved into Slytherin.""
""Blaine Harlow?" Hannah had trouble getting the words out through her wild laughter. "Didn't you spend every minute of your spare time in third year coming up with new ways to hex him?"
"Yes. That was a cover up." Regan admitted unintentionally, her face still hidden."
Hehehe. I love Regan, but I love seeing her embarrassed even more.
""Jamie, on a scale of one to ten, how jealous are you of Lily's position as Head Girl?""
Kind of close to the bone, Hannah. It's interesting how she hates Sirius for his insensitivity, but can be pretty insensitive herself. This exchange gives us good insight into both girls though.
"Lily moved closer to the wall, her eyes widening as she did. Unless, she thought. Somebody put a hole in it."
Err, if the guys could get through it that easily, it doesn't seem like Jamie and Lily did particularly good spellwork.
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 10 . 1/4/2011
Hey, the evil reviewer is back!
"Lily gave him a weak smile and stepped forward, letting the moving staircase pull her upwards. She was still unsure of how to react to this sudden kindness he was showing."
So am I. I first mentioned this in my last review, but I'll elaborate now. Basically, he's been this one-dimensional gentleman up to this point. Lily often thinks about how much he's changed and that he's far more mature but it's all telling and not showing. James isn't going through any emotional challenges and character development, all we're told is that he used to be an absolute jerk and now he's a nice bloke. It wouldn't be too much of a problem if it was still the first or second chapter and then some information was revealed or a plot point was developed that explained James's maturity. But now it's nine chapters in, and in every chapter, Lily's mentioned or thought of James's maturity, but it isn't going anywhere. The pacing is too slow really, and needs to be speeded up.
Actually, this brings me to another point about the boys in general. You write the Rogues way better than you write the Marauders; the girls are all interesting, funny people who make great protagonists (which is great, because most L/J fanfics have dull stereotypes of Lily and her mates), but the Marauders so far are all one-dimensional fanon cliches of their real personalities; James is a heroic perfect guy, Sirius is a handsome jerkass, Remus is a quiet sensible nice guy, and Peter is a loser who no one seems to like (which seems pretty odd; if everyone hated him and thought him useless and couldn't stand him, it's unlikely he would have been allowed into the Order and been given the job of Secret Keeper. I know Sirius meant it as a bluff, but even then, surely they wouldn't have given Lily and James's safety to someone who, if the worst came to the worst, couldn't defend himself from Death Eaters. Plus he was able to transform into an Animagus, keep a massive secret from Dumbledore, blast a street apart and kill 13 Muggles. Guy must've had some skill, right?)
Anyhow, as you proved with Lily, Hannah, Jamie and Regan, you can write great characters. And the Marauders were great characters in their own right, so maybe when you get the chance to rework it, you could develop the boys' personalities some more? Maybe don't have Lily as the only POV? Juggling eight main characters is pretty hard work, and it's especially difficult if you only write it in one POV.
"For instance," said Dumbledore with a smile. "We will be needed an event of sorts to entertain us on Halloween evening. Also, Professor McGonagall and I have discussed planning something new for Christmas time. The staff are getting a little tired of the same old feast, you see. We will, however, hand this brainstorm over to you when the time comes."
Ha, like the idea of James and Lily having to plan events together. Should be comedy gold.
"Petey Pettigrew's in looooooove with you!" Hannah squealed, causing Jamie's laughter to elevate to a higher volume and pitch. Lily giggled, and Regan shook her head.
"He's a pathetic little wimp, did you know that?" Regan wasn't blushing at all, which told Lily that her words were very truthful. "That ratbag had better be careful, or he might just find his head stuffed inside my cauldron. When it's full."
I feel so sorry for Peter in most Marauder-Era L/J fics. The entire fandom hates him, granted, and they have fair reason to, what with him killing Lily and James, putting Sirius in jail and leaving Remus friendless for most of his life after that. Plus, people get especially bored writing him when they already have Sirius, Remus and James, some of the most popular characters in the fandom, to have fun with. But he has a really interesting storyline, and it would be interesting to see him as a fleshed-out, three dimensional character with flaws and strengths, rather than a background joke character. Him and the "real" Marauders cared about each other once, and it would be good to see him as a functioning member of the Marauders who actually had a talent and did something useful. And I'm not sure whether you are planning on a Regan/Peter romance (seeing as you seem to dislike him), but I would actually think it would be pretty great; he never gets a love interest, and let's face it, having Regan behind him and supporting him would do a lot for his self-esteem, as well as forcing him to grow up and make himself useful for once. :)
| Phoebe Caulfield 16 chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Er, sorry, I haven't had time to finish reading and reviewing this story, but on the off chance you're reading this; I checked out your TheMaraudersAndTheRogues website, and I was wondering, who's the actress in your pictures for Regan? Only I recognized all the other actresses for the Rogues, and I had no idea who the girl in Regan's pictures were.